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7 Ways That Aging Has Surprised Me

Aging Well

This article originally published in Tish Co News.

1. Aging Skin

April is my birth month, and another year has come and gone. As I’ve advanced to my early 40’s, I’m reflecting on the ways that aging has surprised me such as how quickly my skin has changed. Even the skin on my hands. It is thinner, dryer with more wrinkles. I remember as a little girl one of my favorite things to do was to play with the skin on the back of my grandmother’s (Grannie Bea) hand. I was fascinated that if I pinched and pulled it up that it would stay there even after I let go. I would repeat that same pinch, pull, release over and over. I didn’t know or think about why that happened. I didn’t understand that as we age skin loses its elasticity and is the cause for the thing that fascinated me in my childhood. When I perform the pinch, pull, release test on my hand, it moves back into place quickly. For now, my skin’s elasticity is still in check. 


Tip: I recently started using this body lotion on my hands and arms and wow! The skin on the back of my hands looks and feels amazing! It really tones and has hydration that lasts.


2. Wrinkles and Gravity

Looking in the mirror, my face looks different, too. I admit that I’m guilty of pulling up the skin at my hairline to better understand the subtle work of gravity and time. In my mind’s eye I’m still 20-something years old and that’s the expectation when I see a photo or myself in the mirror. On the flip side, crow’s feet around my eyes means a life filled with laughter and smiles. The “11” lines between my eyes and forehead lines might mean stress and tension, but it also means the blessing of a job that challenges and grows me; it means friends and family that I love yet worry about too, it means life’s hardships that have shaped me, humbled me, and increased my character. Wrinkles are little marks of history our skin. 


Tip: A few products I use to help with the aging process:

Lash Boost: A true eye opener with long lashes.

Multi-Function Eye Cream: To improve the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles, sagging, and crow’s feet around the eyes.

Active Hydration Bright Eye Complex: For brightening, hydration around the eyes, and targets the signs of stress and fatigue.


3. Health

Gone are the days that I worry about numbers on a scale or the size of the jeans I fit into. Instead, the numbers I’m concerned about are my cholesterol, blood pressure, A1C, glucose numbers, and hormone levels. Health doesn’t equate into a certain look anymore (although that’s a nice byproduct). Health these days is about quality of life. Exercising to sustain muscle mass, which is so important as we age, being able to move around and be as active as I want to be chasing and picking up grandchildren. Being healthy from the inside out. Keeping my weight in check is an uphill battle; gaining weight in places I’d never gained before even though this is the healthiest I’ve eaten in my life! Little did I know how much hormones play into weight gain! If you haven’t had them checked, I’d highly recommend it. That’s for guys and girls! 

4. Career

A couple of years ago, I joined a Peer Mentoring Circle at work. I joined thinking I’d like help growing my career. I wanted to be mentored. Once I got to my first meeting, I realized I was one of 2 employees in my circle with the most years with Chevron. This year marks 14 years with my company. It was a shocking turn of the tables to be one of the older and more experienced in the room. I’ve taken that perspective forward now knowing I have a lot I’ve learned along the way and can share with others to help them navigate their career. I didn’t realize I’d entered mid-career because I still feel like I’m in my early career (I’m 20-something in my mind 😉 ). Aging means experience and that’s invaluable. 

5. Grief

I’ve now lived 18 years without my mom. I look back to 2007 and reflect on how young I was when she passed, 25 years old. My stepson is 25. To look at him as a reference point of the age I was when I lost my mom is surreal. At 25, you don’t have much life experience or life context in which to measure or compare big life events. I don’t know that I could have known or understood the loss in its entirety. Grief is funny that way. It doesn’t end, although it changes over time. I’m surprised at the ways it’s different now that I’m older; the years having created distance. I know that I’ve missed having a mother’s support in my life. I don’t know what that would have been like to have it, but I know it’s something that’s missing all the same.  You can read more about my mom in this post, Remembering Beyond Loss.

6. Confidence

As I reflect on my younger years, I’m thinking about how I wish I’d enjoyed life more, but I was too caught up with anxiety and worry. Fast forward a couple of decades later, I know myself better, I know my beliefs, I’m much more comfortable in my own skin and I wouldn’t trade it to be younger again. I understand more and more the adage, “youth is wasted on the young” because my oh my what I would do with youth now with the knowledge I have gained with aging.  

