Author: Perspective Confessions

A Personal Psalm of Lament

A Personal Psalm of Lament

For a little more than a year, I volunteered with Seek and Find studies.

Two incredibly smart and gifted ladies, Summer and Christi, write the Bible studies and we attend the same church. Their goal is to put the Bible back in Bible studies.

My volunteering with Seek and Find Studies centered around writing (surprise) 🙂 and creating social media content.

I really enjoyed the volunteer work. In fact, it showed and reminded me of the talents God has given me.

Seek and Find studies gave me a way to utilize those talents. Which led me back here to perspectiveconfessions.com to dust off my blog and begin writing consistently.

One of the Bible studies is about the book of Psalms. Through this Bible study, I learned there are different types of psalms, such as psalms of:

  • Praise
  • Lament
  • Gratitude
  • Repentance
  • Wisdom

If you study psalms of lament in the Bible, you will find that there are 4 common elements:

  • a call for help
  • a lament
  • a petition
  • words of praise

Lament is an expression of profound sorrow, pain, or confusion.

In our world today, there are many things to lament about. Things that we feel are not in our control.

Psalms of lament express deep human affliction. They encourage us to call on the Lord in the midst of our struggles and teach us how to lament. Yes, we can read and study psalms of lament already written, such as Psalms 22.

We can also write our own psalms of lament.

I wrote a lament based upon a prompt while working through the Bible study.

Here is my version:

Why, God, do I lie awake at night tormented by fearful thoughts? The most worrisome and terrifying thoughts creep into my mind when the lights turn out, the sun sleeps and the house becomes quiet…that’s when my mind springs awake.

All corners of fear that can be pushed aside or buried in the daylight spring forth in new, vengeful life in the darkness.

Where are you? Lord, where is your light in the darkness? Don’t you see me? Don’t you hear my prayers to make it stop?

My mind, body, and soul is tired from the day’s grind.

Rushing, anywhere and everywhere.

Every waking moment filled with work, meetings, appointments, FaceTime, Zoom calls, endless and incessant social media scrolling, family, friends, traffic, errands, text messages, phone calls, notifications, emails, instant messages, children, grandchildren, church, studies, events, sports, on demand streaming.

Not all of these are bad, there is goodness in them, but not all at once and all the time.

I am poured out all the time and yet consuming all the time.

Consuming the emptiness of the busyness of instantaneous, on demand life that commands my attention to the right now and over here and what about this?!

Everything and nothing is what life demands and gives.

So much so that I don’t even know who I am or who you are, Lord.

I lie awake at night with tormenting thoughts because I’ve not given myself any time or space to process, rest, recharge, or center and ground myself in you, God.

I’m reminded of Psalms 23. You provide rest and everything I need.

You restore.

You are good, God, so, so good.

Help me find a different rhythm founded upon you.

You truly do fill up my empty being.

Grant me wisdom to discern life giving and life taking tasks.

Give me the discipline to go against the flow of the world.

Thank you for the rest, restoration, and reconciliation that you give freely to those looking and asking you for it.

Lord, I am looking and asking!

Amen.

Feelings and Resiliency

Feelings and Resiliency

My full time job has been marked with lots of feelings this year.

My company has had 15 – 20% headcount reductions (read as layoffs).

I was in the first round of reductions. Thankfully, I am still gainfully employed.

That is not true for many people, including the team I was a part for the last 2 years.

My former team’s positions were eliminated entirely. At the end of the first round, 2 teammates elected to retire or voluntarily leave; 4 were left standing (meaning they were laid off); and 3 of us were placed in other positions.

How rapidly it all happened was shocking. One day we were a team and the next I would not see some of my team members anymore.

Corporate world can be and is brutal. I’ve personally experienced headcount reductions 4 times in my 14 year career so far. I’m certain there will be more.

Beginning at the end of 2024, my team and others began preparing employees for what was coming.

The uncertainty that lingers for months in advance of knowing if you have a job or not is stressful!

We lean on tools to strengthen our resiliency during these times. These tools equip us for what will ultimately come. They remind us to be flexible and lean into strengths. Focus on what we can control and loosen our grip on what we cannot.

They are good reminders during this time. And while these tools don’t take away the hardship of enduring one of these reductions, it can help shift our mindset..

In February of 2025, I gave a presentation about Feelings and Resilience. Here is what I shared.

Referring to the Feeling Wheel, if you had to name the feeling(s) you have right now, what would it be?

Are you surprised that there are so many feelings? And yet, they can connect back to 6 core feelings.

What feelings do you tend to ignore?

Do you think it’s possible to ignore “bad” feelings and only experience “good” feelings? Why or why not?

Early this year, I finished reading Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

What I didn’t know before I read the book was how much resiliency is incorporated into imperfection.

Brene writes, when we become more accepting of uncomfortable feelings, we become more flexible and can enjoy life more fully even with feelings of discomfort.

In her book she notes:

  • Shame, guilt, fear, despair, disappointment, and sadness are difficult feelings that tend to cause vunerability, discomfort, and pain.
  • The most powerful feelings we experience have very sharp points, like the tip of a thorn.
  • Which usually leads to modes of distraction to get away from the uncomfortable feelings. Such as…mindless scrolling, eating, drinking, shopping, staying busy, work, choas, etc.

