leadership | Perspective Confessions

Feelings and Resiliency

My full time job has been marked with lots of feelings this year.

My company has had 15 – 20% headcount reductions (read as layoffs).

I was in the first round of reductions. Thankfully, I am still gainfully employed.

That is not true for many people, including the team I was a part for the last 2 years.

My former team’s positions were eliminated entirely. At the end of the first round, 2 teammates elected to retire or voluntarily leave; 4 were left standing (meaning they were laid off); and 3 of us were placed in other positions.

How rapidly it all happened was shocking. One day we were a team and the next I would not see some of my team members anymore.

Corporate world can be and is brutal. I’ve personally experienced headcount reductions 4 times in my 14 year career so far. I’m certain there will be more.

Beginning at the end of 2024, my team and others began preparing employees for what was coming.

The uncertainty that lingers for months in advance of knowing if you have a job or not is stressful!

We lean on tools to strengthen our resiliency during these times. These tools equip us for what will ultimately come. They remind us to be flexible and lean into strengths. Focus on what we can control and loosen our grip on what we cannot.

They are good reminders during this time. And while these tools don’t take away the hardship of enduring one of these reductions, it can help shift our mindset..

In February of 2025, I gave a presentation about Feelings and Resilience. Here is what I shared.

Referring to the Feeling Wheel, if you had to name the feeling(s) you have right now, what would it be?

Are you surprised that there are so many feelings? And yet, they can connect back to 6 core feelings.

What feelings do you tend to ignore?

Do you think it’s possible to ignore “bad” feelings and only experience “good” feelings? Why or why not?

Early this year, I finished reading Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

What I didn’t know before I read the book was how much resiliency is incorporated into imperfection.

Brene writes, when we become more accepting of uncomfortable feelings, we become more flexible and can enjoy life more fully even with feelings of discomfort.

In her book she notes:

Shame, guilt, fear, despair, disappointment, and sadness are difficult feelings that tend to cause vunerability, discomfort, and pain.
The most powerful feelings we experience have very sharp points, like the tip of a thorn.
Which usually leads to modes of distraction to get away from the uncomfortable feelings. Such as…mindless scrolling, eating, drinking, shopping, staying busy, work, choas, etc.

Everyone moves away from feelings of discomfort.

We also must remember that we cannot selectively ignore feelings.

“When we numb the dark, we numb the light.”

We can’t make a list of “bad” feelings and say, “I’m going to ignore these” and then list the positive feelings and say, “I’m going to fully engage in these!”

It doesn’t work that way.

Let’s explore the feeling of Joy.

To love and/or believe in something with your whole heart; to engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees…these involve the risk of vulnerability and often pain.

AND

Great joy can come from them.

Feelings of hopelessness, fear, blame, pain, discomfort, vulnerability, and disconnection sabotage our resilience and well being.

The only experience broad and fierce enough to combat a list like that is the belief that we’re all in this together and that something greater than ourselves has the capacity to bring love and compassion into our lives.

Practicing spirituality is what brings about healing and creates resilience.

Spirituality is being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.

Here is an example of the ways I’ve leaned into my spirituality practice.

Having a sense of purpose, meaning, and perspective in our lives allows us to develop understanding and move forward. Without purpose, meaning, and perspective, it is easy to lose hope, numb our emotions, or become overwhelmed by our circumstances.

We feel reduced, less capable, and lost in the face of struggle. The heart of spirituality is connection and through that, we won’t feel alone.

How do you know that you are ignoring uncomfortable feelings?

Recognizing and leaning into (not away) from discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace.

We live in a both/and world.

We can experience discomfort and joy. They are not mutually exclusive.

When you have the awareness, what can you do to practice leaning into the discomfort?

How can you lean into the discomfort of vulnerability and let joy in as well?

Exercise Prompt:

Hold up both hands, palms up and open. Can you practice holding the feelings of discomfort in one hand and the “good” feelings in the other hand? In fact, write on one open palm your feelings of discomfort and then write the “good” feelings on the other open palm. Practicing holding and experiencing both.

An Overlooked Tool for Leaders

Are you a leader of people?

Are you an influential leader? Influential doesn’t always mean you have direct reports. It means you collaborate with and guide others toward outcomes, often without formal authority. This ability to influence is essential for moving initiatives forward and being successful in your role.

