God | Perspective Confessions

100 Days of Prayer – Part 2

Click here for Part 1 of 100 Days of Prayer.

By the end of January, I completed 100 days of prayer.

What I loved most was the consistency—the daily return, the discipline of intention. In a modern world that moves relentlessly fast, continual focus on anything feels countercultural. This practice invited me to slow down, to be deliberate, to remain present with God day after day.

As I approached the end of the 100 days, something unexpected happened.

I realized it was becoming less about what I was praying for.

It was less about my circumstances, less about the situations, and less about what I wanted God to do.

Instead, I sensed a gentle prompting from God—through the Holy Spirit—redirecting my attention to something deeper: my faith.

I captured this realization in a journal entry near the end of the practice:

I realize I’ve been praying similar prayers every day for almost 100 days. I’ve loved this practice—coming to You, God, with greater confidence, knowing what I want to say. It has strengthened my confidence in prayer. And now, I’m beginning to wonder if my prayer should change. I feel more resolved in one situation I’ve brought to You repeatedly. But what I want from You, Lord, is absolute clarity. Will I have that? No.

Lord, what do You want me to know right now? What is true? Faith is not certainty—that’s why it’s faith.

Scripture echoes this truth again and again. Faith is not something we see; it is something we hope for. Hebrews 11:1, “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

“By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.” – Hebrews 1:3

Jesus speaks of faith as small as a mustard seed—tiny, unimpressive, easily overlooked—yet capable of extraordinary growth. A seed that moves mountains. A seed that uproots trees. A seed that changes everything.

Matthew 17:20 – “…if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “move from here to there” and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Mustard seed scripture references: Matthew 13:31-32; Mark 4:30-32; Luke 17:6

Faith, then, is action without absolutes—anchored not in outcomes, but in who God is.

“I do believe; help me in my unbelief.” – Mark 9:24
“Come quickly to help me, Lord.” – Psalms 38:22
“Everything is possible for the one who believes.” – Mark 9:23

Over these 100 days, I began to see that the practice wasn’t meant to guarantee answers or clarity. It was shaping my trust, my faith in God.

God didn’t part the Red Sea for the Israelites after they saw the way forward. He made a way as they walked in obedience. Moses stepped forward in faith long before certainty appeared. Exodus 13:17-22; Exodus 14:21-22

And in my own quiet way, I noticed the same pattern. More peace than anxiety. More clarity of heart than clarity of circumstance. More encouragement than discouragement.

I also noticed how easily my faith drifts and wavers toward earthly assurances—control, outcomes, timelines—rather than resting fully in God. And that’s not where I want my trust to live.

Faith is action without absolutes, but the belief in those absolutes is God. That God is who He says He is.

So perhaps the 100 days of prayer were never primarily about changing my situation.

Perhaps they were about strengthening my faith.

Learning to let go, to let God.
Learning to trust.
Learning to follow—even when the path isn’t fully visible.

Lord, lead the way.
I need You.

Amen.

I haven’t begun a new 100 days of prayer yet, but I intend to.

Why don’t you join me? What has been on your mind and heart that you’d like to talk to God for 100 days about?

He’s ready.

He’s listening.

He wants to hear from you.

Surrender in Faith- Part 2

Please make sure to read Surrender – Part 1 of this series.

Journal Entry from June 10, 2018

“This has been a very difficult week. I have contemplated my health and body more than ever. I’ve been scared out of my mind, overwhelmed beyond belief and beaten down.

I didn’t know being sick would affect me that way. It has rattled me to my core. When your body decides to rebel against you, it’s unnerving.

The thing that has scared me and continues to scare me is becoming sick and not being able to live life as I once was able to. So much can be taken away so quickly. No warning.

The emotional ramifications of that is profound. In those moments, you realize how much you take for granted all the time.

And you realize just how much you aren’t in control. It’s funny how I believe I’m in control all the time or at least most of the time and the reality is I’ve never been in control. I’ve only conned myself into thinking that. Surrendering is hard. Surrendering my strong-will is hard. And this week I wasn’t left with much of anything but surrender.