Everyone moves away from feelings of discomfort.

We also must remember that we cannot selectively ignore feelings.

“When we numb the dark, we numb the light.”

We can’t make a list of “bad” feelings and say, “I’m going to ignore these” and then list the positive feelings and say, “I’m going to fully engage in these!”

It doesn’t work that way.

Let’s explore the feeling of Joy.

To love and/or believe in something with your whole heart; to engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees…these involve the risk of vulnerability and often pain.

AND

Great joy can come from them.

Feelings of hopelessness, fear, blame, pain, discomfort, vulnerability, and disconnection sabotage our resilience and well being.

The only experience broad and fierce enough to combat a list like that is the belief that we’re all in this together and that something greater than ourselves has the capacity to bring love and compassion into our lives.

Practicing spirituality is what brings about healing and creates resilience.

Spirituality is being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.

Here is an example of the ways I’ve leaned into my spirituality practice.

Having a sense of purpose, meaning, and perspective in our lives allows us to develop understanding and move forward. Without purpose, meaning, and perspective, it is easy to lose hope, numb our emotions, or become overwhelmed by our circumstances.

We feel reduced, less capable, and lost in the face of struggle. The heart of spirituality is connection and through that, we won’t feel alone.

How do you know that you are ignoring uncomfortable feelings?

Recognizing and leaning into (not away) from discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace.

We live in a both/and world.

We can experience discomfort and joy. They are not mutually exclusive.

When you have the awareness, what can you do to practice leaning into the discomfort?

How can you lean into the discomfort of vulnerability and let joy in as well?

Exercise Prompt:

Hold up both hands, palms up and open. Can you practice holding the feelings of discomfort in one hand and the “good” feelings in the other hand? In fact, write on one open palm your feelings of discomfort and then write the “good” feelings on the other open palm. Practicing holding and experiencing both.

An Overlooked Tool for Leaders

An Overlooked Tool for Leaders

Are you a leader of people?

Are you an influential leader? Influential doesn’t always mean you have direct reports. It means you collaborate with and guide others toward outcomes, often without formal authority. This ability to influence is essential for moving initiatives forward and being successful in your role.

Hint: we are all influential leaders!

This applies in the workplace, in your community, and at home. For example, parents—especially of teenagers—quickly learn that influence is far more powerful than control. The same principle applies to managers, project leads, and peers working across departments.

Too often we think leadership means being “the one in charge” with a team reporting to you. In reality, the most effective leaders know that influence, not control, is what drives collaboration, innovation, and long-term results.

One area all leaders have in common is working with people. Whether it’s direct reports or those you’re influencing to move initiatives and projects forward, managing and influencing people is a complex skill set—one you learn and refine over time.

Leaders are not mind readers. People are many shades of gray, shaped by their unique experiences, perspectives, and stories.

Every individual sees the world through their own lens, influenced by both their career and personal life. Effective leaders embrace this complexity and work to understand, adapt, and connect.

Leadership can also reach frustration and overwhelm quickly.

With constant technological change, leaders are stretched thin—running from meeting to meeting while processing an overwhelming amount of information.

The human mind was not designed to handle this relentless pace with clarity.

In such a fast-paced world, we’ve lost the art of slowing down. Reflection has become a forgotten tool.

Slowing down can feel archaic when demands push us to go faster and faster.

But the question remains: What are we missing by moving so fast? How would you even know what’s slipping past you when life is lived at lightning speed?

One underutilized tool for leaders is keeping a journal. Not typing notes into a phone or laptop—but physically writing in a journal with a physical pen and paper.

The physical act of writing slows down the mind automatically.

It creates space for reflection, and helps leaders process their experiences, challenges, and decisions in a deeper way.

It allows leaders to know and understand their unique perspectives. Which in turn will enhance their decision making every day.

A leader’s unique perspective is the source of creativity and competitive advantage.

In today’s AI world, tapping into creativity and having a competitive advantage is paramount.

Without slowing down and using journaling as a tool, we lose the art of listening to ourselves and our innate wisdom.

How do you create a discipline of journaling?

  1. Don’t over complicate it!
  2. Buy a journal.
  3. Set aside 15 minutes of uninterrupted time either at the beginning or end of your day to journal.
  4. Block that time on your calendar!
  5. Close your computer.
  6. Silence your notifications on your phone.
  7. Set a timer for 15 minutes.
  8. Write.

“Ok, great”, you might say. “But, what in the world do I write about? Especially when this feels like a weird, new thing to do?”

Great question!

Journal Prompts for Leaders.

Pick one to get started. What you journal about could either be personal or professional.

  1. What has been at the forefront of my mind today?
  2. What is keeping me up at night?
  3. What has been a common theme this week/last week?
  4. What are my priorities? Do those priorities stack up against the work I’m doing and meetings I’m attending?
  5. What needs to change?
  6. What am I missing?
  7. What is a circular thought pattern I’m having that I can’t find a solution?

