Too Much Stuff, Too Little Energy: The Rule of 5

Too Much Stuff, Too Little Energy: The Rule of 5

There are seasons when motivation is high and energy feels abundant. And then there are seasons when everything feels heavy—when feeling overwhelmed at home creeps in and even the smallest tasks feel bigger than they should.

This post is for those seasons.

After Christmas this year, I noticed something shift in me. While I was (and still am) genuinely thankful and grateful for the gifts I received, I also felt more overwhelmed in my home than usual. More items. More things to find space for. More decisions.

It wasn’t that the gifts were unwanted—it was that they were more. And that feeling became a signal.

A signal that it might be time to reassess how manageable my home felt. A signal that some organizing and simplifying was needed to decrease the overwhelm. And maybe, down the road, it’s also a signal that our family may need to rethink how we approach Christmas and gift-giving altogether—but that’s a reflection for another blog post and another time.

What I knew for certain was this: I needed a gentle way to move forward.

Several years ago, I had faced a similar feeling while staring at the pile of mail on my kitchen island. You know the one—bills, junk mail, notes, random papers that don’t have an immediate home. It had quietly become the catch-all, and every time I looked at it, I felt behind.

I wanted it gone—but I didn’t have the energy for a full overhaul.

So I made a rule.

I call it The Rule of 5.

The rule is simple: remove five items.

That’s it.

Five pieces of mail. Five decisions. Five small actions. They could be thrown away, filed, or placed where they actually belonged. No sorting marathon. No perfection required. Just five.

At most, it took about five minutes.

feeling overwhelmed at home

There was one important addition to the rule, though. Since mail comes daily, I also had to make sure new mail didn’t undo the progress. That meant immediately throwing away junk mail or filing important pieces instead of letting them land back on the pile.

What surprised me was how quickly the stack disappeared.

Not because I tackled it all at once—but because small, consistent steps quietly did their work. Before long, the pile wasn’t an issue anymore.

That experience taught me something important:
small steps don’t just create progress—they create momentum.

Now, I use the Rule of 5 in other areas of my home.

Recently, I opened a bathroom drawer that had slowly become overwhelming. You know the kind—the one you open carefully because you’re not sure what might spill out. Instead of shutting it and walking away, I applied the same rule.

I removed five things.

A couple of items—nice hair ties—went into a box for an upcoming garage sale. The remaining three items were either thrown away or put somewhere else in the bathroom where they made more sense.

That’s it. Five things.

The drawer isn’t perfect yet. But it’s more manageable. And more importantly, I started.

That’s the beauty of the Rule of 5. It lowers the barrier to entry. It doesn’t demand motivation—it creates it. Once you see progress, five can turn into ten. Ten into fifteen. Momentum builds not because you forced it, but because progress feels good. And feeling overwhelmed at home decreases.

Over time, this rule helps:

  • bring order to small pockets of your home
  • reduce overwhelm
  • create a sense of capability and follow-through

And maybe most importantly, it reminds us that progress doesn’t have to be loud or dramatic to be real.

If you’re feeling stuck today—overwhelmed by clutter, tasks, or life in general—consider this your permission to start small.

Five items.
Five minutes.
One small win.

Because small steps, repeated over time, really do add up.

What is quietly asking for your attention—not to be fixed all at once, but to be tended to in small, faithful steps?

How We Are Shaped Along the Way 

How We Are Shaped Along The Way

The turn of a new year invites reflection. 

Before we rush into goals, plans, and resolutions, let’s pause…look back with gratitude and look ahead with humility. For me, this past year has been full of learning, both personally and professionally. It’s been a gift to walk alongside friends, family, co-workers, and even acquaintances who are willing to show up honestly through challenges, in celebrating growth, and staying curious about who they’re becoming. 

There’s a Bible verse written that’s been a constant on my whiteboard for the past couple of years: 

“Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” 

Proverbs 27:17

I love this image, and I also think it’s easy to romanticize it. 

