Unlocking the Power of Optimism for a Better Life

Unlocking the Power of Optimism for a Better Life

It’s no surprise that we live in a world where bad things happen. Especially if you watch the news. It can be quite depressing. It can leave us feeling pessimistic and “waiting for the next shoe to drop” so to speak.

What if you could flip the pessimism on it’s head and be more optimistic? Have you ever wondered the impact that optimism could bring to your life? Optimism might not be what you think it is.

In fact, what words or phrases come to mind when you hear the word optimistic?

  • Sunshine and rainbows
  • Rose colored glasses
  • Always happy

What about words like:

  • Successful outcomes?
  • Confidence?
  • Positivity?
  • Hopefulness?

Or phrases like:

  • Make lemonade out of life’s lemons, or
  • The glass is half full

The reality is that optimism is not all sunshine and rainbows. It’s not looking at the world through rose colored glasses either. Optimists are actually quite realistic. And just because you are an optimist, it doesn’t mean you are always happy. Nor does it mean that if you are happy, you are an optimist.

Optimism is, however, the focus of successful outcomes. It is having confidence, positivity, and hopefulness. It’s more than just being positive; it’s having a bright outlook on your future and doing what you can to make your situation better.

Optimisim is having a state of positive beliefs. Optimism is the tendency to notice and expect the positive, focus on what you can control, and take purposeful action. It is how we interpret and perceive the world around us and it’s about the action we take.

There is scientific studies on optimism. It’s been proven that it’s a cornerstone of wellbeing.

Science has also proven that optimistic people are:

  • more resilient
  • more productive, high performing
  • less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and burnout
  • goal setters and planners
  • more hopeful for the future.

They:

  • believe they control the direction of their lives
  • are better able to cope and recover after set-backs
  • are healthier and recover faster.

How do you cultivate optimism for your wellbeing?

When a challenge arises, do you expect the negative or expect the positive? Our brains are wired to look for what we believe. I

f you believe that you won’t achieve a goal, you are correct. Your brain will look for evidence to support that belief.

The opposite is also true. If you believe in a positive outcome, you are correct. Your brain will look for evidence to support that belief.

When a challenge arises, do you see a threat or an opportunity? Are you passive when a challenge arises or do you accept and control what you can?

Do you ruminate on the negatives of a challenge or do you focus on solutions? Do you avoid or take purposeful action? Do you isolate or hide when challenges arise or do you reach out for help?

If we are truthful, I’d imagine that we could fall on the spectrum of low or high optimism depending on the day or the circumstance. We are human after all. Optimism doesn’t mean you can’t be upset if things fall apart or get offtrack. However, it is a belief that you can make your situation better. It’s the realistic viewpoint that if everything falls apart, we get to choose how we pick it back up again.

How can you learn to be more optimistic?

First, we are aware of our thought tendencies. Then, we reframe from a pessimistic viewpoint to an optimistic thought process. It’s an intentional decision to fix the negatives and more forward…positively move forward.

Here’s your call to action.

  1. Think about 1 challenge that you’ve faced this year.
  2. What happened?
  3. How did you overcome it or pivot?
  4. What did you learn that you can apply to future, unknown challenges?

We move at lightening speed in our lives. It’s so easy to overcome or accomplish a goal and swiftly move on to the next thing. Taking a moment of reflection is important to realize how far you’ve com and how you navigated challenges.

Those reflections could help you flex your optimism muscle for future challenges.

Changing Seasons, A Rejuvenation

Changing Seasons, A Rejuvenation

A touch of crispness in the air.

That was what I felt a couple of weeks ago. The windows in the kitchen were open, and the air just felt different. Which, in turn, made me feel different.

A good different. It’s an excitement for something new. The hot, long days are turning into cooler, shorter days.

It’s a gentle awakening of my senses with the slight shifts in temperatures and the days becoming shorter.

The mornings feel ever so slightly cooler.

It’s rare in Houston, Texas, especially in September. Honestly, we don’t have much seasonal change. We have mostly summer and then a snippet of winter. Then it’s right back to summer again.

