Perspective | Perspective Confessions

Video Testimonial for Awaken Silent Retreat

Last week, I wrote a post about attending Awaken Silent Retreat in November 2024. If reading a testimonial isn’t your thing, I have a video testimonial for you instead! Watch now!

Exodus 14:14 – The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.

Psalms 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God.

By the way, I get questions all the time about my lashes. This is my secret.

What do you think about getting away to a silent retreat? Or starting with a couple of minutes of silence in your daily life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silence and Stillness: Tools for a Noisy, Modern World

This article was originally published in Tish Co News.

What is a Silent Retreat?

In November 2024, I drove all the way to Higden, Arkansas for a silent retreat hosted by Awaken Silent Retreat. Silent retreat = no talking and silent rest. Practicing silence means turning off and putting away all distractions. This helps us to better hear from God and the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It’s a spiritual discipline. It’s also a practice of being with yourself and hearing your own thoughts and voice. It’s a practice of resting. I’ve been practicing silence and stillness for a few years, read about it here.

How to Know if You Are a Good Candidate for a Silent Retreat?

How often are you quiet during the day? How often do you truly rest? When you lay down at night, is this the first time that you are quiet with no distractions? Does your mind spring to life with thoughts and worries? Yep, mine too. This means I’m not allowing time in the day, to think, to pray, or to process. In fact, I often work hard to keep from having to think, process, or feel because it seems overwhelming. It takes a lot of energy to keep pushing things down or away. This might be why feeling tired and overwhelmed are commonplace these days. We aren’t allowing space to just be; to be a human being instead of a human doing. When I first heard about this silent retreat, it was on a podcast, Prosperity with Purpose. The podcaster, Jessica Hefley, had recently attended. They had many wonderful things to say about it, and I immediately wanted to experience it too. She described it as a way to eliminate distraction, crowds, and hurry which stands between us and peace. These are tools the enemy uses to keep us separated from God.

Jesus spoke to his disciples in Mark 6:31a. He said, “Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

I didn’t know much about this retreat. However, I trusted Jessica Hefley’s review on her podcast, Silent Retreat to 10x Your Life. So, I sought it out, signed up, and prepared myself to drive 7 hours to attend. That’s a key indicator that I was craving peace and rest. The drive wasn’t difficult at all. Much of the travel was familiar to me. This is because we usually travel through Arkansas on our way home to Iuka, MS.

Silent Retreat Experience

Once I arrived, I was greeted by Danielle, who was leading us that weekend. It was going to be a small group, only 5 of us. After introductions, we ate dinner all while still talking and getting to know one another. Then, we gathered in the living room. Danielle led us in a few songs of worship. She prepared our minds with scripture and then we closed with prayer. We turned off our phones and turned them in for the weekend, and we shifted into silence. Each of us had our own bedrooms and I quickly retired to mine. I was tired from the day’s drive. My usual routine for bed is watching TV and being on my phone. I had neither and I slept 8 hours that night! When I awoke and emerged from my room, breakfast had already been made. I took my coffee outside on the deck and then proceeded down to the lake shore to explore. I noticed deer and dog prints in the mud and the small, smooth rocks along the shore. I sat on top of a big rock overlooking the lake. Fishermen in boats would wave as they passed by. There was an island directly across from shore and kayaks could be used to get there. One of the ladies from the retreat had struck out on an island adventure. She was braver than I. I wandered back up to the cabin. I really didn’t want to read a book while I was at the retreat. I wanted to be silent and hear from God. My mind was not cooperating. I remembered Danielle’s prompting that sometimes it’s better to focus your mind on a book. I pulled from the library the one she recommended, “Living Fearlessly” by Jamie Winship. The book was incredibly helpful with prayer prompts and encouragement for listening for God’s voice. The book recommended to pray and write down what you hear or sense from God. Looking up from the book, I found myself noticing the leaves drop from the trees. This is what I wrote in my journal:

“Methodical drops. Not one leaf in a hurry, making its decent gracefully with swoops and spins. Not to be rushed. The leaves fall joyfully. The season changing and the leaves don’t try to stay. When it’s their time to go, they let go and fall freely. Not a worry or bother. They are doing what they are supposed to do. No argument, only a delightful freefall to make a crunchy carpet on the ground.”