Hint: we are all influential leaders!

This applies in the workplace, in your community, and at home. For example, parents—especially of teenagers—quickly learn that influence is far more powerful than control. The same principle applies to managers, project leads, and peers working across departments.

Too often we think leadership means being “the one in charge” with a team reporting to you. In reality, the most effective leaders know that influence, not control, is what drives collaboration, innovation, and long-term results.

One area all leaders have in common is working with people. Whether it’s direct reports or those you’re influencing to move initiatives and projects forward, managing and influencing people is a complex skill set—one you learn and refine over time.

Leaders are not mind readers. People are many shades of gray, shaped by their unique experiences, perspectives, and stories.

Every individual sees the world through their own lens, influenced by both their career and personal life. Effective leaders embrace this complexity and work to understand, adapt, and connect.

Leadership can also reach frustration and overwhelm quickly.

With constant technological change, leaders are stretched thin—running from meeting to meeting while processing an overwhelming amount of information.

The human mind was not designed to handle this relentless pace with clarity.

In such a fast-paced world, we’ve lost the art of slowing down. Reflection has become a forgotten tool.

Slowing down can feel archaic when demands push us to go faster and faster.

But the question remains: What are we missing by moving so fast? How would you even know what’s slipping past you when life is lived at lightning speed?

One underutilized tool for leaders is keeping a journal. Not typing notes into a phone or laptop—but physically writing in a journal with a physical pen and paper.

The physical act of writing slows down the mind automatically.

It creates space for reflection, and helps leaders process their experiences, challenges, and decisions in a deeper way.

It allows leaders to know and understand their unique perspectives. Which in turn will enhance their decision making every day.

A leader’s unique perspective is the source of creativity and competitive advantage.

In today’s AI world, tapping into creativity and having a competitive advantage is paramount.

Without slowing down and using journaling as a tool, we lose the art of listening to ourselves and our innate wisdom.

How do you create a discipline of journaling?

Don’t over complicate it!
Buy a journal.
Set aside 15 minutes of uninterrupted time either at the beginning or end of your day to journal.
Block that time on your calendar!
Close your computer.
Silence your notifications on your phone.
Set a timer for 15 minutes.
Write.

“Ok, great”, you might say. “But, what in the world do I write about? Especially when this feels like a weird, new thing to do?”

Great question!

Journal Prompts for Leaders.

Pick one to get started. What you journal about could either be personal or professional.

What has been at the forefront of my mind today?
What is keeping me up at night?
What has been a common theme this week/last week?
What are my priorities? Do those priorities stack up against the work I’m doing and meetings I’m attending?
What needs to change?
What am I missing?
What is a circular thought pattern I’m having that I can’t find a solution?

Bonus Tips:

Let yourself write whatever comes to mind.
Do not have an agenda.
No judgements in what you write about or don’t write about.
Let the writing flow.
Don’t be surprised if you start writing about one topic and you finish on another topic.
Trust the process.
Trust that whatever you write down is exactly what needed to be written and reflected upon.
You just might surprise yourself.

Asking ourselves questions and slowing down to reflect brings us back to what is meaningful, what we believe in, and overall gives us purpose.

And if leaders reconnect to their purpose, that purpose will flow through them to those they influence. <– this is motivating and inspiring! It will have a ripple effect on your team and those you work alongside.

And all of this is a great ROI!

Challenge: Commit to journaling 15 minutes everyday for a month. Then, reflect on how it helped and enhanced your leadership.

In a world where we feel like we can’t slow down, it’s often exactly what leaders need.

For more reasons to journal, check this blog post: 12 Reasons to Keep a Journal

6 Ways to Know If Coaching is Right for You?

Meet My Ideal Client

You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from coaching. You do, however, need clarity, curiosity, and a desire to grow. Whether you’re navigating a career pivot, leading a team, getting your finances in order, or simply longing for a more grounded life, the type of coaching I offer creates the space to pause, reflect, and move forward with purpose.

So how do you know if coaching with me is right for you?

Let’s take a look.

You Want to Grow, Not Just Survive

You may feel capable, but also stuck. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, made the lists, and still aren’t moving the needle the way you hoped. Coaching helps you break out of survival mode and step into strategic, intentional growth.