The turning from summer to fall also means:

  • football
  • pumpkins
  • pumpkin spice
  • changing leaves
  • hunting season
  • sweater weather
  • boots
  • sunsets and sun rises at different times, which make the days feel like a new experience.

When the seasons start to change, for me, it is an expectancy of welcome change.

To me, changing seasons help me have an awareness of God’s wonder…of His creation.

It helps me notice nature; to be in awe of His majesty. Read more about this at my first experience at a Silent Retreat.

Recently, I was sitting in my office, I was bathed in sunlight and warmth. I was aware of the season slowly shifting from summer to fall-ish days.

The sun has begun rising later which means brighter sun in my office. It was dancing in delight across the floor and my desk. It felt warm against my arm and face.

These are the simple and magical fleeting moments of life that remind me to be thankful. Thankful for the beauty of changing seasons.

It rejuvenates and awakens my senses because it feels and looks different. When everyday feels like the same, such as the heat of Texas summer, it’s easy to take each day for granted. But, when the air is crisper, the sun rises later, it causes me to pause and take it all in. To enjoy it.

A few years ago, when looking out my patio door, I saw a curious sight. It was something I remember seeing as a little girl back home in Mississippi, but hadn’t seen one in Houston.

Perched on the side of a pine tree in my backyard was a Polyphemus moth. These creatures are very large. Their wingspan can be close to 7 inches!

Needless to say, this moth was hard to miss. I walked outside, crouched down to get a closer look, and check out this moth. It was beautiful!

For some reason, I felt that God had shared this piece of His creation with me on that fall day. To give me pause, to notice, to look, and to admire the beauty.

I somehow also knew the sight of this moth was signaling a seasonal change. The end of summer and the close of this moth’s season too.

Seasonal changes can be hard since it also signals simultaneously a beginning and an end.

Annie F. Downs, an author and podcaster I enjoy, has dedicated a full year to exploring the seasonal changes. She examines how these changes parallel with seasonal changes of life.

She created the Seasons Guidebook to help you dive deeper into the spiritual themes of winter, spring, summer, and fall. You can listen to all the Seasons podcasts, linked here.

As the days get shorter, the air becomes cooler, and the leaves change their colors…I hope and wish that it would cause you to notice.

I hope you pause.

Enjoy it.

Be thankful.

Be grateful.

Be glad.

Let the shift awaken your senses and admire God’s creativity.

Slow down and take it all in.

A Story About Joe – Family, Values & Principles

A Story About Joe - Family, Values & Principles

My Dad and Uncle’s first cousins grew up in close proximity to one another in Kossuth, MS. Their physical proximity was simply an outward representation of their relational closeness. And still is today.

Even though life has taken them to places like Nashville, TN; Sikeston, MO; Tyler, TX; Corinth, MS; and Kossuth, MS to name several. They all still stay in touch.

They gather together at least once a year. Texting and calling, too, to stay connected. And when they are gathered together under one roof, it’s like they’ve never missed a beat!

I’ve had the privilege to be in the room with them several times as an adult. It’s always a treasure. They are a fun group! They pick on each other, laugh, and share stories about the mischief of growing up. I love the insights I get about my Dad from their stories. I also enjoy hearing about my family, about where I come from, and about my roots.

They have a tradition of going to Canton, TX for the first Monday flea market in the fall. My Uncle has planned the once a year gathering for many years. They rent a big van, meet up in Corinth, all pile in, and make the ~8 hour trip to Canton for a weekend.

Read another story from their 1st Monday flea market trip here!

This flea market is something to experience. It’s acres upon acres of flea market finds. Jeff and I have even joined them a time or two.

Last May, I went home to Iuka, Mississippi for a quick weekend to celebrate my grandmother’s, Grannie King’s, birthday. She was turning 96 and my Dad and Uncle had summoned the family together to celebrate.

Once we were all settled into the living room after birthday food and cake, the story telling began again. One story has stuck with me since then.