Later, my attention was brought to the squirrels. I wrote about them, too:

“Scampering squirrels. Jumping from one branch to another. They must weigh a few ounces because the branches barely move under their weight. Back and forth they scale at least 15 trees. Never a misstep. They are skilled tree climbers and jumpers. Never needing the ground to get to where they are going, instead they navigate tree city. Scampering to gather food for the day. Methodically searching for the day’s allotment. They don’t spin or toll. They know they will be provided for; their creator provides for them.”

That evening, I found another big rock to perch upon with a blanket and watched over the lake. I loved seeing all nature’s details. The vibrant green weeds against the stark contrast of the rust brown rocks, the dormant gray trees and grass. The white and yellow flowers on the weeds. I was still and silent with no distractions. Because of this, I noticed all the landscape colors. I slept for 9 hours that night. We remained silent until 10:00 am on Sunday for a total of 40 hours of silence. After we broke our silence, Danielle led us with worship songs and scripture. We each shared what our experience had been. God met each of us right where we needed Him…all in unique and different ways. For me, it was God bringing me into the present to notice the leaves, the squirrels, and the color palette along the shoreline. My mind is usually so distracted with worries that it’s hard to be present. All in all, it was an absolute wonderful experience and I already went back for another one this April! (I’ll write about that experience soon too!)

Silence is an Neglected Gift

Our world is filled with distractions. Unless we are intentional with who and what is gaining our attention, the distractions will win every time. The silent retreat was a way to encourage me to find pockets of time to be silent. To put away the phone, take a walk in nature, and be silent and still. Silence is rare and an often-neglected gift.

7 Ways That Aging Has Surprised Me

This article originally published in Tish Co News.

1. Aging Skin

April is my birth month, and another year has come and gone. As I’ve advanced to my early 40’s, I’m reflecting on the ways that aging has surprised me such as how quickly my skin has changed. Even the skin on my hands. It is thinner, dryer with more wrinkles. I remember as a little girl one of my favorite things to do was to play with the skin on the back of my grandmother’s (Grannie Bea) hand. I was fascinated that if I pinched and pulled it up that it would stay there even after I let go. I would repeat that same pinch, pull, release over and over. I didn’t know or think about why that happened. I didn’t understand that as we age skin loses its elasticity and is the cause for the thing that fascinated me in my childhood. When I perform the pinch, pull, release test on my hand, it moves back into place quickly. For now, my skin’s elasticity is still in check.

Tip: I recently started using this body lotion on my hands and arms and wow! The skin on the back of my hands looks and feels amazing! It really tones and has hydration that lasts.

2. Wrinkles and Gravity

Looking in the mirror, my face looks different, too. I admit that I’m guilty of pulling up the skin at my hairline to better understand the subtle work of gravity and time. In my mind’s eye I’m still 20-something years old and that’s the expectation when I see a photo or myself in the mirror. On the flip side, crow’s feet around my eyes means a life filled with laughter and smiles. The “11” lines between my eyes and forehead lines might mean stress and tension, but it also means the blessing of a job that challenges and grows me; it means friends and family that I love yet worry about too, it means life’s hardships that have shaped me, humbled me, and increased my character. Wrinkles are little marks of history our skin.

Tip: A few products I use to help with the aging process:

Lash Boost: A true eye opener with long lashes.

Multi-Function Eye Cream: To improve the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles, sagging, and crow’s feet around the eyes.

Active Hydration Bright Eye Complex: For brightening, hydration around the eyes, and targets the signs of stress and fatigue.

3. Health

Gone are the days that I worry about numbers on a scale or the size of the jeans I fit into. Instead, the numbers I’m concerned about are my cholesterol, blood pressure, A1C, glucose numbers, and hormone levels. Health doesn’t equate into a certain look anymore (although that’s a nice byproduct). Health these days is about quality of life. Exercising to sustain muscle mass, which is so important as we age, being able to move around and be as active as I want to be chasing and picking up grandchildren. Being healthy from the inside out. Keeping my weight in check is an uphill battle; gaining weight in places I’d never gained before even though this is the healthiest I’ve eaten in my life! Little did I know how much hormones play into weight gain! If you haven’t had them checked, I’d highly recommend it. That’s for guys and girls!