Scripture reminds us that transformation often begins in the renewing of our minds. When familiar patterns keep surfacing, it may be God’s invitation to see differently. I shared a reflection on that kind of perspective here

Because iron sharpening iron isn’t gentle. It’s metal against metal. There’s friction. Pressure. Resistance. Sometimes even sparks. Sharpening happens through contact, not comfort—and that means growth can feel uncomfortable, even painful at times. 

And yet, that’s how we grow. 

Growth doesn’t happen in isolation. We are shaped in relationship—through conversation, shared experience, and the willingness to be known. When we allow others to walk alongside us, to challenge us, to speak truth with care, we are sharpened. In turn, we sharpen them. Each of us becoming more refined, more aware, more grounded because we didn’t choose the easy path of staying the same. 

As we step into a new year, none of us really know what lies ahead. We don’t know the challenges or the joys that lie ahead of us in the coming months. What we do know is that we’ll walk through it one day at a time. One conversation. One decision. One foot in front of the other. 

There’s something freeing about remembering that we don’t need the whole year figured out. We only need to be present for today.  To take each day as it comes. To stay open to learning—even when that learning stretches us. To extend grace—to ourselves and to others—especially in the places where growth feels tender. 

Matthew 6:34“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” 

My hope for this new year is simple: that we would continue to grow together. That we would stay grounded. That we would be willing to sharpen and be sharpened—even when it’s uncomfortable. And that we would move forward—steady, intentional, and hopeful—one step at a time. 

Here’s to a new year.  May it be marked not by hurry, but by presence. 
Not by perfection, but by progress. And not by doing it all alone—but together. 

When you look back on 2025, what moments shaped you more than you expected—and what might those moments be quietly teaching you about where you’re headed next? 

Progress Doesn’t Always Equal More 

Progress Doesn't Always Equal More

Earlier this week, Jeff and I set out on a road trip to Iuka, Mississippi, to spend Christmas with my family. As we navigated out of Houston, Texas, we took the 99 East toll road to reach I-59—a route we don’t travel often. Along that stretch of toll road, we were struck by how much construction and how many new buildings were going up. 

What once were open fields and trees are now being cleared to make room for “progress.” Seeing this makes both Jeff and me feel sad. We think about the deer and other wildlife that once lived there, now pushed into smaller and smaller spaces. We also find ourselves wondering: does Houston really need more strip malls, more stores, more retail? It feels unnecessary. Like too much. 

You can feel the stress in the constant push for more. More growth. More expansion. More productivity. It never seems to be enough. That steady chaos creates a life with little room for rest, and over time, it becomes exhausting. 

As we get further away from Houston and closer to Iuka in the 12 hour drive, the landscape begins to change. The land opens up. Houses sit farther back from the road. Fences stretch across fields holding horses or cows. And beyond what I can see, something else shifts—my body begins to relax. My breathing slows. Without realizing it, I’ve been holding tension. 

Jason Shepperd, pastor at Church Project often says, “life is the balance of holding the tension between blessings and burdens.” This may sum up what I’ve been tangibly feeling, holding the tension between blessings and burdens and the big city can often feel tipped toward burdensome for me. 

It’s important to acknowledge that living in a small town doesn’t eliminate stress. People in places like Iuka still work hard, carry responsibilities, and worry about the same things we all do. Life in the United States often feels hurried and demanding, regardless of where you live. 

What feels different is the environment. A slower pace doesn’t demand the same urgency. There are fewer reminders to rush, consume, or compete. Even when life feels overwhelming, the surroundings don’t add another layer of noise. 

I’m not saying one place is better than the other. Cities like Houston offer opportunity and energy. Small towns offer quiet and space. But they ask different things of us, and our bodies seem to know the difference. 

As we near Iuka, my shoulders drop and my breath deepens. The noise fades. Maybe progress doesn’t always mean adding more. Maybe sometimes it looks like slowing down—and remembering that enough really is enough. 