Joe Garrett told a story about a time he was going to get a custom suit made. When the quote came back for the suit, it was going to cost him $750. He declined it and went on his way.

He explained to us in the room that is wasn’t because he couldn’t have afforded it. He replied in his easy going way, “I could buy each one of you a suit at that price.”

He went on to connect the principle of not buying the suit to a childhood memory. He had grown up poor. Anything he had was marked by hard labor, such as cutting ditch banks down by hand with a kaiser blade. He earned just twenty-five cents an hour under the hot sun for his work.

“When that’s where you came from, you know how hard and how long you have to work to buy a $750 suit. Then, you decide if its worth it or not.” Joe explained.

Those long days had shaped his view of money, work, and what really mattered. Spending that much on a suit simply didn’t sit right with the boy who once worked for quarters an hour.

This story impacted me. It’s such a stark contrast to today’s world. New gadgets, clothes, and luxuries are purchased almost without a second thought—Joe’s decision felt almost radical.

We live in a culture of consumerism, where society measures success by what we own. Many people have forgotten what a dollar really represents and how hard it was to earn. But Joe hadn’t forgotten. He carried those ditch-bank days with him, and they guided his choices.

Joe’s restraint wasn’t about deprivation. It was about wisdom. Remembering where he came from and those principles guiding him. He didn’t need possessions to prove his success. Joe was always the same person and a steady constant.

And as I remember him, I’m reflecting on my life and the principles that I have learned through hard times. Am I letting the world change me? Do I value what I already have, or am I always reaching for more? Do I pause to consider the story behind each dollar, or do I spend without thought? What I know about Joe’s life reminds me to slow down, to choose gratitude over more stuff, and to remember that true wealth has nothing to do with what we own.

Joe’s story is a reminder that true wealth isn’t about what we can buy, but about living with values that are priceless.

A Prayer of Lament When Life is Overwhelming

A Prayer of Lament When Life is Overwhelming

We often find ourselves in the middle of anxiety, constant busyness, and the weight of everyday life. It’s not always easy to find the words to describe what we are feeling.

This is the video version of my personal Psalm of Lament—a cry out to God in the chaos. I wrote about it recently, linked here. If a 90 second video is more your speed than reading, I’ve got you covered. Just press play below.

If you’ve ever felt weary, anxious, or overwhelmed, may these words give voice to what your heart longs to say.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to know—feel free to share your own words of lament in the comments.

A Personal Psalm of Lament

A Personal Psalm of Lament

For a little more than a year, I volunteered with Seek and Find studies.

Two incredibly smart and gifted ladies, Summer and Christi, write the Bible studies and we attend the same church. Their goal is to put the Bible back in Bible studies.

My volunteering with Seek and Find Studies centered around writing (surprise) 🙂 and creating social media content.

I really enjoyed the volunteer work. In fact, it showed and reminded me of the talents God has given me.

Seek and Find studies gave me a way to utilize those talents. Which led me back here to perspectiveconfessions.com to dust off my blog and begin writing consistently.

One of the Bible studies is about the book of Psalms. Through this Bible study, I learned there are different types of psalms, such as psalms of:

  • Praise
  • Lament
  • Gratitude
  • Repentance
  • Wisdom

If you study psalms of lament in the Bible, you will find that there are 4 common elements:

  • a call for help
  • a lament
  • a petition
  • words of praise

Lament is an expression of profound sorrow, pain, or confusion.

In our world today, there are many things to lament about. Things that we feel are not in our control.

Psalms of lament express deep human affliction. They encourage us to call on the Lord in the midst of our struggles and teach us how to lament. Yes, we can read and study psalms of lament already written, such as Psalms 22.

We can also write our own psalms of lament.

I wrote a lament based upon a prompt while working through the Bible study.

Here is my version:

Why, God, do I lie awake at night tormented by fearful thoughts? The most worrisome and terrifying thoughts creep into my mind when the lights turn out, the sun sleeps and the house becomes quiet…that’s when my mind springs awake.