What I mean is I found myself alone, struggling to understand even what the meaning of life is, what happiness is, reflecting on how I’ve been living my life, treating my body, caring or not caring for my body, my emotional well-being, utterly overwhelmed and consumed, not able to focus or think or function. Realizing that when you are sick, it’s you and you alone. There’s no other person that can go through it with you. No one else truly knows how you feel. It’s only you. And it leaves you reflecting on your spiritual life, clinging to God because He’s the only one that can go through this with you.

Learning to rely on Him is hard. Surrendering is hard, and I don’t like surrendering. I laugh when I say that because God made me after all! He knows I’m stubborn and strong-willed, not going down without a fight, He knows I’ll get scrappy if needed. 🙂

Maybe surrendering is the strongest thing I can do.

Asking Him to fill me with His peace and joy. (Romans 15:13) I found myself casting out the enemy’s anxiety and fear in Jesus name because my God is bigger than that.

I found myself heavily relying on God to carry me through this. And it’s amazing that at every turn, no matter the progress in recovery I have made, the evil one is standing by interjecting fear and worry at every turn.

The enemy is unrelenting.

I wonder if God gets weary of us and our inability to remain faithful even for a few minutes?

That’s been another prayer of mine as well, “Lord, please help me in my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24) I do believe, but I am weak.

God would show me His healing power by my tongue becoming functional to taste again. My eyelids blinking at the same time, strength coming back to my lips so I could spit toothpaste in the sink from the center of my mouth.

Even in all these ways He’s showing me He’s taking care of me and I still fear and wait anxiously.

Giving it over to Him is hard. All the while knowing He can do so much better at all this than me.

Being sick is scary. Being helpless is frightening.

I have thought about my mom a lot. She was sick for so long and I’m sure she was scared and felt alone.

…help me in my unbelief…

Today, I feel much improved, but anxiety and worry still take up way too many of my thoughts. All craziness. I know this logically, but the fear and worry have another agenda. The enemy’s mind games.

I know my God does not want me to suffer. He does not want me to worry. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:30)

I want to have a closer relationship with Him. One that I can trust and lean upon Him. Surrender to Him.

I want to have close to my heart the knowing that God loves me, He delights in me. I want to put down the knowing that I’ve had in the past. I often see God as disappointed in me, displeased with me. A punishing God because I have not done the things I should.

All of those negative, ugly ways I thought about God, I want to put down.

I want to know Him as my Father who loves me and cares for me and wants the best for me.

He wants me to follow Him, surrender to Him. And I think I’ve been unable to know Him, to follow Him because I’ve been ashamed. Feeling too unworthy to approach Him, unworthy of His love, unworthy to really know Him. Why would God want to know me?

I think it’s easy to believe that when you’re sometimes not seen by those who are closest to you. If you’ve ever experienced someone close to you that seemingly doesn’t openly delight in you or that’s how you’ve interpreted it anyway. You are left feeling unnoticed and unworthy and unimportant. All lies from the devil in association with God.

I pray God’s grace upon my unworthiness. I pray for His help in my surrender to His ways. To lean on Him and not worry. I pray for release from the anxiety, to live in His joy and His freedom. Help me in my unbelief. To be still and know. (Psalm 46:10) To wait because He will fight for me. (Exodus 14:14) His grace and mercy is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God wants me to be happy and live a full life in Him and I should stop living in fear and start doing just that.

His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:30) Lord help me to know that, not just logically but in all ways and to rest in You. (Matthew 11:28)”

I was recently reminded of a scene in the movie, The Shack. Have you seen it? If not, I recommend it. It’s a powerful movie.

The scene I’m referring to is the one where Mack, the main character, is in a boat on the lake. Everything seems peaceful and then his mind starts taking him back to a pivotal point in his life. Playing mind games and suddenly the boat begins filling with black water. Mack is panicking!

Then you hear the sound of Jesus’ voice telling Mack he’s ok. Jesus says, “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” “Focus on me,” he says.

When Mack is finally able to raise his eyes to focus on Jesus, the boat returns as it was and Mack is ok.

Click on the link below to watch the scene from The Shack, the first 2:30 minutes.

https://youtu.be/G1OHyINxuRQ

Isn’t that how life is? When we are drowning, we are focusing on the pain and the turmoil.