Bonus Tips:

  1. Let yourself write whatever comes to mind.
  2. Do not have an agenda.
  3. No judgements in what you write about or don’t write about.
  4. Let the writing flow.
  5. Don’t be surprised if you start writing about one topic and you finish on another topic.
  6. Trust the process.
  7. Trust that whatever you write down is exactly what needed to be written and reflected upon.
  8. You just might surprise yourself.

Asking ourselves questions and slowing down to reflect brings us back to what is meaningful, what we believe in, and overall gives us purpose.

And if leaders reconnect to their purpose, that purpose will flow through them to those they influence. <– this is motivating and inspiring! It will have a ripple effect on your team and those you work alongside.

And all of this is a great ROI!

Challenge: Commit to journaling 15 minutes everyday for a month. Then, reflect on how it helped and enhanced your leadership.

In a world where we feel like we can’t slow down, it’s often exactly what leaders need.

For more reasons to journal, check this blog post: 12 Reasons to Keep a Journal

How to Save Your First $1,000 Emergency Fund

How To Save Your First $1,000 Emergency Fund

Before aggressively paying down debt, it’s smart to build a small emergency fund. This $1,000 acts as a financial safety net. It protects your goals when life throws the unexpected your way, like a car repair or medical bill. With this cushion, you can handle surprises without derailing your progress.

Check out my recent personal story and why I was so thankful we had our emergency fund in place.

Why $1,000?

It’s enough to cover most small emergencies, giving you breathing room and reducing the temptation to reach for credit cards or loans.

3 Ways to Save Your First $1,000 Emergency Fund

1. Cut Back on Expenses:

  • Skip eating out for a month — potential savings: $250–$500
  • Have a “no spend” month (necessities only) — potential savings: $150–$250
  • Pause online shopping — potential savings: $200+
  • Discontinue subscriptions (streaming, etc.) — potential savings: $90 – $100

2. Side Hustle for Extra Cash:

  • Babysitting — $15–$20/hour
  • Dog walking — $15–$25/hour
  • Rideshare driving — $18–$25/hour
  • Freelance work (writing, design, admin) — $20–$40/hour
  • Grocery or food delivery — $15–$25/hour

3. Sell Stuff You Don’t Use:

  • Host a garage sale — potential earnings: $200–$500
  • Sell on Facebook Marketplace — potential earnings: $50–$300
  • List items on eBay or Poshmark — potential earnings: $50–$200

Putting It All Together:
Combine strategies — cut back spending, pick up a short-term side hustle, and sell unused items. You could reach your $1,000 goal in as little as 4–6 weeks.

Bottom Line:
Your first $1,000 emergency fund is your buffer between life’s surprises and your financial goals. Build it fast — and watch your confidence grow as you tackle your debt next. This will build momentum as you tackle your next financial goal!

Emergency Funds: Why is it Important & How Much is Enough?

Emergency Funds: Why is it Important & How Much is Enough?

Life happens, right?

It happened to us recently. A few Sundays ago, I was in the bathroom getting ready.

My husband, Jeff, was in the attic. Some of you are already anticipating what I’m going to tell you. 🫣

He was in the attic inspecting how much electrical wire we had to complete a project.

His footsteps sounded hard and loud!

Then, a very loud crack, crash, and I came running out of the bathroom into the bedroom to see what in the world was happening.

It sounded like the house was falling in.

And it kinda did…Jeff fell through the ceiling of our bedroom.

Lovely.

He wasn’t hurt. Thank goodness!

He was able to catch himself before his whole body came through the ceiling.

The damage was done. A Jeff sized hole in the ceiling of our bedroom.

Of course, Jeff was leaving for a work trip the next day too. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Emergency Funds: Why is it Important & How Much is Enough?

We managed to get the hole covered with plywood, a trash bag, and tarp before he left for his trip.

My biggest concern while he was gone is I didn’t want the heat coming into the house from the attic. Hello late June in Houston = HOT! And I didn’t want any critters crawling in from the attic either!

A few weeks later, we were able to get someone to come and patch it for us.

Why an Emergency Fund?

Accidents happen as does life stuff, right? This is a great example!

This made me so thankful for our emergency fund that we have in place. Which meant, other than the inconvenience, we didn’t have to worry about it. We had the money to have it fixed. Cost and labor was about $350.

This is not a brag post about our emergency fund. This is a post to ask, “are you prepared financially when accidents and life happen?”

I’m pretty sure you’ve experienced a car breakdown, a flat tire, the kitchen sink leaking, a toilet overflows, the dryer goes out, etc. Feel free to add to this list.

When these things happen, they are ALWAYS inconvenient.

If you put space between yourself and the life happens stuff, it will only ever be an inconvenience.

The space or distance you create between yourself and the life stuff is called an emergency fund.

You can also think of an emergency fund as protection from life stuff.

How Much is Enough in an Emergency Fund?

Everyone should have, at minimum, $1,000 in an emergency fund.

This is true if you are a college student or someone that has a full time job and is working toward financial goals, such as paying off debt.