All corners of fear that can be pushed aside or buried in the daylight spring forth in new, vengeful life in the darkness.

Where are you? Lord, where is your light in the darkness? Don’t you see me? Don’t you hear my prayers to make it stop?

My mind, body, and soul is tired from the day’s grind.

Rushing, anywhere and everywhere.

Every waking moment filled with work, meetings, appointments, FaceTime, Zoom calls, endless and incessant social media scrolling, family, friends, traffic, errands, text messages, phone calls, notifications, emails, instant messages, children, grandchildren, church, studies, events, sports, on demand streaming.

Not all of these are bad, there is goodness in them, but not all at once and all the time.

I am poured out all the time and yet consuming all the time.

Consuming the emptiness of the busyness of instantaneous, on demand life that commands my attention to the right now and over here and what about this?!

Everything and nothing is what life demands and gives.

So much so that I don’t even know who I am or who you are, Lord.

I lie awake at night with tormenting thoughts because I’ve not given myself any time or space to process, rest, recharge, or center and ground myself in you, God.

I’m reminded of Psalms 23. You provide rest and everything I need.

You restore.

You are good, God, so, so good.

Help me find a different rhythm founded upon you.

You truly do fill up my empty being.

Grant me wisdom to discern life giving and life taking tasks.

Give me the discipline to go against the flow of the world.

Thank you for the rest, restoration, and reconciliation that you give freely to those looking and asking you for it.

Lord, I am looking and asking!

Amen.

Feelings and Resiliency

Feelings and Resiliency

My full time job has been marked with lots of feelings this year.

My company has had 15 – 20% headcount reductions (read as layoffs).

I was in the first round of reductions. Thankfully, I am still gainfully employed.

That is not true for many people, including the team I was a part for the last 2 years.

My former team’s positions were eliminated entirely. At the end of the first round, 2 teammates elected to retire or voluntarily leave; 4 were left standing (meaning they were laid off); and 3 of us were placed in other positions.

How rapidly it all happened was shocking. One day we were a team and the next I would not see some of my team members anymore.

Corporate world can be and is brutal. I’ve personally experienced headcount reductions 4 times in my 14 year career so far. I’m certain there will be more.

Beginning at the end of 2024, my team and others began preparing employees for what was coming.

The uncertainty that lingers for months in advance of knowing if you have a job or not is stressful!

We lean on tools to strengthen our resiliency during these times. These tools equip us for what will ultimately come. They remind us to be flexible and lean into strengths. Focus on what we can control and loosen our grip on what we cannot.

They are good reminders during this time. And while these tools don’t take away the hardship of enduring one of these reductions, it can help shift our mindset..

In February of 2025, I gave a presentation about Feelings and Resilience. Here is what I shared.

Referring to the Feeling Wheel, if you had to name the feeling(s) you have right now, what would it be?

Are you surprised that there are so many feelings? And yet, they can connect back to 6 core feelings.

What feelings do you tend to ignore?

Do you think it’s possible to ignore “bad” feelings and only experience “good” feelings? Why or why not?

Early this year, I finished reading Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

What I didn’t know before I read the book was how much resiliency is incorporated into imperfection.

Brene writes, when we become more accepting of uncomfortable feelings, we become more flexible and can enjoy life more fully even with feelings of discomfort.

In her book she notes:

  • Shame, guilt, fear, despair, disappointment, and sadness are difficult feelings that tend to cause vunerability, discomfort, and pain.
  • The most powerful feelings we experience have very sharp points, like the tip of a thorn.
  • Which usually leads to modes of distraction to get away from the uncomfortable feelings. Such as…mindless scrolling, eating, drinking, shopping, staying busy, work, choas, etc.

Everyone moves away from feelings of discomfort.

We also must remember that we cannot selectively ignore feelings.

“When we numb the dark, we numb the light.”

We can’t make a list of “bad” feelings and say, “I’m going to ignore these” and then list the positive feelings and say, “I’m going to fully engage in these!”

It doesn’t work that way.

Let’s explore the feeling of Joy.