If we can lift our eyes to focus on Him…know that He’s there and He will never leave.

I struggle to keep my eyes lifted and focused on Him and Bell’s Palsy proved no different.

It’s been 7 years since my bout with Bell’s Palsy.

It often takes going through something to see the beautiful picture that God painted, and how He strengthened my faith. Hardships make our faith strong. “I am made strong in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:5-10)

If you are wrestling with trying times that life has dealt you, I encourage you to lift your eyes and focus on Him as best you can. He’s there and He’s walking beside you.

A Prayer of Lament When Life is Overwhelming

We often find ourselves in the middle of anxiety, constant busyness, and the weight of everyday life. It’s not always easy to find the words to describe what we are feeling.

This is the video version of my personal Psalm of Lament—a cry out to God in the chaos. I wrote about it recently, linked here. If a 90 second video is more your speed than reading, I’ve got you covered. Just press play below.

If you’ve ever felt weary, anxious, or overwhelmed, may these words give voice to what your heart longs to say.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to know—feel free to share your own words of lament in the comments.

Feelings and Resiliency

My full time job has been marked with lots of feelings this year.

My company has had 15 – 20% headcount reductions (read as layoffs).

I was in the first round of reductions. Thankfully, I am still gainfully employed.

That is not true for many people, including the team I was a part for the last 2 years.

My former team’s positions were eliminated entirely. At the end of the first round, 2 teammates elected to retire or voluntarily leave; 4 were left standing (meaning they were laid off); and 3 of us were placed in other positions.

How rapidly it all happened was shocking. One day we were a team and the next I would not see some of my team members anymore.

Corporate world can be and is brutal. I’ve personally experienced headcount reductions 4 times in my 14 year career so far. I’m certain there will be more.

Beginning at the end of 2024, my team and others began preparing employees for what was coming.

The uncertainty that lingers for months in advance of knowing if you have a job or not is stressful!

We lean on tools to strengthen our resiliency during these times. These tools equip us for what will ultimately come. They remind us to be flexible and lean into strengths. Focus on what we can control and loosen our grip on what we cannot.

They are good reminders during this time. And while these tools don’t take away the hardship of enduring one of these reductions, it can help shift our mindset..

In February of 2025, I gave a presentation about Feelings and Resilience. Here is what I shared.

Referring to the Feeling Wheel, if you had to name the feeling(s) you have right now, what would it be?

Are you surprised that there are so many feelings? And yet, they can connect back to 6 core feelings.

What feelings do you tend to ignore?

Do you think it’s possible to ignore “bad” feelings and only experience “good” feelings? Why or why not?

Early this year, I finished reading Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

What I didn’t know before I read the book was how much resiliency is incorporated into imperfection.

Brene writes, when we become more accepting of uncomfortable feelings, we become more flexible and can enjoy life more fully even with feelings of discomfort.

In her book she notes:

Shame, guilt, fear, despair, disappointment, and sadness are difficult feelings that tend to cause vunerability, discomfort, and pain.
The most powerful feelings we experience have very sharp points, like the tip of a thorn.
Which usually leads to modes of distraction to get away from the uncomfortable feelings. Such as…mindless scrolling, eating, drinking, shopping, staying busy, work, choas, etc.

Everyone moves away from feelings of discomfort.

We also must remember that we cannot selectively ignore feelings.

“When we numb the dark, we numb the light.”

We can’t make a list of “bad” feelings and say, “I’m going to ignore these” and then list the positive feelings and say, “I’m going to fully engage in these!”

It doesn’t work that way.

Let’s explore the feeling of Joy.

To love and/or believe in something with your whole heart; to engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees…these involve the risk of vulnerability and often pain.

AND

Great joy can come from them.

Feelings of hopelessness, fear, blame, pain, discomfort, vulnerability, and disconnection sabotage our resilience and well being.

The only experience broad and fierce enough to combat a list like that is the belief that we’re all in this together and that something greater than ourselves has the capacity to bring love and compassion into our lives.

Practicing spirituality is what brings about healing and creates resilience.

Spirituality is being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.