You’re Ready to Get Clear and Take Action

Many of my clients come to coaching with vague goals. They express a desire such as “I want a better job.” Some say, “I need to stop overspending.” Others mention, “I just want to feel more at peace.” Coaching helps define what “better,” “stop,” and “peace” actually look like, and then map a path to get there.

You’re Open to Support and Feedback

Coaching is not consulting or therapy; it’s a collaborative process. I’ll ask the questions you may not have thought to ask. I’ll notice patterns, challenge assumptions, and offer frameworks to help you see and move differently. That works best when you’re open to honest reflection, feedback, and practical support.

You Want to Lead, Communicate, and Live with Integrity

Whether you’re leading a team or leading your own life, how you show up matters. I help you improve communication with peers, teams, and senior leaders. We work on presence, empathy, clarity, and confidence…not as buzzwords, but as daily practices.

You’re Done Hustling Without a Plan

You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through life. If you’re tired of feeling busy but ineffective, you’re in the right place. If you want to shift from spinning your wheels to seeing real progress, this is where you belong. We’ll use proven tools to help you slow down, set intentional goals, and make peace a priority.

What You Bring to the Table: The Client’s Role

Great coaching is a two-way relationship. If you’re considering coaching with me, here’s what I ask of you:

Have a goal in mind that you want to achieve.
Recognize that you haven’t been successful reaching it on your own.
Be curious about what’s missing and open to support.
Show up prepared to discuss your progress and challenges.
Be ready to apply the resources and tools we discuss.
Be open to transformational change and the work required to get there.
Be willing to experiment with new strategies.
Be committed to your goals, and persistent in pursuing them.

If that sounds like you, coaching can be a powerful catalyst. Let’s get started!

If you’re not quite there yet — that’s okay too. Sometimes readiness is the first step.

Let’s Talk

Curious if coaching is right for this season of your life? I’d love to hear your story and explore how we might work together.

Let’s connect and start mapping your next step with purpose, clarity, and momentum.

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Thank you for your response. ✨

What is Coaching?

Think of a coach you’ve had in your life or maybe your kids’ life. What did they do that was so effective? Coaches do many things, like:

Encourage
Teach techniques
Improve Performance
Identify gaps in performance
Challenge
Inspire
Hold you Accountable
Create a plan (or playbook) to reach your goals
Build trust
Unlock the next level

What else would you add to this list?

I am not a sports type of coach, although coaching for me started in the fitness industry. Read more about that here. While coaching began for me in fitness, it has evolved into Financial Coaching, Career Coaching, Leadership Coaching, and coaching on Personal Wellness. Most people would attribute the bulleted list above to a sports coach…these descriptors also describe what I do in coaching clients about their finances, careers, leadership, and personal wellness.

This type of coaching is a one-on-one conversation with a purpose. I don’t use equipment outside on a field in my coaching. Although I do have different sets of tools and resources to help you achieve your goals. I teach you what the tools are and how to apply them.

Financial, Career, Leadership, and Personal Wellness coaching focuses on the individual. I coach the whole person. What does that mean? It means that I aim to not only help find solutions to problems, but to facilitate transformational change. Focusing only on finding solutions would limit the depth of change for clients. Humans are complex beings made up of emotions, values, systems of beliefs, etc. These parts must be considered in the foundation of how we make decisions and take action. Otherwise, real change may be limited.

How does it work? If you decided you wanted to be coached, we would first meet to discuss your goals. Then, we would get very specific on what that goal is, and determine how we would measure progress. From there, we would map out a plan to get you to your goal. This plan would let us know how many coaching sessions would be needed.

As Your Coach, You Can Expect…

My job as a coach is to identify gaps and equip you with tools and resources. Educate you on how to apply the tools and resources. I ask you powerful questions to unlock self-discovery and insight. I hold you accountable and shift your mindset. I listen and build trust with you. I walk alongside you and give you feedback on what’s working well and what isn’t. I inject hope, encourage you, and challenge you. I inspire you to get out of your comfort zone and achieve your goals!

Expectations of the Client…

Your job as the client is to:

come to the coaching session prepared to discuss progress and challenges
apply the resources and tools
be open to transformational change and the work to get there
be open to experimenting with new strategies
put in the hard work
be committed to your goals
persistent in achieving your goals

Are you ready to get after your goals? Fill out the form below and let me know how I can best coach you. Let’s go!