To love and/or believe in something with your whole heart; to engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees…these involve the risk of vulnerability and often pain.

AND

Great joy can come from them.

Feelings of hopelessness, fear, blame, pain, discomfort, vulnerability, and disconnection sabotage our resilience and well being.

The only experience broad and fierce enough to combat a list like that is the belief that we’re all in this together and that something greater than ourselves has the capacity to bring love and compassion into our lives.

Practicing spirituality is what brings about healing and creates resilience.

Spirituality is being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.

Here is an example of the ways I’ve leaned into my spirituality practice.

Having a sense of purpose, meaning, and perspective in our lives allows us to develop understanding and move forward. Without purpose, meaning, and perspective, it is easy to lose hope, numb our emotions, or become overwhelmed by our circumstances.

We feel reduced, less capable, and lost in the face of struggle. The heart of spirituality is connection and through that, we won’t feel alone.

How do you know that you are ignoring uncomfortable feelings?

Recognizing and leaning into (not away) from discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace.

We live in a both/and world.

We can experience discomfort and joy. They are not mutually exclusive.

When you have the awareness, what can you do to practice leaning into the discomfort?

How can you lean into the discomfort of vulnerability and let joy in as well?

Exercise Prompt:

Hold up both hands, palms up and open. Can you practice holding the feelings of discomfort in one hand and the “good” feelings in the other hand? In fact, write on one open palm your feelings of discomfort and then write the “good” feelings on the other open palm. Practicing holding and experiencing both.

An Overlooked Tool for Leaders

An Overlooked Tool for Leaders

Are you a leader of people?

Are you an influential leader? Influential doesn’t always mean you have direct reports. It means you collaborate with and guide others toward outcomes, often without formal authority. This ability to influence is essential for moving initiatives forward and being successful in your role.

Hint: we are all influential leaders!

This applies in the workplace, in your community, and at home. For example, parents—especially of teenagers—quickly learn that influence is far more powerful than control. The same principle applies to managers, project leads, and peers working across departments.

Too often we think leadership means being “the one in charge” with a team reporting to you. In reality, the most effective leaders know that influence, not control, is what drives collaboration, innovation, and long-term results.

One area all leaders have in common is working with people. Whether it’s direct reports or those you’re influencing to move initiatives and projects forward, managing and influencing people is a complex skill set—one you learn and refine over time.

Leaders are not mind readers. People are many shades of gray, shaped by their unique experiences, perspectives, and stories.

Every individual sees the world through their own lens, influenced by both their career and personal life. Effective leaders embrace this complexity and work to understand, adapt, and connect.

Leadership can also reach frustration and overwhelm quickly.

With constant technological change, leaders are stretched thin—running from meeting to meeting while processing an overwhelming amount of information.

The human mind was not designed to handle this relentless pace with clarity.

In such a fast-paced world, we’ve lost the art of slowing down. Reflection has become a forgotten tool.

Slowing down can feel archaic when demands push us to go faster and faster.

But the question remains: What are we missing by moving so fast? How would you even know what’s slipping past you when life is lived at lightning speed?

One underutilized tool for leaders is keeping a journal. Not typing notes into a phone or laptop—but physically writing in a journal with a physical pen and paper.

The physical act of writing slows down the mind automatically.

It creates space for reflection, and helps leaders process their experiences, challenges, and decisions in a deeper way.

It allows leaders to know and understand their unique perspectives. Which in turn will enhance their decision making every day.

A leader’s unique perspective is the source of creativity and competitive advantage.

In today’s AI world, tapping into creativity and having a competitive advantage is paramount.

Without slowing down and using journaling as a tool, we lose the art of listening to ourselves and our innate wisdom.

How do you create a discipline of journaling?

  1. Don’t over complicate it!
  2. Buy a journal.
  3. Set aside 15 minutes of uninterrupted time either at the beginning or end of your day to journal.
  4. Block that time on your calendar!
  5. Close your computer.
  6. Silence your notifications on your phone.
  7. Set a timer for 15 minutes.
  8. Write.