As 2025 comes to a close this week, I encourage you to take a few moments and take inventory of your life. Where can you eliminate hurry and stress for the new year? 

Is it clearing out physical stress in your home, like re-organizing a closet or garage? 

Is it eliminating financial stress by choosing to buy less in the new year? 

Is it taking stock of your relationships? Choosing to spend more time with those that bring you energy versus those that may drain your energy? 

Is it creating a new or improved habit of going to the well of your Heavenly Father, John 4:14? Spending quiet time with Him? Praying more? Reading scripture? 

Is it decluttering your electronic life? Deleting apps? Turning off notifications? Cleaning up your inbox and unsubscribing? 

Or is it something else? 

This is an opportunity to say in 2026, “less is more”. 

For more ideas on creating margin in your life, Finding 1 Hour of Silence Each Week

Conversations with God – Video

Conversations with God - Video

We have so many voices speaking into our lives these days. More than our parents and grandparents because of the social media platforms, the internet, and streaming services, etc, that we have nowadays.

This is the video version of my Conversations with God. I wrote about it recently, linked here. If a 40 second video is more your speed than reading, I’ve got you covered. Just press play below.

If you’ve been feeling disconnected from God recently, take a few moments to ask God, “how do you delight in me?”. Then, listen for His response. How He speaks to you will be unique to you just like it was for me. My cat being brought to my mind was unique and specific in how He spoke to me.

God is listening and He wants to hear from you.

Surrender in Faith- Part 2

Surrender in Faith
Please make sure to read Surrender – Part 1 of this series.

Journal Entry from June 10, 2018

“This has been a very difficult week. I have contemplated my health and body more than ever. I’ve been scared out of my mind, overwhelmed beyond belief and beaten down.

I didn’t know being sick would affect me that way. It has rattled me to my core. When your body decides to rebel against you, it’s unnerving.

The thing that has scared me and continues to scare me is becoming sick and not being able to live life as I once was able to. So much can be taken away so quickly. No warning.

The emotional ramifications of that is profound. In those moments, you realize how much you take for granted all the time.

And you realize just how much you aren’t in control. It’s funny how I believe I’m in control all the time or at least most of the time and the reality is I’ve never been in control. I’ve only conned myself into thinking that. Surrendering is hard. Surrendering my strong-will is hard. And this week I wasn’t left with much of anything but surrender.

What I mean is I found myself alone, struggling to understand even what the meaning of life is, what happiness is, reflecting on how I’ve been living my life, treating my body, caring or not caring for my body, my emotional well-being, utterly overwhelmed and consumed, not able to focus or think or function. Realizing that when you are sick, it’s you and you alone. There’s no other person that can go through it with you. No one else truly knows how you feel. It’s only you. And it leaves you reflecting on your spiritual life, clinging to God because He’s the only one that can go through this with you.

Learning to rely on Him is hard. Surrendering is hard, and I don’t like surrendering. I laugh when I say that because God made me after all! He knows I’m stubborn and strong-willed, not going down without a fight, He knows I’ll get scrappy if needed. 🙂

Maybe surrendering is the strongest thing I can do.

Asking Him to fill me with His peace and joy. (Romans 15:13) I found myself casting out the enemy’s anxiety and fear in Jesus name because my God is bigger than that.

I found myself heavily relying on God to carry me through this. And it’s amazing that at every turn, no matter the progress in recovery I have made, the evil one is standing by interjecting fear and worry at every turn.

The enemy is unrelenting.

I wonder if God gets weary of us and our inability to remain faithful even for a few minutes?

That’s been another prayer of mine as well, “Lord, please help me in my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24) I do believe, but I am weak.

God would show me His healing power by my tongue becoming functional to taste again. My eyelids blinking at the same time, strength coming back to my lips so I could spit toothpaste in the sink from the center of my mouth.

Even in all these ways He’s showing me He’s taking care of me and I still fear and wait anxiously.

Giving it over to Him is hard. All the while knowing He can do so much better at all this than me.