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Thank you for your response. ✨

Part 7: Career Confessions From a Small Town Girl in the Big City

If you are just joining this series, catch up here: Career Confessions parts 1-6.

Career Confessions Bonus

Surprise, there’s a bonus! The Career Confessions series isn’t done yet! The story is still unfolding. As I was originally writing the Career Confession series back in 2023, I received an offer for a new job within Chevron. This time the position of Leadership Coach. In this role, I would coach leaders. Brand new leaders, influential leaders, seasoned leaders leading new teams, and any individual contributor that would like to take part in coaching. Each one of us has a leader within capable of learning leadership behaviors, and exercising them for lasting, sustainable results at work.

Imposter Syndrome

With any new job, feelings and thoughts can surface that say “I’m not qualified”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t know what I’m doing”, “why did they pick me?!”, “what if they find out I can’t do this?!”, “what if they find out I don’t have the skills?!”, and on and on the fearful thoughts spiral. I am not and was not immune. I had many of these exact thoughts when I was selected for this opportunity. This experience has a name, it’s called Imposter Syndrome. It’s not only limited to work…you might experience it if you are a new parent or in a new season of parenting. You might experience it when caring for an aging parent, or a new volunteer opportunity. Anything that gets you out of your comfort zone could have you experiencing imposter syndrome.

My new job as a Leadership Coach had me all in imposter syndrome. Anxiety had taken center stage a few times and I was battling through it. Remember the anxiety I wrote about experiencing in Part 1 and Part 2 of this series. Well, I was experiencing it again, but in a different way. I have tools to combat anxiety, and it was time to use them. I began thinking about Moses. Yes, Moses, the guy that God chose to be the spokesperson and leader of the Israelites. I felt that God had called me to this Leadership Coaching job and had created a way for me to do this job even if I felt over my head at times. I looked up the passages in Exodus and prayed through it. This is one way I battled with anxiety and imposter syndrome. I knew that if God had appeared to Moses in a burning bush and Moses said, “no, not me” to God, he must have had some serious imposter syndrome. I found comfort in knowing Moses felt less than, felt he wasn’t worthy, felt he didn’t speak well, felt he wasn’t up to the challenge. God doesn’t make mistakes and Moses had been chosen. This is how I prayed through scripture.

Praying Through Scripture

Scripture: Exodus 3:10-11 – So now, go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt. But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

Prayer: Lord, how many times have you called me to action? How many times have I not heard or chose not to hear? Fear standing between you and me and what you are calling me to do. I am thankful for your word and for Moses. He doubted his worth. He doubted you, Lord. He doubted his capabilities.

Scripture: Exodus 3:12 – And God said, “I will be with you…”

Prayer: And yet you were patient and reassured Moses.

Scripture: Exodus 4:1 – Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me.”

Scripture: Exodus 4:10-15 – Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”

Prayer: Even with your reassurance, Lord, Moses still doubts.

Scripture: Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite?” I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you and will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.”

Prayer: Lord, you were resolute in your choosing of Moses for the Israelites’ spokesperson. You pursued him. You were steadfast. May I remember this when I feel your calling of me. Thank you for your word that shows the imperfection of people. There is comfort in the human disbelief…that it’s not just me. Your calling is intentional. You teach, walk beside, and equip those you call. You never forsake. Thank you, Father, for showing me in your word that imposter syndrome is not new; that doubt is common in human flesh. May I apply this wisdom to my life. Hide this teaching in my heart. Grant me courage to overcome the doubt and fear to step out in faith. Help me, Father, to humbly obey and follow you. Thank you for your grace and your patience with me as I continually work to train my ears to hear your callings amongst all the worldly noise. Give me sensitivity to your whispers and nudges. Amen

Tools to Battle Through Imposter Syndrome

Sometimes falling on our knees in prayer is the exact right way to battle. Did this prayer make the imposter syndrome go away? No, it didn’t. However, it kept me showing up to each meeting with each leader. It led me to pray before each coaching session and invite God into that conversation. These scriptures were a reminder that God equips who He has called. He doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I knew by showing up even with the discomfort of imposter syndrome, I was going to gain more and more confidence. I was going to make mistakes. I was going to learn from them. I was going to be better because I was scared and sometimes being scared is a great motivator. It’s motivation to learn quickly so you don’t feel that way anymore. God was equipping me through the fear and through the imposter syndrome.