“Ok, great”, you might say. “But, what in the world do I write about? Especially when this feels like a weird, new thing to do?”

Great question!

Journal Prompts for Leaders.

Pick one to get started. What you journal about could either be personal or professional.

  1. What has been at the forefront of my mind today?
  2. What is keeping me up at night?
  3. What has been a common theme this week/last week?
  4. What are my priorities? Do those priorities stack up against the work I’m doing and meetings I’m attending?
  5. What needs to change?
  6. What am I missing?
  7. What is a circular thought pattern I’m having that I can’t find a solution?

Bonus Tips:

  1. Let yourself write whatever comes to mind.
  2. Do not have an agenda.
  3. No judgements in what you write about or don’t write about.
  4. Let the writing flow.
  5. Don’t be surprised if you start writing about one topic and you finish on another topic.
  6. Trust the process.
  7. Trust that whatever you write down is exactly what needed to be written and reflected upon.
  8. You just might surprise yourself.

Asking ourselves questions and slowing down to reflect brings us back to what is meaningful, what we believe in, and overall gives us purpose.

And if leaders reconnect to their purpose, that purpose will flow through them to those they influence. <– this is motivating and inspiring! It will have a ripple effect on your team and those you work alongside.

And all of this is a great ROI!

Challenge: Commit to journaling 15 minutes everyday for a month. Then, reflect on how it helped and enhanced your leadership.

In a world where we feel like we can’t slow down, it’s often exactly what leaders need.

For more reasons to journal, check this blog post: 12 Reasons to Keep a Journal

How to Save Your First $1,000 Emergency Fund

How To Save Your First $1,000 Emergency Fund

Before aggressively paying down debt, it’s smart to build a small emergency fund. This $1,000 acts as a financial safety net. It protects your goals when life throws the unexpected your way, like a car repair or medical bill. With this cushion, you can handle surprises without derailing your progress.

Check out my recent personal story and why I was so thankful we had our emergency fund in place.

Why $1,000?

It’s enough to cover most small emergencies, giving you breathing room and reducing the temptation to reach for credit cards or loans.

3 Ways to Save Your First $1,000 Emergency Fund

1. Cut Back on Expenses:

  • Skip eating out for a month — potential savings: $250–$500
  • Have a “no spend” month (necessities only) — potential savings: $150–$250
  • Pause online shopping — potential savings: $200+
  • Discontinue subscriptions (streaming, etc.) — potential savings: $90 – $100

2. Side Hustle for Extra Cash:

  • Babysitting — $15–$20/hour
  • Dog walking — $15–$25/hour
  • Rideshare driving — $18–$25/hour
  • Freelance work (writing, design, admin) — $20–$40/hour
  • Grocery or food delivery — $15–$25/hour

3. Sell Stuff You Don’t Use:

  • Host a garage sale — potential earnings: $200–$500
  • Sell on Facebook Marketplace — potential earnings: $50–$300
  • List items on eBay or Poshmark — potential earnings: $50–$200

Putting It All Together:
Combine strategies — cut back spending, pick up a short-term side hustle, and sell unused items. You could reach your $1,000 goal in as little as 4–6 weeks.

Bottom Line:
Your first $1,000 emergency fund is your buffer between life’s surprises and your financial goals. Build it fast — and watch your confidence grow as you tackle your debt next. This will build momentum as you tackle your next financial goal!

Emergency Funds: Why is it Important & How Much is Enough?

Emergency Funds: Why is it Important & How Much is Enough?

Life happens, right?

It happened to us recently. A few Sundays ago, I was in the bathroom getting ready.

My husband, Jeff, was in the attic. Some of you are already anticipating what I’m going to tell you. 🫣

He was in the attic inspecting how much electrical wire we had to complete a project.

His footsteps sounded hard and loud!

Then, a very loud crack, crash, and I came running out of the bathroom into the bedroom to see what in the world was happening.

It sounded like the house was falling in.