4. Career

A couple of years ago, I joined a Peer Mentoring Circle at work. I joined thinking I’d like help growing my career. I wanted to be mentored. Once I got to my first meeting, I realized I was one of 2 employees in my circle with the most years with Chevron. This year marks 14 years with my company. It was a shocking turn of the tables to be one of the older and more experienced in the room. I’ve taken that perspective forward now knowing I have a lot I’ve learned along the way and can share with others to help them navigate their career. I didn’t realize I’d entered mid-career because I still feel like I’m in my early career (I’m 20-something in my mind 😉 ). Aging means experience and that’s invaluable.

5. Grief

I’ve now lived 18 years without my mom. I look back to 2007 and reflect on how young I was when she passed, 25 years old. My stepson is 25. To look at him as a reference point of the age I was when I lost my mom is surreal. At 25, you don’t have much life experience or life context in which to measure or compare big life events. I don’t know that I could have known or understood the loss in its entirety. Grief is funny that way. It doesn’t end, although it changes over time. I’m surprised at the ways it’s different now that I’m older; the years having created distance. I know that I’ve missed having a mother’s support in my life. I don’t know what that would have been like to have it, but I know it’s something that’s missing all the same. You can read more about my mom in this post, Remembering Beyond Loss.

6. Confidence

As I reflect on my younger years, I’m thinking about how I wish I’d enjoyed life more, but I was too caught up with anxiety and worry. Fast forward a couple of decades later, I know myself better, I know my beliefs, I’m much more comfortable in my own skin and I wouldn’t trade it to be younger again. I understand more and more the adage, “youth is wasted on the young” because my oh my what I would do with youth now with the knowledge I have gained with aging.

7. Wisdom

Each year grants the opportunity to be wiser and gain more perspective on this short life. I can appreciate having more experiences to draw from and I am thankful for getting older. I’m grateful for the maturity and wisdom that aging brings. The wisdom and blessings that are received can be given away to others. I’ve been blessed with time to make mistakes and learn from them. The years we’ve lived is an investment. We often think about investments in the form of financial. Time is a priceless investment. What reflections do you have as your birthday draws near? What have you learned and what will you do differently? How will you make the most of another birthday? What does aging well mean to you?

What is Perspective Confessions?

Hi! I’m Carlynn creator of Perspective Confessions. Welcome! I’m so glad you are here! The idea of Perspective Confessions was born in 2015. Writing has been a practice in my life starting in grade school and it made sense to create Perspective Confessions to be able to share articles, journal entries, musings, etc. about topics such as career, financial health, and overall wellbeing with all of you. When I write, I am able to connect with myself, unearth hidden truths much more easily than when I’m talking to a friend. Did you know that truth telling = confession? To confess is to tell the truth. Most, if not all of us, don’t stay connected to ourselves all the time. Our lives are filled with distractions and it takes work to get connected back up with yourself to understand how you might feel about something, know what decision to make, or to get connected to what’s true. Writing helps me do all those things. At some point, the writings in my journal shifted from writing just for myself to writing so that others could read it too. The truths that I’ve unearthed for myself I want to share it more broadly because my words might be the words that someone else needs, can relate to, and/or help them think about a situation from a different perspective. By the way, the quote below is from an amazing book, Living Fearless by Jamie Winship. Highly recommend!

“Truth always sets you free. Hiding truth always makes you a slave. If you will not tell the truth, you’re in bondage to the lie, the deception, and the rationalization.” – Living Fearless by Jamie Winship

Coach

As my professional life has advanced, I received my Financial Coaching certification and in my full-time Corporate America job, I am a Leadership Coach. You can learn more about financial health here, and you can read more about my experience with coaching in this post. Whether it be with writing or working one on one with others, the commonality is that I enjoy helping and connecting with people.

Career Confessions

Before I was able to climb the corporate ladder, I struggled mightily. A lot with anxiety. In my mid to late twenties, I went through some big life changes that included moving from a small town to a big city, combating severe anxiety, losing my mom, and divorce. I wrote a full series on my Career Confessions that you can read about here. I share tips about how I found new ways of working with anxiety, shifted my mindset, and slowly climbed the career ladder.

Wellbeing

Yes, writing about all those struggles makes me vulnerable. I hold the belief that we can learn from one another. Sharing helps us not feel alone or like we are the “only ones”. I listened to a podcast a long time ago that said we would not need therapists or counselors if we lived in good, healthy community because that good, healthy community would give us supportive and constructive feedback, come alongside the hard parts of life, share tools to help with life, etc. I believe that is true. The vast majority of us, though, live in isolation especially with today’s technology. And because of that, the need to be mindful and intentional with our wellbeing is paramount.