Here is an example of the ways I’ve leaned into my spirituality practice.

Having a sense of purpose, meaning, and perspective in our lives allows us to develop understanding and move forward. Without purpose, meaning, and perspective, it is easy to lose hope, numb our emotions, or become overwhelmed by our circumstances.

We feel reduced, less capable, and lost in the face of struggle. The heart of spirituality is connection and through that, we won’t feel alone.

How do you know that you are ignoring uncomfortable feelings?

Recognizing and leaning into (not away) from discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace.

We live in a both/and world.

We can experience discomfort and joy. They are not mutually exclusive.

When you have the awareness, what can you do to practice leaning into the discomfort?

How can you lean into the discomfort of vulnerability and let joy in as well?

Exercise Prompt:

Hold up both hands, palms up and open. Can you practice holding the feelings of discomfort in one hand and the “good” feelings in the other hand? In fact, write on one open palm your feelings of discomfort and then write the “good” feelings on the other open palm. Practicing holding and experiencing both.

Silent Retreat 2025: Personal Wellbeing

A few months ago, I wrote about my first experience attending Awaken Silent Retreat, posts linked here and here.

And only 5 months later, I attended again. This time on my birthday weekend!

The Silent Retreat was in a different location this time. It was hosted at Shepherd of the Ozarks (SOTO), located in the heart of the Ozark mountains in Harriett, Arkansas.

The total drive for me was around 8 hours from Houston, Texas to Harriett, Arkansas.

I had never been to the Ozark Mountains before. It is beautiful! The last hour of the drive was breathtaking! It reminded me of the Smoky Mountains.

When I arrived, I parked and unloaded my car only to reload my things into a truck. The truck would cross the creek and take me the remaining distance to the cabin.

The creek crossing reminded me of the creek you cross going to J.P. Coleman State Park. My Iuka, Mississippi friends will know what I mean.

But the creek at SOTO was much larger and required a 4-wheel drive vehicle.

The weather forecast was looking like a lot of rain. What we didn’t know is that there would be record breaking rain that weekend.

After unloading our things, we settled into the kitchen where a meal had thoughtfully been prepared for all of us.

As you can see from the photo, there were 19 ladies in attendance.

The cabin was gigantic, about 7,600 square feet. It was 3 levels with numerous bedrooms. Plenty of room to spread out both in the cabin and on the front and back porches.

All during dinner, there was talking and conversation. After dinner, we gathered in the living area. Danielle led us in worship songs and scripture. She guided us in an exercise to use our holy imagination that prepared our minds for the weekend of silence.

Then, with our phones turned into Danielle, we shifted into silence.

When I returned to my room, I was met with interesting visitors in the bathroom. Not 1, not 2, but 3 wasps were in my bathroom! I had to summon help from Danielle to get rid of them.

The wasps would prove to be interesting violators of my silent weekend.

It rained, thundered, and lightened much of the night. As the day broke, so did the weather. Many of the ladies were going outside to explore the outdoors. It was beautiful scenery at SOTO. I had heard some of them talk about a prayer walk the night before. The hike had signs with scripture prompts along the path. This is where I wanted to go.

I packed up my journal and pen in my bag. Grabbed a coffee to go and set out to find this path. I found the prayer walk and started to doubt if I should continue. Since it had been raining the night prior, it was muddy and where the path began, it was steep. I hesitated, but decided to at least go a little ways before giving up.

My next hurdle was wooden planks that served as bridges without hand rails over shallow ravines. When stepping on the wooden planks, they bowed under my weight. I must have stepped forward and stepped backward at least 3 or 4 times.

I was out of my comfort zone. And then I laughed at myself, “says the girl that drove 8 hours alone to be at a silent retreat.”

This gave me gusto to cross the plank quickly only to be met with a second plank to cross. I didn’t hesitate as much with this one.

I came to the first scripture prompt, Psalms 96, a psalm of praise. It seemed so appropriate given the beautiful mountains and the gurgling creek below me. I sat in silence and read the scripture through again and enjoyed the sights of the beautiful landscape.

The next scripture prompt on the path was Psalms 32:1-7, a psalm of confession.

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.”