Now, if you have no consumer debt (no car, student loan, credit card, etc.), then the next step would be to grow your emergency fund to 3 – 6 months worth of expenses.

How much is 3 – 6 months worth of expenses? Great question!

Your budget would be a great tool to help you find your living expenses. How much are you spending to live each month?

These expenses would include:

  • Rent or mortgage payments
  • Utilities – water, gas, electricity, internet, phone
  • Transportation costs – gas, tolls, etc.
  • Food – groceries, not restaurants
  • Insurance – car, house, renters’, etc.
  • Medical expenses – copays, prescriptions, etc.
  • Pet expenses – food, medical, etc.

Imagine you just lost your job. What do you do? How are you going to live?

I recently went through an organizational restructure in the company in which I work full-time.

Fortunately, I have a job now. However, many of my teammates were laid off. What do you do in those circumstances?

One way to prepare is to have 3 – 6 months worth of expenses saved to help create space or protection between you, your family, and a major life event… like job loss.

This will give you room to breathe and time to find your next job.

Life stuff happens. It’s not fair when it does.

But, you know it will happen, so there is no reason to delay getting an emergency fund started if you don’t already have one.

Tip: Emergency fund money should be in its own separate savings account. Do not include in your checking account.

Next week, let’s talk about ways to save your first $1,000 in your emergency fund.

Silent Retreat 2025: Table Exercise

Silent Retreat 2025: Table Exercise

If you haven’t read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 yet of the Silent Retreat 2025 series, see links for the full story. 

The final morning of the retreat, Danielle was the first up to make breakfast for all of us.

As the cabin slowly began waking up, each of us wandered to the kitchen. We were still in silence. Some ate breakfast at the long kitchen table. Others took their breakfast on the back porch or in the living room. 

I pulled up a chair facing the window, ate my breakfast, and continued reading my Living Fearless book until time to meet in the living room. This gathering would indicate our coming out of silence.

Danielle led us in songs of praise and scripture. Then the focus is back to us and she asks who would like to share how God met us in our silence.

It’s not a requirement to share. It’s an invitation with what you feel comfortable sharing.

Each woman’s experience was unique. Each was tender, sweet, and sometimes heartbreaking too. Life stuff that needed to surface in the slowing down and silence so God could tenderly be near and have the opportunity to love, care, and begin the healing. 

I decided to share something I wrote which was prompted at the very beginning of silence.

Rewind back to the first night. Danielle prompted us to take part in an exercise using our holy imaginations.

What is holy imagination? God created you after His own image. God has an incredible imagination. Have you enjoyed a painted sky at sunset or sunrise? What about a giraffe or zebra? Then, you have experienced His imagination in creation. I think He may have a sense of humor too.

God created your imagination also. With His Spirit living within us, we are capable of using our holy imaginations while asking Him to guide us.

That first night, Danielle prompted us to close our eyes and imagine a table. What does the table look like? How many chairs? Where is the table? Is there a distinct scent or smell? 

You are at the table and Jesus appears too. Where are you sitting? Where is Jesus sitting? What does Jesus look like?

Jesus asks you if there’s something of value you’d like to give Him. What is it? What do you have to give Jesus?

What happens when you give it to Him?

Jesus also has something to give to you. What does He have for you? What happens when He gives it to you?

Do you have a conversation with Jesus? What does He say to you? What do you say to Him?

Below is my result of the exercise and what I shared with the ladies as part of my experience with God during that weekend.

Circle table. Where? No characteristics to the room. Only 2 chairs. No distinct smell. What am I holding that is of value to give to Jesus? 

Control.

Jesus sits down directly across from me. 

What does He look like?

He looks kind. Long hair. Beard. Gentle smile.

“Is there something you’d like to give me?” He asks. A gentle question.

My eyes immediately fill with tears and the tears fall from my face to the table.

I know He’s asking for something that is not and was never mine. And yet it’s something I hold onto so tightly because it feels like I am in control. 

I get to make decisions. I get to choose where my life goes next.

The control I have to give Him is lies.

It’s a lie I’ve believed in for so long so I could feel safety and security. 

It’s all an illusion.

Jesus knows this and He knows I’m coming to that conclusion too.

“What would you like to give me?” He gently asks again.

“Control,” I reply with an emotion filled voice and tear filled eyes.

The control I have is represented as a hand-sized white orb that glows.

I take it from my lap and put it on the table. I stare at it scared to let it go because it represents that I can control my fears. 

And if I don’t have it, what then? Am I doomed? Will I disappear? Will I survive? What will become of me?

I look across the table to Jesus with tears running down my face.

“I know,” He whispers. 

His eyes are kind and compassionate. He extends His arms across the table to meet me in my dilemma. 

Again, an invitation.

This gives me a bit more courage to push the white orb of control to the middle of the table where Jesus’ hands are.

It’s only then that I notice His hands. They are large, masculine yet soft. They remind me of my Dad’s hands. Then, I remember that my Dad was made in His image too.

I see the scars on His hands and a new wave of emotion strikes me.

Jesus did not control the cruxifixction. He asked God to “let this cup pass from me”. There was no other way and He let His Father’s will be done. 