I’d love it if you’d join me as we learn about career, financial health, and overall wellbeing. Curiosity is key in exploring differing perspectives…zooming out to see the big picture and zooming in to look at things more closely. It’s the push and pull of these vantage points that we can learn the most. Perspective Confessions is the source for inspiration for those who want to learn and grow. I am continually growing and learning; unearthing discoveries, and sharing truth or confessions I’ve learned along with the way from varying perspectives.. Perspective Confessions is about getting to the root of challenges as it relates to career, financial, and overall wellbeing and creating a toolbox of resources from what’s learned to equip you for the next step. If you want tools to manage your career and finances, value slowing down for a better quality of life, and aren’t afraid of being challenged; then you are in the right place.

If you know of someone that:

is struggling with their career,
struggles with anxiety or with big life changes,
wants to get their finances back on track,
wants to find a better balance in their life from the fast track, fast paced life they’re living, please share perspectiveconfessions.com with them!

And by all means, don’t miss any Perspective Confessions posts. Make sure you subscribe!

Part 5: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

This article was originally published in Tishomingo County News, linked here.

If you missed the previous 4 parts of this series, find them here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

At the beginning of this Career Confessions series, I wrote about visiting the Career and College Readiness classes and the football team at Tishomingo County High School (TCHS). That visit has been the inspiration for these articles. Growing up, I never thought about working for a company like Chevron. Honestly, I’m not sure I knew what Chevron was when I was in high school other than as a gas station. There isn’t much oil and gas activity in Iuka, Mississippi. Because of that, I wanted to share this wonderful company that I have worked with for 14 years. I wanted the students to know that if I could find my way to Chevron, it wasn’t out of their reach either.

My sister and I at Tishomingo County High School

The students and I discussed economics at a high level. Oil and gas are commodities and are publicly traded on the open market. The market sets the price along with other global economies. Since many of these students drive, they understood the price of gas when filling up their cars. We talked through a recent big change in prices at the pump and how the pandemic impacted supply and demand. Demand dropped dramatically when the world shut down. Supply was in excess for the demand which drove down the price of gas. As the world opened again, demand increases but supply lags since it had been reduced to meet low demand during the pandemic. This caused prices to increase. This happened in many industries and many products because of the pandemic.

Because Chevron is an Energy Company, I shared with the students about Chevron’s mission to provide affordable, reliable and ever-cleaner energy to the world. Chevron recently created Chevron New Energies, a section of the company that is investing in products to advance a lower carbon future, such as carbon capture and hydrogen. This part of the company is where an entrepreneurial spirit is encouraged because these projects are forging pathways in the energy transition. What a great place for outside the box thinkers and problem solvers. It was important to share with TCHS students the many opportunities within Chevron they may want to consider as they graduate, pursue higher education and/or careers.

As described in previous articles, my career journey has been multifaceted, and I think that’s an accurate description of my career within Chevron too. I began working at Chevron in late 2011 after obtaining a job with a staffing agency. This job was a Technical Assistant with major capital projects. I became a Chevron employee in 2013, this time as a Senior Administrator to a General Manager named Dave. Dave was and still is my favorite manager. Dave had high expectations for his department including myself. It felt, at times, higher than what I was capable. He challenged and mentored me to being a better employee. But most importantly, Dave cared about his employees. Dave gave me a great start to my career at Chevron. Chevron’s tagline is Human Energy meaning Chevron is successful because of its people. Dave is one example of working alongside some of the best and brightest.

For the first 7 years at Chevron, I was a trusted advisor and support to several General Managers. None of those jobs required me to have a college education. Not to say it didn’t help me, but it wasn’t mandatory. That’s another relevant point I wanted to make to the students at TCHS. Don’t let perceptions hold you back. Make the most of every job, even if you are only in supportive roles. I’ve had some of the most incredible experiences. For example, I’ve attended weekly meetings with executives and their leadership teams (this is the epitome of learning from the best and brightest); I’ve flown on Chevron’s corporate jet several times to Midland, TX; and I’ve also travelled on Chevron business to Calgary, Alberta Canada; Covington, Louisiana; and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I’ve had a bird’s eye view of business strategy, worked on diverse teams, problem solved and executed projects. It has been exciting, challenging, competitive, exhilarating, and has grown me to new levels. My experience at Chevron has been incredible! I am so thankful for all the opportunities and excited for the future.