And it kinda did…Jeff fell through the ceiling of our bedroom.

Lovely.

He wasn’t hurt. Thank goodness!

He was able to catch himself before his whole body came through the ceiling.

The damage was done. A Jeff sized hole in the ceiling of our bedroom.

Of course, Jeff was leaving for a work trip the next day too. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Emergency Funds: Why is it Important & How Much is Enough?

We managed to get the hole covered with plywood, a trash bag, and tarp before he left for his trip.

My biggest concern while he was gone is I didn’t want the heat coming into the house from the attic. Hello late June in Houston = HOT! And I didn’t want any critters crawling in from the attic either!

A few weeks later, we were able to get someone to come and patch it for us.

Why an Emergency Fund?

Accidents happen as does life stuff, right? This is a great example!

This made me so thankful for our emergency fund that we have in place. Which meant, other than the inconvenience, we didn’t have to worry about it. We had the money to have it fixed. Cost and labor was about $350.

This is not a brag post about our emergency fund. This is a post to ask, “are you prepared financially when accidents and life happen?”

I’m pretty sure you’ve experienced a car breakdown, a flat tire, the kitchen sink leaking, a toilet overflows, the dryer goes out, etc. Feel free to add to this list.

When these things happen, they are ALWAYS inconvenient.

If you put space between yourself and the life happens stuff, it will only ever be an inconvenience.

The space or distance you create between yourself and the life stuff is called an emergency fund.

You can also think of an emergency fund as protection from life stuff.

How Much is Enough in an Emergency Fund?

Everyone should have, at minimum, $1,000 in an emergency fund.

This is true if you are a college student or someone that has a full time job and is working toward financial goals, such as paying off debt.

Now, if you have no consumer debt (no car, student loan, credit card, etc.), then the next step would be to grow your emergency fund to 3 – 6 months worth of expenses.

How much is 3 – 6 months worth of expenses? Great question!

Your budget would be a great tool to help you find your living expenses. How much are you spending to live each month?

These expenses would include:

  • Rent or mortgage payments
  • Utilities – water, gas, electricity, internet, phone
  • Transportation costs – gas, tolls, etc.
  • Food – groceries, not restaurants
  • Insurance – car, house, renters’, etc.
  • Medical expenses – copays, prescriptions, etc.
  • Pet expenses – food, medical, etc.

Imagine you just lost your job. What do you do? How are you going to live?

I recently went through an organizational restructure in the company in which I work full-time.

Fortunately, I have a job now. However, many of my teammates were laid off. What do you do in those circumstances?

One way to prepare is to have 3 – 6 months worth of expenses saved to help create space or protection between you, your family, and a major life event… like job loss.

This will give you room to breathe and time to find your next job.

Life stuff happens. It’s not fair when it does.

But, you know it will happen, so there is no reason to delay getting an emergency fund started if you don’t already have one.

Tip: Emergency fund money should be in its own separate savings account. Do not include in your checking account.

Next week, let’s talk about ways to save your first $1,000 in your emergency fund.

Silent Retreat 2025: Table Exercise

Silent Retreat 2025: Table Exercise

If you haven’t read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 yet of the Silent Retreat 2025 series, see links for the full story. 

The final morning of the retreat, Danielle was the first up to make breakfast for all of us.

As the cabin slowly began waking up, each of us wandered to the kitchen. We were still in silence. Some ate breakfast at the long kitchen table. Others took their breakfast on the back porch or in the living room. 

I pulled up a chair facing the window, ate my breakfast, and continued reading my Living Fearless book until time to meet in the living room. This gathering would indicate our coming out of silence.

Danielle led us in songs of praise and scripture. Then the focus is back to us and she asks who would like to share how God met us in our silence.

It’s not a requirement to share. It’s an invitation with what you feel comfortable sharing.

Each woman’s experience was unique. Each was tender, sweet, and sometimes heartbreaking too. Life stuff that needed to surface in the slowing down and silence so God could tenderly be near and have the opportunity to love, care, and begin the healing. 

