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Intentionally Aware

Our modern world 🌎 is so fast paced. The expectations are right here, right now, and on demand. Today’s modern life depicts that we can have anything and everything at the touch of a button 🔘. Consider Netflix with endless streaming options; or Amazon with a conveyor belt of products to your front door 🚪 with what your heart desires. Consider DoorDash making food options seem endless and easy. What’s wrong with having options at the touch of a button? On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with it. However, there’s a better question to ask instead: What are we missing?

How much time ⏱️ do you spend deciding what to watch on your streaming service? So. Many. Options. Anxiety creeps in about picking the wrong show or movie to watch because there might be something better if I just keep looking 👀. How much time do you spend binge watching a series? Has that box popped up on the screen asking “Are you still watching?” because the same show is still playing after watching 3 episodes. What are we missing?

Time. ⌛️

Time scrolling through too many options. Hours spent watching episode after episode. What else could you do with that time? Read a book, learn a new skill, study for a class, practice a hobby, pray, hang out with a friend or your spouse, volunteer. Are we intentionally making the decision of how we want to spend our time? Or are we allowing our time to slip away? ⌛️

What about shopping online with a business like Amazon? What are we missing?

Delayed gratification. Money. Social interactions.

Amazon is like a genie in a bottle. Make a wish for a product and it arrives lickity split except for that whole exchange of money 💵 thing. 2️⃣0️⃣ years ago, if I wanted a new shirt, I would have to plan when I would drive to the nearest mall. The next thought would be checking to see if there was a sale happening soon so my hard-earned money 💵 stretched further. I might have planned to go with a friend to make it a more enjoyable experience. 2️⃣0️⃣ years ago, I would intentionally plan when I would shop, how I would spend my money, and who I would bring along with me. All the planning and thought also meant I was delaying my gratification of getting a shirt right away. We say “no” to our children because it’s not healthy to have a piece of candy anytime they want it. Are we saying “n”o to ourselves often enough to ensure we have a healthy delayed gratification muscle? 💪

What about a service like DoorDash? What are we missing?

Cooking skills. Health. Money. Family heritage.

Beyond the excessive expense of the service, fast and processed food 🍕has eroded our health. Our bodies need nutrient dense foods 🥗. If we cooked more often at home, we would have better control of the ingredients we are putting in our bodies to nourish them well. Developing cooking skills are being limited by allowing restaurants to do it instead. Cooking is a major life and survival skill. There’s no need to be a Chef, however, everyone needs to know their way around a kitchen, how to plan a meal, and know where ingredients are in the grocery 🛒 store. What about your grandmother’s recipes 📝, something your mom or aunt always made? Is it possible that family heritage is slipping away without the knowledge, practice, and cooking skills to keep them going? Regardless, you are paying a hefty price 💲 for convenience.

Don’t get me wrong. I have a Netflix subscription, an Amazon Prime account, and I have DoorDashed on a rare occasion. These options aren’t wrong, however, it is VERY easy to slip into living your life on auto pilot. The endless scrolling, buying, and eating out because it’s easy. There’s a price 💲 to pay for convenience. There’s always a price!

One very valid argument is our busy, hectic schedules demand that we continue moving at lightening ⚡️ speed. I agree, our schedules aren’t slowing down and I would suggest using these options as measured 📏 conveniences. Measure them by being intentionally aware. Be intentional when you need to use them. Be intentional in the money 💵 you spend on convenience. Be intentional in what you are trading for your time ⌛️. Be intentional of how your decisions are impacting your health 🩺. Don’t lose yourself in the haze of busy and put your brain 🧠 on autopilot. Live the life you have to the fullest and intentionally choose what works best for you. Let’s be aware of what modern conveniences provide, how they can make our lives easier, and let’s also consider what we are missing or giving up by using them. Be intentionally intentional with your time ⌛️, money 💵, and health 🩺.