He chose to not control. He surrendered. 

Jesus knows the temptation to control and how hard it is to surrender.

Even though the white, glowing orb of control is now in the middle of the table, I have not let go of it yet.

Jesus’ hands are open to receive and I open mine to release, to let go…

The white orb rolls into His hands. He pulls it into Himself and it’s gone. 

His hands come back to meet mine. “I know how hard that was,” he says. 

“You were holding onto something that was not real, something that the harder you gripped it, the more life it took from you.”

“Now, your hands are open and ready to receive the gifts and blessings I have for you instead. Now, you can carry me with you to combat the fears, the hardships, the scary things in your life. You can grip and hold onto me as tightly as you’d like. I am not going anywhere. I am with you always. I have always been with you. With the relinquishment of control, you have made room for me.”

“I am real. I am truth. You traded what is false for what is true. How much better is that? Do not grieve letting go of lies. Stand firm in truth. You are my daughter. I know your heart and I love you,” Jesus says to me. 

What do you have that is valuable to you to give to Jesus today? What do you think He has for you?

Lead the way, Lord. Amen.

Silent Retreat 2025: Distractions

Silent Retreat 2025: Distractions

If you haven’t had a chance to catch up, make sure to read Part 1 and Part 2 of the Silent Retreat 2025 series.

I’ve been writing a lot lately about combating all the distractions we have in our everyday lives. Our modern world is distracting!

Distractions at a silent retreat can happen too. In Part 2, I wrote about the tremendous rain and storms that happened in the area. The weather, of course, was distracting.

There was another distraction for me that weekend, though. Right after we turned in our phones that first night, I found wasps in my room. Not 1, not 2, but 3 wasps in my bathroom!

Danielle helped me kill them. After she left, I was jumpy because I didn’t know where they came from or if there were more. And I knew I had to sleep in my bed that night. I would need to revisit my bathroom to shower!

I felt vulnerable and exposed. I managed to shower successfully without any more wasps. As I was getting ready for bed, I noticed a wasp in the window.

The room I was in had a loft to it. There was a ladder and a bunk up overhead and the wasp was up high on the window. I prayed that he’d just stay there.

I was able to sleep fairly well that evening. The next morning as I was getting ready, I noticed a wasp on the floor. I thought it was already dead but decided to step on it anyway. It was not already dead…

This is now 4 wasps that have been killed in my room.

When I came back to my room later that afternoon, there were 2 more wasps in my bathroom. Danielle had gotten some wasp spray. I retrieved it and put it to use. The wasp I sprayed with it…well, it seemed to only make it angry!

It crawled into a crevice in the baseboard. “Great!” I thought. I sprayed more wasp spray in the crevice. Out it came, seemingly more angry. I stepped on it and cleaned up the residue of the spray.

The other wasp was in the shower. I took my wash cloth and swatted at it. It clung to the wash cloth. I dropped it, of course. Finally, I was able to step on that one too.

“Where in the world are they coming from?” I thought to myself. That was the eeriest part of it. Not knowing where they were coming from or how many more there were.

That night was not as restful. I seriously considered not taking a shower. Mainly because I didn’t want to be caught exposed having to battle another wasp.

I made a deal with myself that I would shower, but it would be fast. I had planned to wash my hair, and decided against it.

Showering was successful. No other wasps.

I got ready for bed and laid down to read. While reading, I noticed a wasp flying high above me in the loft area. I had the ceiling fan on and I hoped that would do the trick. Maybe he will just leave me alone. I’m leaving him alone and thinking surely he’d leave me alone too.

I turned out the light and tried to sleep. No. such. luck. I tossed and turned and for sure the wasp was on my mind.

I turned the lamp back on again and sat up in bed. I didn’t want to read anymore. Coloring in my devotional coloring book it is!

It’s still storming outside, by the way. Rain is continuing to beat down. Lightening is lighting up the night sky and rumbles of thunder follow.

I colored for a long while. I kept my eye on the wasp every once and while. He was still flying above me from time to time.

Around 2:30 in the morning, the wasp made his move. He flew down close to me, the buzzing close to my ear. He landed on the wall close to my bedside.

Nope! Nope! Ok, I’m done.

This is wasp number 7. I did not want to attempt to kill this one. It’s early in the morning. If I miss and get stung, I’m going to be alone to deal with it. And I didn’t want to wake the rest of the house either.

While keeping my eyes fixated on this wasp, I gathered my pillow and a bag and went downstairs.

After getting downstairs, I thought about it for a minute. I decided to go back up and get all the rest of my things too. I was done with the eerie wasps.

There was a half bathroom downstairs that I could get ready in the next morning. And I could sleep on one of the couches in the living room.

And that’s what I did. I colored more first. This was me trying to calm my nerves about the wasps. I relaxed finally and laid down to sleep.

The rain still pouring outside. Lightening and thundering too.

I believe the wasps were a distraction tactic by the enemy. Doesn’t the enemy want to keep you from God? Why would the enemy be happy about your trying to spend uninterrupted time with God?

While I knew this was true and I prayed about it, and prayed for the wasps to go away. They didn’t.