I was struck with how the verse spoke to me. If I hide and keep sin in my life a secret, I will waste away. Sin is detrimental physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The part about “your hand was heavy upon me” says to me that your conscious is speaking about the sin. Sin preoccupies our lives and takes our strength. The relief from the bind of sin is to confess it to the Lord.

This was an humbling experience on the prayer path…to sit in silence and to sit with truth.

I continued on the path only to come to another crossing. The path continued on the other side of the creek. I was wearing tennis shoes and given the rain the night before, the creek was high.

I decided I would not cross. Instead I found a makeshift perch on a rock and decided to sit and take in God’s beauty He created.

Because I did not have my phone or camera, my journal and pen served to capture the beauty.

It’s easy to forget to use all our senses when we experience something. We carry these mini computers with us all day, i.e. phones. It’s easy to snap a photo, but what else other than the visual did you experience?

Writing down what I was seeing, hearing, and feeling helped me capture the moment and embed it in my mind. Here’s what I wrote:

“Water gurgling and bubbling. Water falling that sounds like water filling up a bathtub. Very vibrant greens from the moss on the sides of the trees and rocks to the grass and buds on awakening trees from their winter’s nap. The simplicity of beauty. The grass, the trees, the moss, and the water doing nothing other than what they were designed to do. No rush, no busy, just being what they are supposed to be. They are all enough, more than enough. Flowing water around the bend and out of sight. Not in a hurry, but a constant flow. Roots that create the perfect natural stair steps to the water. Lavender flowers. Are those weeds? Does it matter? I’ve never seen this place. It feels like a gift from God as I journeyed to spend uninterrupted time with Him. The temperature is perfect. Not hot, not cold. Mossy, velvet carpet. Soft to the touch. And purple flowers popping out here and there among the fresh greenery.”

If you’ve been reading my blog, you may find that I write often about silence and stillness. Silence and stillness are tools. They are spiritual disciplines. They are practices to have greater personal wellbeing.

Our modern world is noisy and busy.

What are you missing by getting swept away in the constant demand on your time and the distractions?

What if you carved out time for silence and stillness? What do you think would happen?

Maybe you’d notice and experience the world around you like I experienced being in the mountains and by the creek.

Maybe you’d experience all of your senses.

Maybe you’d be aware of more.

Many think that silence is taking things away, like your phone and distractions. While that’s true, what’s also true is thinking about what silence could give you/add back instead.

Stay tuned! Next week, I’ll continue writing about my experience with a Silent Retreat weekend.

12 Reasons to Keep a Journal

I was just in my prayer journal and reading through the last few entries. One paragraph in an entry expresses how I feel like I’m wandering through the wilderness. It’s much like what the Israelites did, (Deuteronomy 29:5-6). I feel like I’m wandering because where I work full-time is restructuring the entire company, which includes headcount reductions (layoffs). I wrote about one of the ways I’m navigating this uncertainty last week. I’m in the middle of the unknown and living in an in-between place. The ways I’m choosing to battle through this is reminding myself of what is true. Did you know that truth telling = confession? To confess is to tell the truth, which is exactly what Perspective Confessions is all about. Below is a list of reminders I wrote in my prayer journal. It includes tidbits from journal entries from the months and weeks leading up to the restructure.

12 Journal Confessions of What is True

Give the feelings of uncertainty, fear, numbness, and disconnection to God
Stop running away from hard feelings. Journal to process the feelings and/or talk with a trusted friend or therapist.
Surrender to Him. I am not in control. God is in control. Have faith and trust in Him. Mark 9:24
Inviting Jesus into this weird place with me when I can’t seem to surrender it just yet
Praying a simple prayer asking Him to “lead the way”.
Jesus is Lord – John 13:13
God is unchanging – Isaiah 40:8
God loves me – 1 John 4:16
I’ve been found worthy without works. I don’t have to prove myself through work.- Galatians 2:16
My identity is not my work or my job title, it’s Jesus Christ – Galatians 3:26
Move forward one step at a time
Focus on Him – 1 Chronicles 16:11

12 Reasons to Keep a Journal

If you don’t already, I recommend keeping a journal. I don’t write in my journal every day. I don’t even write in it every week. However, it has been a practice in my life over the years. And, it has proven to be a powerful tool.