7. Wisdom

Each year grants the opportunity to be wiser and gain more perspective on this short life. I can appreciate having more experiences to draw from and I am thankful for getting older. I’m grateful for the maturity and wisdom that aging brings. The wisdom and blessings that are received can be given away to others. I’ve been blessed with time to make mistakes and learn from them. The years we’ve lived is an investment. We often think about investments in the form of financial. Time is a priceless investment. What reflections do you have as your birthday draws near? What have you learned and what will you do differently? How will you make the most of another birthday? What does aging well mean to you? 

Intentionally Aware

Our modern world 🌎 is so fast paced. The expectations are right here, right now, and on demand. Today’s modern life depicts that we can have anything and everything at the touch of a button 🔘. Consider Netflix with endless streaming options; or Amazon with a conveyor belt of products to your front door 🚪 with what your heart desires. Consider DoorDash making food options seem endless and easy. What’s wrong with having options at the touch of a button? On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with it. However, there’s a better question to ask instead: What are we missing?

How much time ⏱️ do you spend deciding what to watch on your streaming service? So. Many. Options. Anxiety creeps in about picking the wrong show or movie to watch because there might be something better if I just keep looking 👀. How much time do you spend binge watching a series? Has that box popped up on the screen asking “Are you still watching?” because the same show is still playing after watching 3 episodes. What are we missing?

Time. ⌛️

Time scrolling through too many options. Hours spent watching episode after episode. What else could you do with that time? Read a book, learn a new skill, study for a class, practice a hobby, pray, hang out with a friend or your spouse, volunteer. Are we intentionally making the decision of how we want to spend our time? Or are we allowing our time to slip away? ⌛️

What about shopping online with a business like Amazon? What are we missing?

Delayed gratification. Money. Social interactions.

Amazon is like a genie in a bottle. Make a wish for a product and it arrives lickity split except for that whole exchange of money 💵 thing. 2️⃣0️⃣ years ago, if I wanted a new shirt, I would have to plan when I would drive to the nearest mall. The next thought would be checking to see if there was a sale happening soon so my hard-earned money 💵 stretched further. I might have planned to go with a friend to make it a more enjoyable experience. 2️⃣0️⃣ years ago, I would intentionally plan when I would shop, how I would spend my money, and who I would bring along with me. All the planning and thought also meant I was delaying my gratification of getting a shirt right away. We say “no” to our children because it’s not healthy to have a piece of candy anytime they want it. Are we saying “n”o to ourselves often enough to ensure we have a healthy delayed gratification muscle? 💪

What about a service like DoorDash? What are we missing?

Cooking skills. Health. Money. Family heritage.

Beyond the excessive expense of the service, fast and processed food 🍕has eroded our health. Our bodies need nutrient dense foods 🥗. If we cooked more often at home, we would have better control of the ingredients we are putting in our bodies to nourish them well. Developing cooking skills are being limited by allowing restaurants to do it instead. Cooking is a major life and survival skill. There’s no need to be a Chef, however, everyone needs to know their way around a kitchen, how to plan a meal, and know where ingredients are in the grocery 🛒 store. What about your grandmother’s recipes 📝, something your mom or aunt always made? Is it possible that family heritage is slipping away without the knowledge, practice, and cooking skills to keep them going? Regardless, you are paying a hefty price 💲 for convenience.

Don’t get me wrong. I have a Netflix subscription, an Amazon Prime account, and I have DoorDashed on a rare occasion. These options aren’t wrong, however, it is VERY easy to slip into living your life on auto pilot. The endless scrolling, buying, and eating out because it’s easy. There’s a price 💲 to pay for convenience. There’s always a price!

One very valid argument is our busy, hectic schedules demand that we continue moving at lightening ⚡️ speed. I agree, our schedules aren’t slowing down and I would suggest using these options as measured 📏 conveniences. Measure them by being intentionally aware. Be intentional when you need to use them. Be intentional in the money 💵 you spend on convenience. Be intentional in what you are trading for your time ⌛️. Be intentional of how your decisions are impacting your health 🩺. Don’t lose yourself in the haze of busy and put your brain 🧠 on autopilot. Live the life you have to the fullest and intentionally choose what works best for you. Let’s be aware of what modern conveniences provide, how they can make our lives easier, and let’s also consider what we are missing or giving up by using them. Be intentionally intentional with your time ⌛️, money 💵, and health 🩺.