Because the Energy industry is driven by market prices and global economies, that means I have also faced market downturns in my career. At the publication of this post on my blog, I’m currently facing a restructuring of the company. This could be viewed as a negative, but I view it as an opportunity. These downturns have created movement in my career to gain exposure and experience in other parts of Chevron’s business and I wouldn’t trade any of it. Context is everything and hindsight too. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything and emphasize to the students at TCHS, it would be, “What appears to be a challenge very well could be an opportunity. Don’t discount your job title. You can make it what you want. Don’t be afraid to ask for and explore new opportunities. Own your career.”

So, what happens next? Only 1 article left! Next week I’ll wrap up this series. Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the last story of this Career Confessions series from a small-town girl in the big city.

Part 4: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

This article was originally published in the Tishomingo County News, linked here.

If you missed parts 1 – 3, find them linked here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

The downsides to working with Downtown Paws were twofold; working outside also meant working in the rain and I was alone all day. While I processed my mother’s death, I think being alone was good. There came a time, however, that I needed to be around people, and I was ready for a new challenge. After some job applications and interviews, I received a position with the church I was attending, West Houston Church of Christ (WHCC). This job meant I would be back in an office setting. Was I nervous? Yes! Did I think things were going to be different this time? I wasn’t sure. This was somewhere familiar and with people I knew, so it seemed less threatening. This job was the Administrative Assistant to the Senior Minister. He was relatively low maintenance, and my main responsibilities were found in creating weekly and quarterly publications; event planning; database management; etc. I was able to lean into my creative and analytical skillsets in this job and it came with a pay increase.

I think it’s important to pause here and note that some people know exactly who and what they want to be when they grow up. I admire these people who know their strengths and relentlessly pursue them. For me, though, it wasn’t about what or who I wanted to be. I was still trying to figure out how to survive. I was still trying to manage this anxiety and I hadn’t had enough space from it to know if the worst were behind me. If I could characterize my career journey to this point it would be like a map. My map was really hard to read and had many, many detours because of construction. I was building something. It was painfully slow, brick by brick.

I was holding my breath those first couple of weeks at WHCC…not sure if I would sink or swim. The familiarity of the place and people helped. I know, I know, when you think about working at a church, you probably think a very small office and older employees. These assumptions would be incorrect. The office staff was made up of 12 employees. Almost half the staff, including myself, were in their mid to late 20’s. But everyone was young at heart, especially Andy who was always so positive, happy and randomly bursting out in song. He was the worship minister. Mary was extremely kind to me with the loss of my mom and she became like a second mom. Shawn, she became my best friend. James and Tim were supportive and encouraging. We all were a great team. We worked hard and had fun too. I worked at WHCC for 3 years.

Something in me had shifted after my mom’s death. She had been very sick with diabetes that led to kidney failure. She had congestive heart failure among other ailments. I wanted to honor my mom’s memory by taking better care of my health. That led to joining the YMCA which coincidentally was only a block from WHCC. Going to fitness classes became my favorite pastime. Pro tip: exercise is GREAT for anxiety! It only took one kickboxing class taught by Misty and I was hooked. Misty became my personal trainer for a while. One day she asked me, “Why don’t you become a fitness instructor? You’d be great at it.” The thought never crossed my mind, but the seed was planted. With Misty’s help, I studied and became a certified fitness instructor. Not only was I working full time at WHCC, now I was teaching up to 10 classes a week and I loved every minute of it!

The anxiety of working in an office setting was subsiding. I was building more confidence and self-esteem by teaching and helping others become better versions of themselves. I had the best, most fun students. The best compliment I have ever received was being nicknamed “Coach”. Who would have ever thought this shy, small-town girl would be leading boot camp, kickboxing, weight training classes, and getting paid to do it? Certainly not me.

Context is everything and hindsight too. When I reflect on how I got to this point in my story, it’s not nearly as much about me as it is about the people that walked beside me at the right times just as God intended. The ones that held up a mirror to reflect back to me my strengths and talents. Without those people, I wouldn’t have had courage or recognized my strengths. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be, “Don’t discount the people along your journey. Listen to them. Believe them when they tell you that you are good at something. Don’t be afraid to lean on people. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. God has a plan for you.”