It allows the processing of thoughts and feelings.
It provides the opportunity to go back and read through experiences at different points in time.
It’s a tool that helps you reflect on your mindset during past hardships.
It helps you remember how things turned out.
Reflection is a powerful tool. Hindsight is 20/20 after all.
Journaling is a map that tells you where you’ve been and how far you’ve come. It helps you hold yourself accountable for how you got to where you are. It also helps you decide what you’d do differently, if anything.
Reviewing the words you wrote during a hardship will remind you later of your strength.
Articulating in written words helps your brain think more clearly.
It gives swirling thoughts a home.
It helps make clear what is unclear.
It helps you navigate challenges.
Keeping a journal slows you down. The world is so loud, busy, and fast. It’s easy to lose yourself in it all. One day you look up and don’t remember how you got where you are. If we aren’t careful, life passes us by without our permission.

Your Turn! Journal Prompt

A journal is a great way to check in with yourself periodically. Put 10 minutes on the timer on your phone. Spend those 10 minutes answering the questions below.

What is the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?
How would you like for it to turn out?
What can you do about it?
What is the right next step?

If you are looking for another resource that will simultaneously help you pray, journal, and listen for God’s voice; I highly recommend the book, Living Fearless by Jamie Winship.

*Another article coming soon about Leadership and Journaling.*

Silence and Stillness: Tools for a Noisy, Modern World

This article was originally published in Tish Co News.

What is a Silent Retreat?

In November 2024, I drove all the way to Higden, Arkansas for a silent retreat hosted by Awaken Silent Retreat. Silent retreat = no talking and silent rest. Practicing silence means turning off and putting away all distractions. This helps us to better hear from God and the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It’s a spiritual discipline. It’s also a practice of being with yourself and hearing your own thoughts and voice. It’s a practice of resting. I’ve been practicing silence and stillness for a few years, read about it here.

How to Know if You Are a Good Candidate for a Silent Retreat?

How often are you quiet during the day? How often do you truly rest? When you lay down at night, is this the first time that you are quiet with no distractions? Does your mind spring to life with thoughts and worries? Yep, mine too. This means I’m not allowing time in the day, to think, to pray, or to process. In fact, I often work hard to keep from having to think, process, or feel because it seems overwhelming. It takes a lot of energy to keep pushing things down or away. This might be why feeling tired and overwhelmed are commonplace these days. We aren’t allowing space to just be; to be a human being instead of a human doing. When I first heard about this silent retreat, it was on a podcast, Prosperity with Purpose. The podcaster, Jessica Hefley, had recently attended. They had many wonderful things to say about it, and I immediately wanted to experience it too. She described it as a way to eliminate distraction, crowds, and hurry which stands between us and peace. These are tools the enemy uses to keep us separated from God.

Jesus spoke to his disciples in Mark 6:31a. He said, “Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

I didn’t know much about this retreat. However, I trusted Jessica Hefley’s review on her podcast, Silent Retreat to 10x Your Life. So, I sought it out, signed up, and prepared myself to drive 7 hours to attend. That’s a key indicator that I was craving peace and rest. The drive wasn’t difficult at all. Much of the travel was familiar to me. This is because we usually travel through Arkansas on our way home to Iuka, MS.

Silent Retreat Experience

Once I arrived, I was greeted by Danielle, who was leading us that weekend. It was going to be a small group, only 5 of us. After introductions, we ate dinner all while still talking and getting to know one another. Then, we gathered in the living room. Danielle led us in a few songs of worship. She prepared our minds with scripture and then we closed with prayer. We turned off our phones and turned them in for the weekend, and we shifted into silence. Each of us had our own bedrooms and I quickly retired to mine. I was tired from the day’s drive. My usual routine for bed is watching TV and being on my phone. I had neither and I slept 8 hours that night! When I awoke and emerged from my room, breakfast had already been made. I took my coffee outside on the deck and then proceeded down to the lake shore to explore. I noticed deer and dog prints in the mud and the small, smooth rocks along the shore. I sat on top of a big rock overlooking the lake. Fishermen in boats would wave as they passed by. There was an island directly across from shore and kayaks could be used to get there. One of the ladies from the retreat had struck out on an island adventure. She was braver than I. I wandered back up to the cabin. I really didn’t want to read a book while I was at the retreat. I wanted to be silent and hear from God. My mind was not cooperating. I remembered Danielle’s prompting that sometimes it’s better to focus your mind on a book. I pulled from the library the one she recommended, “Living Fearlessly” by Jamie Winship. The book was incredibly helpful with prayer prompts and encouragement for listening for God’s voice. The book recommended to pray and write down what you hear or sense from God. Looking up from the book, I found myself noticing the leaves drop from the trees. This is what I wrote in my journal:

