My full time job has been marked with lots of feelings this year.
My company has had 15 – 20% headcount reductions (read as layoffs).
I was in the first round of reductions. Thankfully, I am still gainfully employed.
That is not true for many people, including the team I was a part for the last 2 years.
My former team’s positions were eliminated entirely. At the end of the first round, 2 teammates elected to retire or voluntarily leave; 4 were left standing (meaning they were laid off); and 3 of us were placed in other positions.
How rapidly it all happened was shocking. One day we were a team and the next I would not see some of my team members anymore.
Corporate world can be and is brutal. I’ve personally experienced headcount reductions 4 times in my 14 year career so far. I’m certain there will be more.
Beginning at the end of 2024, my team and others began preparing employees for what was coming.
The uncertainty that lingers for months in advance of knowing if you have a job or not is stressful!
We lean on tools to strengthen our resiliency during these times. These tools equip us for what will ultimately come. They remind us to be flexible and lean into strengths. Focus on what we can control and loosen our grip on what we cannot.
They are good reminders during this time. And while these tools don’t take away the hardship of enduring one of these reductions, it can help shift our mindset..
In February of 2025, I gave a presentation about Feelings and Resilience. Here is what I shared.
Referring to the Feeling Wheel, if you had to name the feeling(s) you have right now, what would it be?
Are you surprised that there are so many feelings? And yet, they can connect back to 6 core feelings.
What feelings do you tend to ignore?
Do you think it’s possible to ignore “bad” feelings and only experience “good” feelings? Why or why not?
Early this year, I finished reading Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection.
What I didn’t know before I read the book was how much resiliency is incorporated into imperfection.
Brene writes, when we become more accepting of uncomfortable feelings, we become more flexible and can enjoy life more fully even with feelings of discomfort.
In her book she notes:
- Shame, guilt, fear, despair, disappointment, and sadness are difficult feelings that tend to cause vunerability, discomfort, and pain.
- The most powerful feelings we experience have very sharp points, like the tip of a thorn.
- Which usually leads to modes of distraction to get away from the uncomfortable feelings. Such as…mindless scrolling, eating, drinking, shopping, staying busy, work, choas, etc.
Everyone moves away from feelings of discomfort.
We also must remember that we cannot selectively ignore feelings.
“When we numb the dark, we numb the light.”
We can’t make a list of “bad” feelings and say, “I’m going to ignore these” and then list the positive feelings and say, “I’m going to fully engage in these!”
It doesn’t work that way.
Let’s explore the feeling of Joy.
To love and/or believe in something with your whole heart; to engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees…these involve the risk of vulnerability and often pain.
AND
Great joy can come from them.
Feelings of hopelessness, fear, blame, pain, discomfort, vulnerability, and disconnection sabotage our resilience and well being.
The only experience broad and fierce enough to combat a list like that is the belief that we’re all in this together and that something greater than ourselves has the capacity to bring love and compassion into our lives.
Practicing spirituality is what brings about healing and creates resilience.
Spirituality is being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.
Here is an example of the ways I’ve leaned into my spirituality practice.
Having a sense of purpose, meaning, and perspective in our lives allows us to develop understanding and move forward. Without purpose, meaning, and perspective, it is easy to lose hope, numb our emotions, or become overwhelmed by our circumstances.
We feel reduced, less capable, and lost in the face of struggle. The heart of spirituality is connection and through that, we won’t feel alone.
How do you know that you are ignoring uncomfortable feelings?
Recognizing and leaning into (not away) from discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace.
We live in a both/and world.
We can experience discomfort and joy. They are not mutually exclusive.
When you have the awareness, what can you do to practice leaning into the discomfort?
How can you lean into the discomfort of vulnerability and let joy in as well?
Exercise Prompt:
Hold up both hands, palms up and open. Can you practice holding the feelings of discomfort in one hand and the “good” feelings in the other hand? In fact, write on one open palm your feelings of discomfort and then write the “good” feelings on the other open palm. Practicing holding and experiencing both.