Remember what I referenced in Part 3? The ebbs and flows of life and even if professional success is happening, it doesn’t always bleed over into personal success. What many didn’t know was my marriage was on the rocks. Things may have looked great on the outside, but they weren’t on the inside. My marriage would eventually end. This would be the third major life event which would forge a path to Corporate America.

So, what happens next? How did I move forward? Only 2 articles left! Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story in part 5 of this career series from a small-town girl in the big city.

Career Confessions From a Small Town Girl in the Big City: Part 1

This article was originally published in Tishomingo County News. See link for published article.

Early in 2022, I visited my alma mater, Tishomingo County High School, to speak to the Career and College Readiness classes and to the football team. The football coach during that time had created a wonderful program to bring back alumni of Tishomingo County High School to speak to students, share their career journey, work skills, and life tidbits. It was called Wednesday #ROW Above the Line Character Education and Real Talk. It was an absolute honor to be invited to participate.

I had lots to share being a shy girl that moved to the big city. And let me tell you, I did not have a career trajectory when I moved to the big city. Nope, not at all. I wanted to share my story with students at Tish County. I wanted to share my messy path to the career I have now. If I’d had someone share with me back when I was in high school that life doesn’t always look the way you think it will, that it’s ok to make mistakes, to figure it out one step at a time; then maybe I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself. Spoiler alert, I wouldn’t change anything about my messy path because it got me to where I am now.

In fact, in 2006 I moved to Houston the day after graduating from Mississippi State University with an undergraduate degree in Finance. I was not recruited by a company in Houston and the real reason I moved so suddenly was because I was married to someone that had a job offer in Houston. I followed, obviously, however his success with a career did not measure up to the opportunities I had. Nope, in fact, I STRUGGLED mightily to find my way, or to even find a job. I stopped counting the job applications after I surpassed 100. No calls, no emails…crickets. I knew no one, had no contacts, nothing. I think a lot of people might find themselves in a similar place. You have a college degree or experience and yet no job offer, not real leads, nada.

So what did I do? I started with what I could find…a temp job which was a receptionist in downtown Houston in one of those gigantic skyscrapers. I remember it so vividly and don’t even know how I had the gumption and fortitude to ride a metro bus into downtown, walk to the right building, and then find my way to the appropriate floor. I remember my job was to answer the phone and connect the calls to the right people. The calls that came in were from people that had foreign accents, asking for people that I didn’t know how to pronounce their names. I asked the people on the phone to repeat themselves quite often and prayed as I connected the calls. I began to sweat at the front desk from the pressure of the phone ringing. I survived, though, even if the temp job only lasted a couple of days. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything, it would be, “there’s no pressure with a temp job that’s only 2 days in length. Relax! You are doing great!”

I found another job shortly thereafter, this time working at a staffing agency. I worked closely with a girl named Courtney. We were about the same age, our birthdays were both in April, and she attended Ole Miss for about a year. Small world and I was so glad to find someone with a Mississippi connection. I made it about 2 weeks in that job. I didn’t get fired, I quit. Why would I do such a thing? I struggled so much after I moved. I began having what I now know were anxiety attacks. Not being able to breath, crying uncontrollably, unable to calm myself. It was horrible and I quit my job. I was incredibly embarrassed and my already fragile self esteem took a major hit. The worst of it all was I felt like I let down my new friend, Courtney. I couldn’t find the words to tell her what was going on and I left without an explanation. I still feel terrible about it to this day. I felt like something was wrong with me and like I was a failure which only pushed me further into the anxiety.

Context is everything and so is hindsight. Looking back and reflecting has helped me understand that the only way I was going to get through that horrible time was to walk through it as hard as it was and as much as I felt like I wasn’t going to make it. Putting one foot in front of the other and yes, sometimes taking two or three steps backward. I needed to give myself some time to adjust to the big life change of uprooting myself from everything I’d ever known. And yet I needed to work and make money. Life doesn’t stop and neither do the bills! They weren’t going to pay for themselves. What did I do next? Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story as this is the first part in a career series from a small town girl in the big city.

Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City: Introduction

In 2022, I wrote a series about my career journey for Tish County News. The series was inspired by an invitation. I was invited to speak to the Career and College Readiness classes and to the football team at my alma mater, Tishomingo County High School. The message I wanted to convey to those high school students wasn’t about my job and current life. It was about the journey that it had taken to get there. I was not and still do not have a high profile job or career. My life after high school took some ups and downs and winding roads. I wish someone could have given me the 30,000 foot view when I was in high school because I was experiencing it all at ground zero. It would have been helpful to have insights and perspectives along my journey after high school. The invitation to speak to high school students was a chance to fill in the gap I wish I’d had. Writing this series was another opportunity. I hope you will follow along for the next several weeks as the story unfolds. There will be tips and tidbits shared as I look back with the wisdom that only hindsight can bring. I’ll share what I would tell my younger self. Back then, I struggled with extreme anxiety. I had low self-esteem and low confidence. At times, I felt altogether lost. I walked through big life events like my mom’s passing, divorce, and multiple job changes. Now is a great time to subscribe if you haven’t done so yet. Don’t miss this series! It’s packed full of actionable insight no matter where you are along your career journey.

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Intentionally Aware

Our modern world 🌎 is so fast paced. The expectations are right here, right now, and on demand. Today’s modern life depicts that we can have anything and everything at the touch of a button 🔘. Consider Netflix with endless streaming options; or Amazon with a conveyor belt of products to your front door 🚪 with what your heart desires. Consider DoorDash making food options seem endless and easy. What’s wrong with having options at the touch of a button? On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with it. However, there’s a better question to ask instead: What are we missing?

How much time ⏱️ do you spend deciding what to watch on your streaming service? So. Many. Options. Anxiety creeps in about picking the wrong show or movie to watch because there might be something better if I just keep looking 👀. How much time do you spend binge watching a series? Has that box popped up on the screen asking “Are you still watching?” because the same show is still playing after watching 3 episodes. What are we missing?

Time. ⌛️

Time scrolling through too many options. Hours spent watching episode after episode. What else could you do with that time? Read a book, learn a new skill, study for a class, practice a hobby, pray, hang out with a friend or your spouse, volunteer. Are we intentionally making the decision of how we want to spend our time? Or are we allowing our time to slip away? ⌛️

What about shopping online with a business like Amazon? What are we missing?

Delayed gratification. Money. Social interactions.

Amazon is like a genie in a bottle. Make a wish for a product and it arrives lickity split except for that whole exchange of money 💵 thing. 2️⃣0️⃣ years ago, if I wanted a new shirt, I would have to plan when I would drive to the nearest mall. The next thought would be checking to see if there was a sale happening soon so my hard-earned money 💵 stretched further. I might have planned to go with a friend to make it a more enjoyable experience. 2️⃣0️⃣ years ago, I would intentionally plan when I would shop, how I would spend my money, and who I would bring along with me. All the planning and thought also meant I was delaying my gratification of getting a shirt right away. We say “no” to our children because it’s not healthy to have a piece of candy anytime they want it. Are we saying “n”o to ourselves often enough to ensure we have a healthy delayed gratification muscle? 💪

What about a service like DoorDash? What are we missing?

Cooking skills. Health. Money. Family heritage.

Beyond the excessive expense of the service, fast and processed food 🍕has eroded our health. Our bodies need nutrient dense foods 🥗. If we cooked more often at home, we would have better control of the ingredients we are putting in our bodies to nourish them well. Developing cooking skills are being limited by allowing restaurants to do it instead. Cooking is a major life and survival skill. There’s no need to be a Chef, however, everyone needs to know their way around a kitchen, how to plan a meal, and know where ingredients are in the grocery 🛒 store. What about your grandmother’s recipes 📝, something your mom or aunt always made? Is it possible that family heritage is slipping away without the knowledge, practice, and cooking skills to keep them going? Regardless, you are paying a hefty price 💲 for convenience.

Don’t get me wrong. I have a Netflix subscription, an Amazon Prime account, and I have DoorDashed on a rare occasion. These options aren’t wrong, however, it is VERY easy to slip into living your life on auto pilot. The endless scrolling, buying, and eating out because it’s easy. There’s a price 💲 to pay for convenience. There’s always a price!

