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7 Ways That Aging Has Surprised Me

Aging Well

This article originally published in Tish Co News.

1. Aging Skin

April is my birth month, and another year has come and gone. As I’ve advanced to my early 40’s, I’m reflecting on the ways that aging has surprised me such as how quickly my skin has changed. Even the skin on my hands. It is thinner, dryer with more wrinkles. I remember as a little girl one of my favorite things to do was to play with the skin on the back of my grandmother’s (Grannie Bea) hand. I was fascinated that if I pinched and pulled it up that it would stay there even after I let go. I would repeat that same pinch, pull, release over and over. I didn’t know or think about why that happened. I didn’t understand that as we age skin loses its elasticity and is the cause for the thing that fascinated me in my childhood. When I perform the pinch, pull, release test on my hand, it moves back into place quickly. For now, my skin’s elasticity is still in check. 

Tip: I recently started using this body lotion on my hands and arms and wow! The skin on the back of my hands looks and feels amazing! It really tones and has hydration that lasts.

2. Wrinkles and Gravity

Looking in the mirror, my face looks different, too. I admit that I’m guilty of pulling up the skin at my hairline to better understand the subtle work of gravity and time. In my mind’s eye I’m still 20-something years old and that’s the expectation when I see a photo or myself in the mirror. On the flip side, crow’s feet around my eyes means a life filled with laughter and smiles. The “11” lines between my eyes and forehead lines might mean stress and tension, but it also means the blessing of a job that challenges and grows me; it means friends and family that I love yet worry about too, it means life’s hardships that have shaped me, humbled me, and increased my character. Wrinkles are little marks of history our skin. 

Tip: A few products I use to help with the aging process:

Lash Boost: A true eye opener with long lashes.

Multi-Function Eye Cream: To improve the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles, sagging, and crow’s feet around the eyes.

Active Hydration Bright Eye Complex: For brightening, hydration around the eyes, and targets the signs of stress and fatigue.

3. Health

Gone are the days that I worry about numbers on a scale or the size of the jeans I fit into. Instead, the numbers I’m concerned about are my cholesterol, blood pressure, A1C, glucose numbers, and hormone levels. Health doesn’t equate into a certain look anymore (although that’s a nice byproduct). Health these days is about quality of life. Exercising to sustain muscle mass, which is so important as we age, being able to move around and be as active as I want to be chasing and picking up grandchildren. Being healthy from the inside out. Keeping my weight in check is an uphill battle; gaining weight in places I’d never gained before even though this is the healthiest I’ve eaten in my life! Little did I know how much hormones play into weight gain! If you haven’t had them checked, I’d highly recommend it. That’s for guys and girls! 

4. Career

A couple of years ago, I joined a Peer Mentoring Circle at work. I joined thinking I’d like help growing my career. I wanted to be mentored. Once I got to my first meeting, I realized I was one of 2 employees in my circle with the most years with Chevron. This year marks 14 years with my company. It was a shocking turn of the tables to be one of the older and more experienced in the room. I’ve taken that perspective forward now knowing I have a lot I’ve learned along the way and can share with others to help them navigate their career. I didn’t realize I’d entered mid-career because I still feel like I’m in my early career (I’m 20-something in my mind 😉 ). Aging means experience and that’s invaluable. 

5. Grief

I’ve now lived 18 years without my mom. I look back to 2007 and reflect on how young I was when she passed, 25 years old. My stepson is 25. To look at him as a reference point of the age I was when I lost my mom is surreal. At 25, you don’t have much life experience or life context in which to measure or compare big life events. I don’t know that I could have known or understood the loss in its entirety. Grief is funny that way. It doesn’t end, although it changes over time. I’m surprised at the ways it’s different now that I’m older; the years having created distance. I know that I’ve missed having a mother’s support in my life. I don’t know what that would have been like to have it, but I know it’s something that’s missing all the same.  You can read more about my mom in this post, Remembering Beyond Loss.

6. Confidence

As I reflect on my younger years, I’m thinking about how I wish I’d enjoyed life more, but I was too caught up with anxiety and worry. Fast forward a couple of decades later, I know myself better, I know my beliefs, I’m much more comfortable in my own skin and I wouldn’t trade it to be younger again. I understand more and more the adage, “youth is wasted on the young” because my oh my what I would do with youth now with the knowledge I have gained with aging.  