Being sick is scary. Being helpless is frightening.

I have thought about my mom a lot. She was sick for so long and I’m sure she was scared and felt alone.

…help me in my unbelief…

Today, I feel much improved, but anxiety and worry still take up way too many of my thoughts. All craziness. I know this logically, but the fear and worry have another agenda. The enemy’s mind games.

I know my God does not want me to suffer. He does not want me to worry. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:30)

I want to have a closer relationship with Him. One that I can trust and lean upon Him. Surrender to Him.

I want to have close to my heart the knowing that God loves me, He delights in me. I want to put down the knowing that I’ve had in the past. I often see God as disappointed in me, displeased with me. A punishing God because I have not done the things I should.

All of those negative, ugly ways I thought about God, I want to put down.

I want to know Him as my Father who loves me and cares for me and wants the best for me.

He wants me to follow Him, surrender to Him. And I think I’ve been unable to know Him, to follow Him because I’ve been ashamed. Feeling too unworthy to approach Him, unworthy of His love, unworthy to really know Him. Why would God want to know me?

I think it’s easy to believe that when you’re sometimes not seen by those who are closest to you. If you’ve ever experienced someone close to you that seemingly doesn’t openly delight in you or that’s how you’ve interpreted it anyway. You are left feeling unnoticed and unworthy and unimportant. All lies from the devil in association with God.

I pray God’s grace upon my unworthiness. I pray for His help in my surrender to His ways. To lean on Him and not worry. I pray for release from the anxiety, to live in His joy and His freedom. Help me in my unbelief. To be still and know. (Psalm 46:10) To wait because He will fight for me. (Exodus 14:14) His grace and mercy is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God wants me to be happy and live a full life in Him and I should stop living in fear and start doing just that.

His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:30) Lord help me to know that, not just logically but in all ways and to rest in You. (Matthew 11:28)

I was recently reminded of a scene in the movie, The Shack. Have you seen it? If not, I recommend it. It’s a powerful movie.

The scene I’m referring to is the one where Mack, the main character, is in a boat on the lake. Everything seems peaceful and then his mind starts taking him back to a pivotal point in his life. Playing mind games and suddenly the boat begins filling with black water. Mack is panicking!

Then you hear the sound of Jesus’ voice telling Mack he’s ok. Jesus says, “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” “Focus on me,” he says.

When Mack is finally able to raise his eyes to focus on Jesus, the boat returns as it was and Mack is ok.

Click on the link below to watch the scene from The Shack, the first 2:30 minutes.

https://youtu.be/G1OHyINxuRQ

Isn’t that how life is? When we are drowning, we are focusing on the pain and the turmoil.

If we can lift our eyes to focus on Him…know that He’s there and He will never leave.

I struggle to keep my eyes lifted and focused on Him and Bell’s Palsy proved no different.

It’s been 7 years since my bout with Bell’s Palsy.

It often takes going through something to see the beautiful picture that God painted, and how He strengthened my faith. Hardships make our faith strong. “I am made strong in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:5-10)

If you are wrestling with trying times that life has dealt you, I encourage you to lift your eyes and focus on Him as best you can. He’s there and He’s walking beside you.

Surrender – Part 1

Surrender - Part 1

Thursday, May 31, 2018 is the day I woke up like any other day to get ready for work…feed my dog, Sophie Bear, pick out my outfit for the day, shower, dress, fix my hair and brush my teeth.

It wasn’t until I brushed my teeth that I realized something was wrong with my face. I leaned over the sink to spit out the toothpaste and my mouth wouldn’t work right. My lips went sideways, I couldn’t pucker to spit. Weird, I thought. Maybe I did that wrong?

That was my thought. I spit wrong. Even though I’ve been spitting toothpaste in the sink for years. How does someone forget how to spit?!

So, I tried again. Same thing. My lips went sideways, I couldn’t pucker to spit.

That’s when I really examined myself in the mirror. What’s wrong?!?! My heart started beating a little faster and I was becoming more alarmed by the minute.