Tacos for Life

recipe binder
Recipes for Life

I wanted to make tacos for dinner this week. I have, in my opinion, the BEST taco recipe ever. I’ve made it so many times that I don’t need the recipe anymore….except for this weekend. I hadn’t made it in a while and before going to the grocery store, I wanted to double check that I had all the ingredients. So, I pulled out this 3 inch white binder that holds my taco recipe. But in all actuality, I pulled out so much more than a binder. So many memories came flooding back to me as I opened it. I have dozens upon dozens of recipes in that binder and the majority of those recipes came from when I was in college. I am so thankful to have those recipes, yet sad because that was all I had during that period of my life. Yet I was happy because I was honing my cooking skills and that was one of the only things I did for myself back then. I experimented and I tried new things. Food Network and I were buds!! Most of my recipes came from Rachel Ray, Guy Fieri, Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse, Sandra Lee and Paula Deen. But the taco recipe….well, that one doesn’t come from a well known TV chef. I don’t even remember the show’s name, but it was a show for people who were just beginning their cooking journey. The 2 chefs did an excellent job walking through the step by step process of the recipe. This same show is where I also learned how to make garlic into a paste with table salt for homemade guacamole.

taco recipe
You can always tell a good recipe by how well worn the cookbook page is! 🙂

Back then, I was a brand new wife living in a mobile home in Starkville, MS. I was also a student, but at the time, I identified as being a wife more. That’s where I placed my worth. I remember cleaning the small, 2 bedroom mobile home so well. I used to buy the scented powder stuff to sprinkle in the carpet and then vacuum it up. It made the place smell so good! This was a time when I actually vacuumed and mopped once a week proudly!

Looking back I was so alone. I didn’t really know anything about anything, but I did escape my life and I got married to start a new one. I had no idea what I was doing, not a clue.

I was so backwards that I really hadn’t had cable and I was enthralled at having TV….maybe that’s part of the reason I loved Food Network so much! All I really wanted to do was sit at home and watch TV. I felt I needed my fill of it.

As I mentioned before, I was also a student. A 20 year old student that was married and lacked very serious social skills. I was at home enthralled with having cable TV and experimenting with cooking different recipes while other students my age were experimenting with pushing boundaries, dating, creating lasting friendships, having fun and creating a future. I didn’t have the skills nor the insight or foresight to know that I should be doing those things. I’m incredibly sad thinking back about the girl in the mobile home who is 20 years old with her whole life ahead of her yet she’s waiting at home for her husband…waiting with a meal prepared, and usually a different recipe every night. She didn’t know any better and she wasn’t capable of doing anymore than what she did. It is sad nonetheless. She was waiting on someone to tell her what she wanted and needed. She was an empty shell mostly. There were some thoughts and desires about what she wanted, but they were not fully formed. And they were overwhelming because, after all, what was she going to do anyway? She wasn’t fully equipped to survive on her own, so how could she breathe life into those dreams? When you don’t have direction, how do you find it?

Sometimes I’m still that girl. Overwhelmed with life, overwhelmed with so many channels to watch on cable TV. Sure, I’ve had more life experience and I’m stronger, more confident, have more social skills; but I’m still that overwhelmed girl that’s very comfortable at home cooking a different meal every night and cleaning her floors once a week. Simple life, simple girl. Here I am 15 years later. I’ve survived, but I don’t know that I’ve lived. I haven’t known what to live for. It’s been about other’s desires or sheer survival but not about living. What do I want? I am overwhelmed at the possibilities. So much so that I am frozen in place. How do I choose? I’m afraid to limit myself by choosing because what if I choose the wrong one? What if I don’t like the path I choose or worse yet….what if I fail?

Who knew those recipes in the white binder would pull out more than just instructions for great meals?! I am not ashamed of the time I spent in the tiny kitchen with no dishwasher (oh my! how many dishes I washed by hand!). I cherish the time I had. I think I needed it.

I wish I could hug my 20 year old self and tell her “it’s ok. Take your time. You will figure it all out in your own time. You are beautiful and smart and strong…you just need time. Take as much time as you need. Don’t rush”.

The 20 year old me could have really used some of the strength I have now. The 35 year old me could really use some of the tenderness I had back then. I could use some of the curiosity and the slow down and smell the roses that my 20 year old self had. I did have time of discovery, I just didn’t take enough time. I needed to pressure myself back then to find a path. But really, I didn’t need to at all. I needed the time.

I wish I could go back to the place and time to discover more wonderful recipes, cut them out of magazines and file them away in my recipe binder. I wish I could take the time to cook my way into a direction in life by giving myself all the time I need because, Man! Those are some GREAT tacos!