I decided to share something I wrote which was prompted at the very beginning of silence.

Rewind back to the first night. Danielle prompted us to take part in an exercise using our holy imaginations.

What is holy imagination? God created you after His own image. God has an incredible imagination. Have you enjoyed a painted sky at sunset or sunrise? What about a giraffe or zebra? Then, you have experienced His imagination in creation. I think He may have a sense of humor too.

God created your imagination also. With His Spirit living within us, we are capable of using our holy imaginations while asking Him to guide us.

That first night, Danielle prompted us to close our eyes and imagine a table. What does the table look like? How many chairs? Where is the table? Is there a distinct scent or smell? 

You are at the table and Jesus appears too. Where are you sitting? Where is Jesus sitting? What does Jesus look like?

Jesus asks you if there’s something of value you’d like to give Him. What is it? What do you have to give Jesus?

What happens when you give it to Him?

Jesus also has something to give to you. What does He have for you? What happens when He gives it to you?

Do you have a conversation with Jesus? What does He say to you? What do you say to Him?

Below is my result of the exercise and what I shared with the ladies as part of my experience with God during that weekend.

Circle table. Where? No characteristics to the room. Only 2 chairs. No distinct smell. What am I holding that is of value to give to Jesus? 

Control.

Jesus sits down directly across from me. 

What does He look like?

He looks kind. Long hair. Beard. Gentle smile.

“Is there something you’d like to give me?” He asks. A gentle question.

My eyes immediately fill with tears and the tears fall from my face to the table.

I know He’s asking for something that is not and was never mine. And yet it’s something I hold onto so tightly because it feels like I am in control. 

I get to make decisions. I get to choose where my life goes next.

The control I have to give Him is lies.

It’s a lie I’ve believed in for so long so I could feel safety and security. 

It’s all an illusion.

Jesus knows this and He knows I’m coming to that conclusion too.

“What would you like to give me?” He gently asks again.

“Control,” I reply with an emotion filled voice and tear filled eyes.

The control I have is represented as a hand-sized white orb that glows.

I take it from my lap and put it on the table. I stare at it scared to let it go because it represents that I can control my fears. 

And if I don’t have it, what then? Am I doomed? Will I disappear? Will I survive? What will become of me?

I look across the table to Jesus with tears running down my face.

“I know,” He whispers. 

His eyes are kind and compassionate. He extends His arms across the table to meet me in my dilemma. 

Again, an invitation.

This gives me a bit more courage to push the white orb of control to the middle of the table where Jesus’ hands are.

It’s only then that I notice His hands. They are large, masculine yet soft. They remind me of my Dad’s hands. Then, I remember that my Dad was made in His image too.

I see the scars on His hands and a new wave of emotion strikes me.

Jesus did not control the cruxifixction. He asked God to “let this cup pass from me”. There was no other way and He let His Father’s will be done. 

He chose to not control. He surrendered. 

Jesus knows the temptation to control and how hard it is to surrender.

Even though the white, glowing orb of control is now in the middle of the table, I have not let go of it yet.

Jesus’ hands are open to receive and I open mine to release, to let go…

The white orb rolls into His hands. He pulls it into Himself and it’s gone. 

His hands come back to meet mine. “I know how hard that was,” he says. 

“You were holding onto something that was not real, something that the harder you gripped it, the more life it took from you.”

“Now, your hands are open and ready to receive the gifts and blessings I have for you instead. Now, you can carry me with you to combat the fears, the hardships, the scary things in your life. You can grip and hold onto me as tightly as you’d like. I am not going anywhere. I am with you always. I have always been with you. With the relinquishment of control, you have made room for me.”

“I am real. I am truth. You traded what is false for what is true. How much better is that? Do not grieve letting go of lies. Stand firm in truth. You are my daughter. I know your heart and I love you,” Jesus says to me. 

What do you have that is valuable to you to give to Jesus today? What do you think He has for you?

Lead the way, Lord. Amen.

Perspective Confessions

Discovering grounded truths in an uprooted world

Skip to content ↓