I, then, realized my left eye wasn’t closing as firmly as my right. I tried squeezing as hard as I could, and the left side wouldn’t squeeze shut.

What.was.wrong?!?!

Stroke was the word that entered my mind.

I flew out of the bathroom to the mirror in the living room and looked there as if I thought changing mirrors would change the function of my face.

I tried puckering my lips and they just looked weird, my pucker wasn’t centered. I looked at my eyes again and tried squeezing them shut. The right eye felt strong and squeezed shut as my muscles commanded it to, the left eye was lacking. I was scared! Jeff and I commute into work together and I told him to go without me, I was going to the Urgent Care.

Bell’s Palsy or a stroke?

Among all the frantic thoughts in my head, thoughts of my mom were there too.

She suffered from having several mini strokes in her last months.

Was this happening to me? What was going on?

When I pulled up to the Urgent Care, of course, they don’t open until 8:00 am and I arrived at 7:15 am. Great! Now I get to sit in my car and let my thoughts swirl in my head about what is happening to me.

Those minutes ticked by so, so slowly. It was excruciating. Finally, the doors opened. When I was signing in at the front desk, the nurse asked me for the symptoms I was experiencing. As soon as I got out of my mouth that the left side of my face wasn’t working right, she immediately sent me to triage.

This only concerned me more and it validated that something was wrong. My body was rebelling against me and it came out of nowhere.

The doctor followed right behind me into triage and ran several physical tests like asking me to squeeze her fingers to check for weakness in my hands and arms.

She asked several questions like did I feel weakness on one side of my body and asking me to repeat phrases.

The only other symptom I had was the left side of my tongue had gone numb the day before. I couldn’t taste on that side, but I didn’t think much of it.

The doctor then told me her diagnosis was Bell’s Palsy.

“Do you know what Bells Palsy is?”, she asked.

“No. Can it be healed?”, I replied in response.

The doctor was very gracious in assuring me she had experienced Bell’s Palsy about 15 years before and often it comes out of nowhere, but it can be caused by a virus that attacks the facial muscles usually on just one side of the face. She urged me, though, to go to an emergency room to get an MRI to rule out the possibility of a stroke.

I left Urgent Care in a daze. I was frantic, heart still racing, yet calm at the same time. Jeff was blowing up my phone, but I didn’t want to talk.

I was trying to process what my body was doing and how I was going to spring into action.

If you know me well, you know I’m a person of action.

I do not take things laying down. I’m proactive to the nth degree.

All that sounds great, the being proactive stuff, right? Well, yes and no.

Here’s the negative part of being so proactive and feeling the need to be in control…I don’t let others care for me.

At this point, I’m shutting Jeff out because I don’t know how to deal. I don’t know how to process what’s going on with me and I’m shutting him out.

When I finally answer the phone when he calls, he says he’s packing up at work and will meet me at the ER.

“No.” I tell him. “I will go to the ER, but I’m going into work first.”

Weird reaction, right? I know, thus is the conundrum of me. I am a soldier in the mist of my world falling apart. Pushing onward, not letting myself feel, just doing.

Jeff is frantic on the other end of the phone and I start crying as I knew I would and I told him I had to go. I don’t deal well with not knowing what to do. I was struggling to control my own emotions and I didn’t have room for anyone else’s emotions even though Jeff was certainly entitled.

I drove to work. When I got to the parking garage, I pulled out my makeup that I hadn’t put on yet. Tears were still rolling down my cheeks. I pulled the mirrored visor down and looked at my face.

My face was betraying me. Even in crying, the left side of my face was not distorting with emotion. It was sort of frozen which made me cry more.

What was happening to me? I dried up my tears as much as I could and put on my makeup. Putting on eye makeup was strange and made the tears start to roll again because I couldn’t close my left eyelid to put on eye shadow.

I only checked in at work, talked with my boss, told him what was going on and cried tremendously while telling him. I told him about my mom and the strokes that she had and how concerned that made me. Hearing the word Stoke in reference to yourself is a hard pill to swallow.