One very valid argument is our busy, hectic schedules demand that we continue moving at lightening ⚡️ speed. I agree, our schedules aren’t slowing down and I would suggest using these options as measured 📏 conveniences. Measure them by being intentionally aware. Be intentional when you need to use them. Be intentional in the money 💵 you spend on convenience. Be intentional in what you are trading for your time ⌛️. Be intentional of how your decisions are impacting your health 🩺. Don’t lose yourself in the haze of busy and put your brain 🧠 on autopilot. Live the life you have to the fullest and intentionally choose what works best for you. Let’s be aware of what modern conveniences provide, how they can make our lives easier, and let’s also consider what we are missing or giving up by using them. Be intentionally intentional with your time ⌛️, money 💵, and health 🩺.

Mississippi Girl

Small Town Girl in the Big City

Article originally published in Tish Co News, linked here.

“You can take the girl out of the small town, but you can’t take the small town out of the girl.” True story when it comes to this small town girl. I moved away from Iuka, Mississippi in 2002 to go to school at Mississippi State University and had no idea that it was a foreshadowing of a much bigger move in 2006 to the big city of Houston, Texas. Moving to such a big city was a culture shock and even though I’ve lived in Houston for 19 years now, my heart still yearns for the slower pace of the small town life.

Work brought me to Houston all those years ago. Anytime I run across someone in Texas with Mississippi roots or someone comments on my southern twang, I light up to talk about where I was born and raised. Mississippi is at my heart, a part of who I am at my core. Texans who have travelled through Mississippi have commented to me that “the trees are so tall in Mississippi”. I never noticed the contrast in tree heights until said co-workers marveled at the difference from Texas to Mississippi. And I hurriedly chime in to tell them the other differences between these two places.

Any car you pass in my small hometown, the driver waves acknowledgment as you drive past. Concrete stretches for eternity in Houston, but back home in the ‘Sip, rolling hills, green pastures dotted with cows and horses, rows of soybeans, corn, and other crops are the eternity stretcher. Somehow words lengthen and shorten all at once with a southern twang accent, which only highlights the character of this place. Mississippi is always depicted as hot and humid in movies where the characters glisten with sweat. That isn’t wrong necessarily, but hello we have air conditioning! In Houston, neighbors live 5 feet away from your front door, but in the ‘Sip there might be a field between neighbors.

I travel back to Iuka 1-2 times a year to visit my family. I find that it takes me a few days to downshift from the fast pace of corporate America and city life. Every time I come home, I always leave with a greater appreciation. That’s the blessing of coming home, seeing the differing perspectives of where I currently live and contrasting it with my hometown. It’s not only about who is around the table with you sharing a meal, but the hands that made the homemade dishes. Who made the jelly or jam or canned vegetables and it’s all different names. It’s a community nourishing each other’s tables and families. Iuka and small towns like it have a sense of community that isn’t found easily in the big city. In fact, I would say that Houston might be one of the hardest cities to find community. Everyone is so spread out and traffic makes it challenging to get across town to a friend’s home. A 30 minute drive in Houston doesn’t equal 30 miles…more like 30 minutes equals 10 miles on a good day. And when I go to the grocery store in Houston, I never see anyone I know…which is sometimes a good thing, because I don’t have to worry about makeup, or fixing my hair or care what I’m wearing. It’s far from the truth in Iuka where you shop with all your friends and it’s a rare occurrence to not run into someone you know.

Mississippi will never be just a place on a map to me. It will always mean home. Mississippi built me. I once was on a phone call with a Midland, Texas based co-worker. During the conversation I mentioned I was from Mississippi and said, “like many southern women, I am thoughtful, sweet and hospitable, however, there’s a flip side of being a southern woman who can also be assertive when need be”. I think I scared the man on the other end of the phone call because he asked, “should I be concerned?” I laughed and told him, “no, sir, not at the moment.”

All kidding and jokes aside, one of my greatest strengths in my career is the ability to not only work with many types and levels of people, but to really connect with them. If I trace this strength back to where it comes from, it would be what I learned growing up in my small hometown. Authenticity, humility, grace, manners, shaking hands and looking people in the eyes when speaking are uncommon these days. But I know a place where it still stands true and that place is my home town, Iuka, Mississippi. I might live 12 driving hours away, but my heart never left…it’s right where it belongs. The small town will always be in this girl.

Category: Perspective

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