“Methodical drops. Not one leaf in a hurry, making its decent gracefully with swoops and spins. Not to be rushed. The leaves fall joyfully. The season changing and the leaves don’t try to stay. When it’s their time to go, they let go and fall freely. Not a worry or bother. They are doing what they are supposed to do. No argument, only a delightful freefall to make a crunchy carpet on the ground.”

Later, my attention was brought to the squirrels. I wrote about them, too:

“Scampering squirrels. Jumping from one branch to another. They must weigh a few ounces because the branches barely move under their weight. Back and forth they scale at least 15 trees. Never a misstep. They are skilled tree climbers and jumpers. Never needing the ground to get to where they are going, instead they navigate tree city. Scampering to gather food for the day. Methodically searching for the day’s allotment. They don’t spin or toll. They know they will be provided for; their creator provides for them.”

That evening, I found another big rock to perch upon with a blanket and watched over the lake. I loved seeing all nature’s details. The vibrant green weeds against the stark contrast of the rust brown rocks, the dormant gray trees and grass. The white and yellow flowers on the weeds. I was still and silent with no distractions. Because of this, I noticed all the landscape colors. I slept for 9 hours that night. We remained silent until 10:00 am on Sunday for a total of 40 hours of silence. After we broke our silence, Danielle led us with worship songs and scripture. We each shared what our experience had been. God met each of us right where we needed Him…all in unique and different ways. For me, it was God bringing me into the present to notice the leaves, the squirrels, and the color palette along the shoreline. My mind is usually so distracted with worries that it’s hard to be present. All in all, it was an absolute wonderful experience and I already went back for another one this April! (I’ll write about that experience soon too!)

Silence is an Neglected Gift

Our world is filled with distractions. Unless we are intentional with who and what is gaining our attention, the distractions will win every time. The silent retreat was a way to encourage me to find pockets of time to be silent. To put away the phone, take a walk in nature, and be silent and still. Silence is rare and an often-neglected gift.

Silence and Stillness

Updated October 18, 2024

There have been quite a few times that I’ve retreated to my bedroom for quiet time with God and this furbaby comes to find me. It’s a very cute and cuddly interruption. 😆 Purrcy is my sweet boy.

I recently completed a weekend retreat. During this weekend, I learned how to make space for God. I learned that it’s not nearly as important as what I say in prayer as it is being with God…thus silence and stillness. In this way, it’s much easier to hear God when He speaks. And He does speak to us, we just have to make space and learn to discern His voice. Don’t we need to hear from Him now more than ever?!

A while before this weekend retreat, I had started trying to ask God questions and listening. One Saturday morning before I got out of bed, I asked God, “how do you delight in me?” The first thing that popped into my mind was a picture of Purrcy and my eyes welled up with tears. If God delights in me like I delight in Purrcy, that says a lot to me. I’ve always been able to love more freely with my pets than I have people. I’m guarded with people, but animals are much easier…less risk of being hurt. God knew just how to answer my question that morning. It was an impactful answer…that He delights in me, He loves me freely with no holds barred. He loves me easily and He can use even a special furry friend to show me.

I hope you are seeing and hearing God in all the places, because He is whispering. He is in all the places around us. As your week or day wraps up, I hope you find space for silence and stillness, even just 2 minutes. For me, this practice helps me combat anxiety and the stress from my crazy, busy life.

Tag: God

100 Days of Prayer – Part 2

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