Scripture: James 1:2-4 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I was only going to get through it by walking through it one step at a time. He used this opportunity to hold up a mirror to show me all the things I had the capabilities to do and had not recognized in myself yet. He was showing me that I was equipped all along, but I needed a nudge (or push) out in the middle of the ring…to feel exposed to grow into who He made me to be. I can’t tell you how many of the leaders I have coached that have told me about their imposter syndrome too. No one is immune. We are all fallible human beings. We are all capable of learning. We are all capable of growing. We are better by showing up and doing it scared. Don’t let the anxiety or fear prove you right. You prove the anxiety and fear wrong. Prove the imposter syndrome wrong.

If you know someone that has recently changed jobs and is experiencing anxiety or imposter syndrome, please share this blog post and this series with them.

Coach Carlynn

Coaching started for me when I became a fitness 💪 instructor in my late 20’s. I fell in love with fitness classes, and one of the fitness instructors I fangirled over encouraged me to get certified to teach 👩🏻‍🏫.

So, I did.

I LOVED ♥️ every minute of teaching, coaching, encouraging others to push past their limits, and achieve their goals 🎯. There’s something addicting about watching someone have a “light bulb💡 moment”. A moment they completed an exercise, lifted heavier weights, completed an entire class, lost the weight, got stronger, etc. All things they had told themselves they could not do.

And then…they did. I got to witness this over and over and it never got old!

Fast forward to the year 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣0️⃣, the start of the pandemic. I wasn’t instructing fitness classes anymore. Instead, I found myself working from home full time. As with many industries and corporations, 2020 was a challenging year. The oil and gas industry was no different and my corporation went through a major headcount reduction starting with executive level all the way down to hourly employees. So much was out of my control with the uncertainty of my job and with the virus. To help pass the time ⏰ and focus on something that was in my control, I completed Financial Coach Master Training, earned my certificate 📜, and became a Financial Coach.

Many may not know that I’m a nerd 🤓 when it comes to money 💵 . My undergrad degree from Mississippi State University is in Finance so you’d think that’s when the nerd came out, but it wasn’t. I’ve always been into saving money, even from my youth. It wasn’t odd for me to put on a jacket and find money in it. Money that someone gave me and I put in a pocket to save for later.

In my Junior year of college I read the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. After reading his book 📕, I would occasionally listen to his radio 📻 talk show. It made sense. I loved that there were baby steps and I could understand it. Now, mind you, I did not follow the baby steps to a “T”. When I graduated college, I had student loans, a credit card, and a car 🚘 note.

Fast forward through a lot of life and getting remarried in my mid 30’s. We found ourselves in debt. Between tax debt, car 🚘 loan, and student loans; we owed just shy of $30,000. We followed the baby steps and got out of debt within a year’s time. Now we continue to work to pay off our house early and are aggressively saving for retirement. With the 1️⃣1️⃣ year age difference between my husband and me, I hope to retire when he does. That cuts off about 10 years of retirement contributions and savings for me, so it’s hustle time! 👊🏼 #goals

In 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣3️⃣, I became a Leadership Coach in my corporate oil and gas job. I work one-on-one with leaders with direct reports and influential leaders. Influential leaders are ones that may not have a team reporting to them, but they have many people that they must influence to deliver results and progress projects. In reality, we are all influential leaders in our jobs. During coaching sessions I help clients develop goals that we will work on together. During sessions, we talk through challenges, progress, tools 🛠️ , and potentially even new or refreshed goals. My role as a leadership coach is not to solve the problem for my clients, rather to ask ❓ the right questions , give feedback, reframe, and offer perspective that helps the client find their solution.

Anyone starting to see 👀 a theme here?

Coaching.

Regardless if it’s fitness 💪 coaching, leadership coaching, or financial 💵coaching similar skills apply. I’ve always had in inner coach within me. Especially if you’ve read my writings very much, you’ll see 👀 or read 📖 it. I’m frequently asking questions, encouraging improvement and progress, etc. What goals do you have? What are you willing to do differently to achieve them? Who is holding you accountable? What’s holding you back? What is your plan to achieve your goals?

Coaching is all about finding the answers to those questions, creating a plan to execute, and having accountability along the way.

Stay tuned, I’ll have an opening for financial coaching soon! Details to come!

Tag: leadership