Jeff met me at my office and we soon left for the ER for the MRI and had the diagnosis of stroke ruled out. I had Bells Palsy and I would experience the symptoms for weeks.

The above is a play by play of how I spent my Thursday morning and afternoon of May 31, 2018.

This was my first time experiencing a sickness that wasn’t curable in a few days with a round of antibiotics.

Stay tuned…next week I’ll share how this sickness tested my faith.

How to Protect Your Well-being

How to Protect Your Well-being

What is this picture? Any guesses?

Central Park in New York City

Why was Central Park created? Why does it make sense to have such a big park in the middle of a giant city?

Couldn’t that space be used for productivity? More buildings? More businesses? More revenue? How much revenue per square ft. do you think this space could generate?

The park is surrounded by massive skyscrapers. Relative to the space, a few more skyscrapers wouldn’t take up that much space of the park, right? How many office spaces could that be?

Central Park is 843 acres in size! It’s 2.5 miles from north to south and 0.5 miles from east to west.

It’s a National Historic Landmark and considered a masterpiece of landscape architecture.

Do you think whoever’s idea this was to have such a big, protected park in the city is crazy?

Central Park was created in 1858 to address the recreational needs of the rapidly growing city. Its purpose was to offer urban dwellers an experience of the countryside, a place to escape from the stresses of urban life and to commune with nature and other fellow New Yorkers.

In fact, Central Park has its own conservancy to preserve and celebrate Central Park as a sanctuary from the pace and pressures of city life, enhancing the enjoyment and well-being of all.

Why are we talking about Central Park?

Where is the Central Park in your life? How do you escape the pressures and stresses of life?

What do each of us have in common?

We are human beings.

As humans, we have needs and emotions that must be attended to, right?

What do you need for optimal personal well-being?

Enter the 4 pillars of well-being or resilience. You may be familiar with these 4 pillars which is part of the U.S. Air Force Comprehensive Airman Fitness.

Resilience Mental Physical Social Spiritual Logo

Think of these 4 pillars as your own Central Park, or your greenspace. Let’s break down each part.

As we review each one, ask yourself, “what do you have that’s working and what do you have that’s not working?”

Mental. Being able to cope with mental stressors and challenges. Paying attention to your needs and feelings. Your thoughts control your energy.

Physical. Being able to adopt and sustain a healthy lifestyle. Exercise, nutrition, and sleep are all important. Connecting mind and body. Strong bodies help build strong minds.

Social. Being able to network. Building and valuing interpersonal relationships. Social connections widen perceptions and grow character.

Spiritual. Being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.

What else is on the picture above with the pillars of resilience?

The arrow that points in both directions. What does that indicate to you?

Each pillar overlaps. Investment in one pillar spills into other pillars.

For example, let’s pretend you are training for a marathon. First of all, that’s a mental goal, full of positive thinking.

It’s also a very physical goal, meaning you will need to progressively train over time. You’ll need to feed your body well. You’ll need rest and sleep.

Many people that train for marathons train in groups. This is a social activity. You might be training with people that are more experienced than you, so you can learn from them. They can share tips and tricks. They will encourage you to keep going when you want to quit.

Running a marathon can also touch on the spiritual pillar. It will take perseverance to complete this goal. It’s a goal that is bigger than you.

If you are your own conservatory for your pillars, how are you doing? How well are you protecting these areas?

The Central Park conservatory works year-round, rain or shine to maintain and restore every inch of the park.

How well are you protecting your greenspace?

What rhythms do you need to add into your life? Daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly?

Each one of us has 52 weeks a year; 365 days. Is a couple weeks, or 14 days, of vacation a year sufficient to maintain or build your 4 pillars?

How are you protecting your greenspace so that you can show up for your family, your work and team, for yourself? You can’t pour from an empty glass, and you can’t help others without putting on your mask first.