What I also thought was interesting was the wasps, when I killed them were fairly easy to kill. They didn’t put up much of a fight, didn’t fly at me. They were slow. They weren’t flying very much and they weren’t able to defend themselves well.

When I talked with my dad later that day on the way home, I told him about them. He said they had been hibernating and were emerging but stiff and not as agile.

What I know to be true is the enemy has no authority over us unless we agree to his lies. The enemy is weak in comparison to our God.

The wasps were scary. Knowing they were in the room was scary, but they didn’t pose as much of a threat as they appeared. I wasn’t stung, but the threat was there.

I believe that the wasps were a representation of the enemy and his lies. However, truth is more powerful and always holds authority over evil.

I also think there is a significance to there being 7 wasps. The number 7 is very significant in the Bible.

*It appears over 700 times in the Bible.

*The significance of the number 7 represents perfection and completion.

*Creation happened in 7 days. – Genesis 1; 2: 1-2

*God rested on the 7th day.

*It is exoneration and healing.

*It is a fulfillment of promises and oaths.

*Reference linked from christianity.com.

The wasps nor the enemy were successful that weekend in their distractions.

They were minor distractions that I needed to deal with and handle.

The Silent Retreat weekend was fruitful in rest, safety, and connection with the Heavenly Father.

And I’d do it all again. May I take the experience of the wasps with me as I encounter other distractions and fears.

May I remember:

I pray that you also stand on these truths the next time you encounter fear distracting you from the Father’s love.

Stay tuned for another installment of my Silent Retreat weekend next week!

Silent Retreat 2025: Being Present

Silent Retreat 2025: Being Present

Make sure to read Part 1 of my experience at Awaken Silent Retreat.

The prayer path continued on the other side of the creek. I wasn’t able to cross, so I backtracked to the main gravel road. 

From there, I had 2 choices. Turn right back to the cabin or go left and see what else I could find.

I chose left and spotted another path connected to a very wide expanse of rock shore next to the creek.

I could hear the sound of the moving water, and I heard the sound of falling water hitting rock. It was much like the sound of a good, heavy rain hitting concrete. 

On the opposite side of the creek was a rock and tree embedded mountainside. I was searching for where the sound of falling water was coming from. I couldn’t see it, only hear it.

I walked closer letting sound be my guide, and found it! The morning’s storm had made little waterfalls coming off the mountainside. The water was smacking the rock as it fell.

I sat down on the rocky bank to take it all in. Being so close to the water, I was entertained with the tiniest fish jumping out of the water’s surface. I couldn’t help but think it was God’s smile. I was sitting still, not distracted. I was taking time to relish in His beautiful creation. 

Sitting there, I was reminded of a guided meditation I once experienced. It was guiding me to clear my mind. When a thought came to mind, it told me to think about moving water in a creek. Release the thought and let it be washed away with the moving water. 

For someone who’s mind never stops having thoughts, this was an exercise and analogy that stuck. It’s a great visual tool.

Sin and baptism. Washing away in the water.

As I watched the moving water, I’m noticed the logs, sticks, and leaves that was being carried in it’s current. Carrying them away much like my thoughts.

Between the falling water that sounded like rain, to the sound of the moving, gurgling water, the water lapping the rock shore, and seeing the water move at the same pace and rhythm…this was its own guided meditation. 

God’s guided meditation.

Tan, brown water. Rock mountainside with pops of vibrant green. 

Rock shore with smooth river rock all shapes, sizes, and all smooth. I’m sure from the moving water. Tan, cream, rust, red, yellow, orange, white rocks speckling the shoreline. 

I sat there capturing the scenery with my journal and pen. I didn’t have a camera with me, and I wanted to hold this beautiful place and moment in my memory.

There was more weather moving in. It was evident by the distant thunder rumbling and the darkening skies. I knew my time by the creek was coming to an end, so I walked back up the main gravel road back to the cabin.

I made it back just in time as the pouring rain began again and lunch was ready too.

Danielle always makes wonderful meals for us. Lunch was a charcuterie board spread across the counter with a delightful assortment of meats, cheeses, fruits, nuts, crackers, etc. 

After lunch, it was still raining. The cabin had a large front porch with several rocking chairs. I snagged a rocking chair and watched the rain.

When I say it stormed and down poured rain, I mean it really did! Thunder so loud and booming it shook the ground beneath me. The rain did not let up!

Regardless, several of the ladies, including myself, sat and rocked, and enjoyed the storm. I read the Living Fearless book again. This book has prayer and journal prompts. Highly recommend!

My hubby had given me a birthday present for my trip. Complete with my favorite snacks and a devotional coloring book. I had not colored in so long and this was a perfect opportunity.

Rocking, watching the rain, coloring, reading, journaling, feeling the thunder underneath me.

God is powerful, peaceful, and mighty. Rain, lightening, and thunder…peaceful yet mighty and powerful.

The rain continued. Danielle was keeping tabs on the weather. She let us know we were also under a tornado warning.

How do you communicate with others when you are at a silent retreat? Good old fashioned paper, pen, and the passing of notes. 