7. Wisdom

Each year grants the opportunity to be wiser and gain more perspective on this short life. I can appreciate having more experiences to draw from and I am thankful for getting older. I’m grateful for the maturity and wisdom that aging brings. The wisdom and blessings that are received can be given away to others. I’ve been blessed with time to make mistakes and learn from them. The years we’ve lived is an investment. We often think about investments in the form of financial. Time is a priceless investment. What reflections do you have as your birthday draws near? What have you learned and what will you do differently? How will you make the most of another birthday? What does aging well mean to you? 

Part 3: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

This article was originally published in the Tishomingo County Newspaper, linked here.

If you missed Parts 1 and 2 in the Career Series, catch up now! They are linked here and here.

There was finally some progress and stability on the job front and in my new life in Houston too. Before I left Super Suppers, I was recognized for my hard work and customer service. I was given a 2% raise. Can you calculate the 2% increase on $5.15/hour? 😉 It wasn’t much but it was recognition for a job well done and what the ‘mom and pop’ startup could afford at the time. It was a sincere gesture that they wanted to reward and recognize my work. I was even offered the position of Assistant Manager. Instead of pursuing advancement at Super Suppers, I had another job on the horizon. This time working for Downtown Paws, a dog walking and pet sitting company. This was a well-established business, and my job was to manage all the clients. I more than doubled my paycheck by taking this job. I travelled all over downtown Houston visiting many homes with furry, four legged clients. It wasn’t unusual to drive 100 miles each day. I had keys to each client’s home which resulted in having a keychain that resembled something like that of a janitor. Each stop consisted of dog walks ranging from short visits (a quick potty break) to 30 minute or 1-hour walks and playtime. My furry clients were all types of breeds…a French Bulldog named Olivia; a Great Dane named Lance; Boxers named Strider and Rose; Chocolate labs named Moose and Guinness; and everything in between. One of the job perks? Besides being with animals all day, I had a killer ankle sock tan line from all the time in the sun. 😎 

The best job perk was the confidence I gained from driving all over downtown Houston. If you’ve ever visited Houston, you will understand there’s a 610 loop and a Beltway 8; that I-10 runs East to West; I-45 runs North to South; I-59 runs Northeast to Southwest; 290 runs Northwest and the difference between the Med Center; Downtown; the Galleria; the Heights; Midtown, etc. With Houston being the 4th largest city in the United States, it can be quite overwhelming. I was still applying the working knowledge of a physical job to distract my brain from the anxiety. I also love animals, hello emotional support! What I didn’t know is how much Downtown Paws would help me build more self-esteem and confidence. This job took the intimidation out of driving in Houston. With navigating Houston now conquered, I proved to myself that I could do new, hard and scary things. I remained at Downtown Paws for 1.5 years. 

There is a series of ebbs and flows to life. It is never constant. Sometimes you can have success in your professional life while your personal life is struggling. For instance, even though I was gaining traction at work, something else was happening in my life. My mom was placed in the hospital the Christmas of 2006 while I was still working at Super Suppers and little did I know, she would never go home again. Her last 6 months of life were in the hospital, and she passed away June of 2007 while I was working with Downtown Paws. This was the second major life event for me in only one year’s time. The first was moving to Houston.  

Context is everything and hindsight too. As I reflect back at this painful time, I know I was in the right jobs at the right times. I needed the time, space and relatively low stress level jobs because of what I was enduring with the anxiety and then the sickness and death of my mom. I wasn’t and couldn’t have been ready for anything more career wise. God had placed me exactly where I needed to be.  

Life is all about peaks and valleys. Good times, bad times and the in between times. I just happened to experience a lot of valleys and bad times right at the beginning of what I thought was going to be this great new chapter of my life. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be, “hang in there. It does get better, I promise.” I don’t know that I would have many other words than that for my younger self, but I know that I would look directly into her eyes when I said those words. I would give her a warm hug and just sit with her for comfort and to process all the ways her world seems to be coming undone. For those that have experienced life altering change, be kind and patient with yourself and take it one day at a time. 

So, what happens next? How did I move forward? Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story in part 4 of this career series from a small-town girl in the big city.