Maybe this feels overwhelming because you need a lot of work in 2-3 of these pillars. Or maybe you know exactly what you need to do in only 1. Whatever the case, think about what is one small change you could make today?

Start there and build. Become your own Conservatory.

A Prayer of Lament When Life is Overwhelming

A Prayer of Lament When Life is Overwhelming

We often find ourselves in the middle of anxiety, constant busyness, and the weight of everyday life. It’s not always easy to find the words to describe what we are feeling.

This is the video version of my personal Psalm of Lament—a cry out to God in the chaos. I wrote about it recently, linked here. If a 90 second video is more your speed than reading, I’ve got you covered. Just press play below.

If you’ve ever felt weary, anxious, or overwhelmed, may these words give voice to what your heart longs to say.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to know—feel free to share your own words of lament in the comments.

A Personal Psalm of Lament

A Personal Psalm of Lament

For a little more than a year, I volunteered with Seek and Find studies.

Two incredibly smart and gifted ladies, Summer and Christi, write the Bible studies and we attend the same church. Their goal is to put the Bible back in Bible studies.

My volunteering with Seek and Find Studies centered around writing (surprise) 🙂 and creating social media content.

I really enjoyed the volunteer work. In fact, it showed and reminded me of the talents God has given me.

Seek and Find studies gave me a way to utilize those talents. Which led me back here to perspectiveconfessions.com to dust off my blog and begin writing consistently.

One of the Bible studies is about the book of Psalms. Through this Bible study, I learned there are different types of psalms, such as psalms of:

  • Praise
  • Lament
  • Gratitude
  • Repentance
  • Wisdom

If you study psalms of lament in the Bible, you will find that there are 4 common elements:

  • a call for help
  • a lament
  • a petition
  • words of praise

Lament is an expression of profound sorrow, pain, or confusion.

In our world today, there are many things to lament about. Things that we feel are not in our control.

Psalms of lament express deep human affliction. They encourage us to call on the Lord in the midst of our struggles and teach us how to lament. Yes, we can read and study psalms of lament already written, such as Psalms 22.

We can also write our own psalms of lament.

I wrote a lament based upon a prompt while working through the Bible study.

Here is my version:

Why, God, do I lie awake at night tormented by fearful thoughts? The most worrisome and terrifying thoughts creep into my mind when the lights turn out, the sun sleeps and the house becomes quiet…that’s when my mind springs awake.

All corners of fear that can be pushed aside or buried in the daylight spring forth in new, vengeful life in the darkness.

Where are you? Lord, where is your light in the darkness? Don’t you see me? Don’t you hear my prayers to make it stop?

My mind, body, and soul is tired from the day’s grind.

Rushing, anywhere and everywhere.

Every waking moment filled with work, meetings, appointments, FaceTime, Zoom calls, endless and incessant social media scrolling, family, friends, traffic, errands, text messages, phone calls, notifications, emails, instant messages, children, grandchildren, church, studies, events, sports, on demand streaming.

Not all of these are bad, there is goodness in them, but not all at once and all the time.

I am poured out all the time and yet consuming all the time.

Consuming the emptiness of the busyness of instantaneous, on demand life that commands my attention to the right now and over here and what about this?!

Everything and nothing is what life demands and gives.

So much so that I don’t even know who I am or who you are, Lord.

I lie awake at night with tormenting thoughts because I’ve not given myself any time or space to process, rest, recharge, or center and ground myself in you, God.

I’m reminded of Psalms 23. You provide rest and everything I need.

You restore.

You are good, God, so, so good.

Help me find a different rhythm founded upon you.

You truly do fill up my empty being.

Grant me wisdom to discern life giving and life taking tasks.

Give me the discipline to go against the flow of the world.

Thank you for the rest, restoration, and reconciliation that you give freely to those looking and asking you for it.

Lord, I am looking and asking!

Amen.

Feelings and Resiliency

Feelings and Resiliency

My full time job has been marked with lots of feelings this year.