And even though torrential storms surrounded us, I never felt fear. Instead, I felt like God had tucked me under His wing. He was taking care of us. And I knew that this was a special time with Him. 

What does it mean to spend uninterrupted time with God? What do you do with the time?

Ask God to lead the way. What do you feel prompted to do after you’ve asked God to lead the way?

  • Read your Bible
  • Read a book
  • Color
  • Sit
  • Walk
  • Knit
  • Cross Stitch
  • Pray
  • Journal
  • Rest
  • Something else?

There are many things you could do during silent time with God. The important thing is to ask Him and let Him lead.

Don’t come into silence with an agenda of what you want to do or get done. Let Him lead the way. 

Both times I’ve attended Awaken Silent Retreats, God has brought my attention to His beautiful creation. I’m not an outdoorsy type usually. I think this is God’s way of slowing me down, bringing me into being present, and reminding me of who’s I am.

There’s more of my Silent Retreat experience to unpack. Stay tuned for next week’s installment!

Silent Retreat 2025: Personal Wellbeing

A few months ago, I wrote about my first experience attending Awaken Silent Retreat, posts linked here and here.

And only 5 months later, I attended again. This time on my birthday weekend!

The Silent Retreat was in a different location this time. It was hosted at Shepherd of the Ozarks (SOTO), located in the heart of the Ozark mountains in Harriett, Arkansas.

The total drive for me was around 8 hours from Houston, Texas to Harriett, Arkansas.

I had never been to the Ozark Mountains before. It is beautiful! The last hour of the drive was breathtaking! It reminded me of the Smoky Mountains.

When I arrived, I parked and unloaded my car only to reload my things into a truck. The truck would cross the creek and take me the remaining distance to the cabin.

The creek crossing reminded me of the creek you cross going to J.P. Coleman State Park. My Iuka, Mississippi friends will know what I mean.

But the creek at SOTO was much larger and required a 4-wheel drive vehicle.

The weather forecast was looking like a lot of rain. What we didn’t know is that there would be record breaking rain that weekend.

Silent Retreat 2025: Personal Wellbeing

After unloading our things, we settled into the kitchen where a meal had thoughtfully been prepared for all of us.

As you can see from the photo, there were 19 ladies in attendance.

The cabin was gigantic, about 7,600 square feet. It was 3 levels with numerous bedrooms. Plenty of room to spread out both in the cabin and on the front and back porches.

All during dinner, there was talking and conversation. After dinner, we gathered in the living area. Danielle led us in worship songs and scripture. She guided us in an exercise to use our holy imagination that prepared our minds for the weekend of silence.

Then, with our phones turned into Danielle, we shifted into silence.

When I returned to my room, I was met with interesting visitors in the bathroom. Not 1, not 2, but 3 wasps were in my bathroom! I had to summon help from Danielle to get rid of them.

The wasps would prove to be interesting violators of my silent weekend.

It rained, thundered, and lightened much of the night. As the day broke, so did the weather. Many of the ladies were going outside to explore the outdoors. It was beautiful scenery at SOTO. I had heard some of them talk about a prayer walk the night before. The hike had signs with scripture prompts along the path. This is where I wanted to go.

I packed up my journal and pen in my bag. Grabbed a coffee to go and set out to find this path. I found the prayer walk and started to doubt if I should continue. Since it had been raining the night prior, it was muddy and where the path began, it was steep. I hesitated, but decided to at least go a little ways before giving up.

My next hurdle was wooden planks that served as bridges without hand rails over shallow ravines. When stepping on the wooden planks, they bowed under my weight. I must have stepped forward and stepped backward at least 3 or 4 times.

I was out of my comfort zone. And then I laughed at myself, “says the girl that drove 8 hours alone to be at a silent retreat.”

This gave me gusto to cross the plank quickly only to be met with a second plank to cross. I didn’t hesitate as much with this one.

I came to the first scripture prompt, Psalms 96, a psalm of praise. It seemed so appropriate given the beautiful mountains and the gurgling creek below me. I sat in silence and read the scripture through again and enjoyed the sights of the beautiful landscape.

The next scripture prompt on the path was Psalms 32:1-7, a psalm of confession.

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.”

I was struck with how the verse spoke to me. If I hide and keep sin in my life a secret, I will waste away. Sin is detrimental physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The part about “your hand was heavy upon me” says to me that your conscious is speaking about the sin. Sin preoccupies our lives and takes our strength. The relief from the bind of sin is to confess it to the Lord.

This was an humbling experience on the prayer path…to sit in silence and to sit with truth.

I continued on the path only to come to another crossing. The path continued on the other side of the creek. I was wearing tennis shoes and given the rain the night before, the creek was high.

I decided I would not cross. Instead I found a makeshift perch on a rock and decided to sit and take in God’s beauty He created.

Because I did not have my phone or camera, my journal and pen served to capture the beauty.

It’s easy to forget to use all our senses when we experience something. We carry these mini computers with us all day, i.e. phones. It’s easy to snap a photo, but what else other than the visual did you experience?