My company has had 15 – 20% headcount reductions (read as layoffs).

I was in the first round of reductions. Thankfully, I am still gainfully employed.

That is not true for many people, including the team I was a part for the last 2 years.

My former team’s positions were eliminated entirely. At the end of the first round, 2 teammates elected to retire or voluntarily leave; 4 were left standing (meaning they were laid off); and 3 of us were placed in other positions.

How rapidly it all happened was shocking. One day we were a team and the next I would not see some of my team members anymore.

Corporate world can be and is brutal. I’ve personally experienced headcount reductions 4 times in my 14 year career so far. I’m certain there will be more.

Beginning at the end of 2024, my team and others began preparing employees for what was coming.

The uncertainty that lingers for months in advance of knowing if you have a job or not is stressful!

We lean on tools to strengthen our resiliency during these times. These tools equip us for what will ultimately come. They remind us to be flexible and lean into strengths. Focus on what we can control and loosen our grip on what we cannot.

They are good reminders during this time. And while these tools don’t take away the hardship of enduring one of these reductions, it can help shift our mindset..

In February of 2025, I gave a presentation about Feelings and Resilience. Here is what I shared.

Referring to the Feeling Wheel, if you had to name the feeling(s) you have right now, what would it be?

Are you surprised that there are so many feelings? And yet, they can connect back to 6 core feelings.

What feelings do you tend to ignore?

Do you think it’s possible to ignore “bad” feelings and only experience “good” feelings? Why or why not?

Early this year, I finished reading Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

What I didn’t know before I read the book was how much resiliency is incorporated into imperfection.

Brene writes, when we become more accepting of uncomfortable feelings, we become more flexible and can enjoy life more fully even with feelings of discomfort.

In her book she notes:

  • Shame, guilt, fear, despair, disappointment, and sadness are difficult feelings that tend to cause vunerability, discomfort, and pain.
  • The most powerful feelings we experience have very sharp points, like the tip of a thorn.
  • Which usually leads to modes of distraction to get away from the uncomfortable feelings. Such as…mindless scrolling, eating, drinking, shopping, staying busy, work, choas, etc.

Everyone moves away from feelings of discomfort.

We also must remember that we cannot selectively ignore feelings.

“When we numb the dark, we numb the light.”

We can’t make a list of “bad” feelings and say, “I’m going to ignore these” and then list the positive feelings and say, “I’m going to fully engage in these!”

It doesn’t work that way.

Let’s explore the feeling of Joy.

To love and/or believe in something with your whole heart; to engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees…these involve the risk of vulnerability and often pain.

AND

Great joy can come from them.

Feelings of hopelessness, fear, blame, pain, discomfort, vulnerability, and disconnection sabotage our resilience and well being.

The only experience broad and fierce enough to combat a list like that is the belief that we’re all in this together and that something greater than ourselves has the capacity to bring love and compassion into our lives.

Practicing spirituality is what brings about healing and creates resilience.

Spirituality is being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.

Here is an example of the ways I’ve leaned into my spirituality practice.

Having a sense of purpose, meaning, and perspective in our lives allows us to develop understanding and move forward. Without purpose, meaning, and perspective, it is easy to lose hope, numb our emotions, or become overwhelmed by our circumstances.

We feel reduced, less capable, and lost in the face of struggle. The heart of spirituality is connection and through that, we won’t feel alone.

How do you know that you are ignoring uncomfortable feelings?

Recognizing and leaning into (not away) from discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace.

We live in a both/and world.

We can experience discomfort and joy. They are not mutually exclusive.

When you have the awareness, what can you do to practice leaning into the discomfort?

How can you lean into the discomfort of vulnerability and let joy in as well?

Exercise Prompt:

Hold up both hands, palms up and open. Can you practice holding the feelings of discomfort in one hand and the “good” feelings in the other hand? In fact, write on one open palm your feelings of discomfort and then write the “good” feelings on the other open palm. Practicing holding and experiencing both.