Writing down what I was seeing, hearing, and feeling helped me capture the moment and embed it in my mind. Here’s what I wrote:

“Water gurgling and bubbling. Water falling that sounds like water filling up a bathtub. Very vibrant greens from the moss on the sides of the trees and rocks to the grass and buds on awakening trees from their winter’s nap. The simplicity of beauty. The grass, the trees, the moss, and the water doing nothing other than what they were designed to do. No rush, no busy, just being what they are supposed to be. They are all enough, more than enough. Flowing water around the bend and out of sight. Not in a hurry, but a constant flow. Roots that create the perfect natural stair steps to the water. Lavender flowers. Are those weeds? Does it matter? I’ve never seen this place. It feels like a gift from God as I journeyed to spend uninterrupted time with Him. The temperature is perfect. Not hot, not cold. Mossy, velvet carpet. Soft to the touch. And purple flowers popping out here and there among the fresh greenery.”

If you’ve been reading my blog, you may find that I write often about silence and stillness. Silence and stillness are tools. They are spiritual disciplines. They are practices to have greater personal wellbeing.

Our modern world is noisy and busy.

What are you missing by getting swept away in the constant demand on your time and the distractions?

What if you carved out time for silence and stillness? What do you think would happen?

Maybe you’d notice and experience the world around you like I experienced being in the mountains and by the creek.

Maybe you’d experience all of your senses.

Maybe you’d be aware of more.

Many think that silence is taking things away, like your phone and distractions. While that’s true, what’s also true is thinking about what silence could give you/add back instead.

Stay tuned! Next week, I’ll continue writing about my experience with a Silent Retreat weekend.

Finding 1 Hour for Silence Each Week

Finding 1 Hour of Silence Each Week

This week, I listened to another great podcast. It was an interview conducted by Ken Coleman with Carlos Whittaker in the Front Row Seat podcast, linked here.

Highly recommend a listen!

The reason I listened wasn’t because I knew who Carlos Whittaker was. I didn’t. Rather, it was the title of the interview, Simple Daily Habits to Get Years of Your Life Back. My interest was piqued.

Who doesn’t want more time back in your life?

This conversation would be about Carlos’ journey with the amount of time spent on his phone.

He was spending 7 hours a day on his phone. Calculate that out…that’s 49 hours a week! That’s a full-time job! In his calculations, he discovered that maintaining this rate would lead to spending 10 years of his remaining life on his phone!

We can all be convicted about how much screen time we have each day. I know I can. My current rate is around 4 hours a day. I’d like to improve this to no more than 3 hours a day, maybe even less.

What is your daily screen time rate?

Carlos shares the extreme measures he took to re-center and reconnect his life. This includes living with monks and then an Amish family for a while!

As the interview progressed, Carlos recommended that everyone find one (1) hour each week for total silence. He gave the example of finding a park bench and sitting there with no phone. Take nothing to read. Just sit in silence. One (1) hour each week, that’s it.

He re-discovered, when he put his phone down, how much we’ve lost the art to wonder and be curious when we can Google the answer to any question in a split second. We’ve forgotten how to notice and be aware because our phones have all our attention.

I’m also a big believer in silence and stillness. I was excited that Carlos encouraged this practice!

When I share that I have attended 2 silent retreats, people often look at me like I’m crazy. But, what I have found is that silence and stillness are tools for navigating the modern world. The modern world is never quiet.

You can watch a video I made about attending Awaken Silent Retreat here.

We weren’t designed to consume so much information or to be available to everyone all the time.

The question to ask yourself is, “What am I missing?”

What are you missing by never allowing yourself a moment of

  • reflection
  • silence
  • wonder
  • curiosity?

What are you missing by allowing your phone to have all your attention?

What are you missing by filling every second with something?

What would happen if you had that 1 hour of silence every week?

What might be available for you in the hour of silence?

The truth is you don’t know until you try it. You won’t know until you try it as a practice.

Prompt: Try practicing 1 hour of silence each week for a month. Then, re-evaluate.

After listening to the podcast, I went for a walk. I walk every evening in my neighborhood.

I decided to bring my phone, but keep it in my pocket.

Notifications off.

No listening to music.

No listening to a podcast.

No talking on the phone.

No texting.

Just walk and silence.

What I found was that my mind was going 90 miles an hour. I was thinking about ALL the things I wanted to get done or needed to get done. I was making a to do list in my mind.

But after 15 minutes of walking in silence, my mind got quieter. And by the end of the walk, my to do list wasn’t important. I had downshifted.

I noticed a beautiful home for sale in my neighborhood. I also observed wild ducks perched in trees and even on top of roofs.

What would I have missed if I continued to use my phone while on my walk instead of choosing silence?

I would have missed the chance to downshift from my busy day.

I would have missed the chance to let the to-do list float away.

I would have missed smiling at the silly, wild ducks on top of roofs.

I would have missed a chance to allow myself to relax.

Our world is filled with distractions. The world is not going to allow you to not be distracted.

That’s your choice. You get to choose.

You get to decide on electing a little bit of silence in your life instead of more distraction.

If this is a goal you’d like to incorporate in your life. I can help with that!

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