Tag: mental health

Too Much Stuff, Too Little Energy: The Rule of 5

Too Much Stuff, Too Little Energy: The Rule of 5

There are seasons when motivation is high and energy feels abundant. And then there are seasons when everything feels heavy—when feeling overwhelmed at home creeps in and even the smallest tasks feel bigger than they should.

This post is for those seasons.

After Christmas this year, I noticed something shift in me. While I was (and still am) genuinely thankful and grateful for the gifts I received, I also felt more overwhelmed in my home than usual. More items. More things to find space for. More decisions.

It wasn’t that the gifts were unwanted—it was that they were more. And that feeling became a signal.

A signal that it might be time to reassess how manageable my home felt. A signal that some organizing and simplifying was needed to decrease the overwhelm. And maybe, down the road, it’s also a signal that our family may need to rethink how we approach Christmas and gift-giving altogether—but that’s a reflection for another blog post and another time.

What I knew for certain was this: I needed a gentle way to move forward.

Several years ago, I had faced a similar feeling while staring at the pile of mail on my kitchen island. You know the one—bills, junk mail, notes, random papers that don’t have an immediate home. It had quietly become the catch-all, and every time I looked at it, I felt behind.

I wanted it gone—but I didn’t have the energy for a full overhaul.

So I made a rule.

I call it The Rule of 5.

The rule is simple: remove five items.

That’s it.

Five pieces of mail. Five decisions. Five small actions. They could be thrown away, filed, or placed where they actually belonged. No sorting marathon. No perfection required. Just five.

At most, it took about five minutes.

feeling overwhelmed at home

There was one important addition to the rule, though. Since mail comes daily, I also had to make sure new mail didn’t undo the progress. That meant immediately throwing away junk mail or filing important pieces instead of letting them land back on the pile.

What surprised me was how quickly the stack disappeared.

Not because I tackled it all at once—but because small, consistent steps quietly did their work. Before long, the pile wasn’t an issue anymore.

That experience taught me something important:
small steps don’t just create progress—they create momentum.

Now, I use the Rule of 5 in other areas of my home.

Recently, I opened a bathroom drawer that had slowly become overwhelming. You know the kind—the one you open carefully because you’re not sure what might spill out. Instead of shutting it and walking away, I applied the same rule.

I removed five things.

A couple of items—nice hair ties—went into a box for an upcoming garage sale. The remaining three items were either thrown away or put somewhere else in the bathroom where they made more sense.

That’s it. Five things.

The drawer isn’t perfect yet. But it’s more manageable. And more importantly, I started.

That’s the beauty of the Rule of 5. It lowers the barrier to entry. It doesn’t demand motivation—it creates it. Once you see progress, five can turn into ten. Ten into fifteen. Momentum builds not because you forced it, but because progress feels good. And feeling overwhelmed at home decreases.

Over time, this rule helps:

  • bring order to small pockets of your home
  • reduce overwhelm
  • create a sense of capability and follow-through

And maybe most importantly, it reminds us that progress doesn’t have to be loud or dramatic to be real.

If you’re feeling stuck today—overwhelmed by clutter, tasks, or life in general—consider this your permission to start small.

Five items.
Five minutes.
One small win.

Because small steps, repeated over time, really do add up.

What is quietly asking for your attention—not to be fixed all at once, but to be tended to in small, faithful steps?

Battling the Hard Parts of Life with Therapy

Battling the Hard Parts of Life with Therapy

May – Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness month, and I would like to share my journey with therapy with you. You might recall the Career Confessions series I wrote recently. Part of the “confession” was my struggle with anxiety. Early on, it interfered with my work and job search. 

Why Therapy?

The journey with therapy, however, started for me in college. A visit here and there to the on-campus therapist was grounding. At the time, my mom had cancer and being away from home for this first time was hard. I had tough life questions. The therapist on campus helped me zoom out and then zoom in to the questions. This process allowed me to have a more balanced thought process. How many times are we so focused on a question or situation? We can’t zoom out from it to gain a better perspective. For me, it’s often. 😊 A therapist can help with that! 

Therapy Journey

A large part to my therapy journey is about my mom. She was sick much of my childhood. I was one of her caretakers while growing up. I was a primary caretaker from the ages of 15 – 18 (until I went off to college). I grew up fast! I was nominated as “Most Dependable” my senior year of high school. While it was an honor to receive that nomination, I earned it in my private home life. I learned the ultimate dependability by being my mom’s caretaker. 

There are a lot of positives that come from learning responsibility at a young age. However, it can also be very confusing. Caretaking an adult is hard for an adult let alone a child doing so. At the age of 25, my mom passed away. She was 55. I don’t think anyone is prepared to lose a parent. Losing my mom unearthed some “life stuff” I needed to address. I sought out therapy to talk through my mom’s death. There was a lot of processing I needed to do. Sometimes we are so close to a situation that we can’t see the full picture. A therapist can help with that. 

Therapy = Advocacy

I have learned through therapy that my mother’s sickness shaped me, both good and bad. The good is easier to hold some days than the bad. It’s easy to become fixated on one or the other. The point of therapy is to help you hold or see all aspects about yourself. At first, if you struggle with doing this, your therapist is there to help you until you are able to do it on your own. This is where advocacy comes into play and why it means so much at my core. My therapist has been my advocate in so many ways. Giving words to situations when I had none. She gave me a voice when I didn’t have one. And she has been there to hold my hand in all the hard things that I’ve been through. I can honestly say I would not be here right now if it weren’t for the gift of therapy. It has been life-changing. I have learned life-changing skills in therapy from navigating difficult relationships, to work challenges, to having compassion for myself. And having compassion for yourself is key to having compassion for others. Looking in the mirror, in my opinion, can be the biggest adversary you face. I know it has been for me. I can certainly stand in my own way. Therapy can help you get out of your own way! 

Life is Short

Therapy is hard, not going to lie. I don’t always like my therapist. She pushes me to look at the hard parts of life. She encourages me to talk about and process them too. Therapy has given me centeredness, truth, and grounding that is priceless. Maybe I would have gotten to this place on my own. Even if I had, it would have taken me so much longer. And don’t we deserve to get to a better place in life as fast as we can? Life is a vapor, James 4:14.  

Work on Yourself…for You and Others

A wise friend told me once, “Our work on ourselves is a lifetime and one day.” This means we are always inching toward being better versions of ourselves. Another quote that resonated with me: “The more we can understand our own thoughts, feelings, and emotions, the more we can understand someone else’s.” This is so true! The better you can see yourself, the better you can see others. There’s certainly more I could write about, but I will pause here. I hope this helps you seek a therapist if you’ve been thinking about it. And if you’ve never thought about it, I hope this helps you see a different side to therapy. I think we could all use a good therapist in our lives. Life is hard enough, and we deserve to be better people, for ourselves and each other. 

Mental Health Awareness – Therapy

Therapy

May is Mental Health Awareness month. This post will come with discomfort, however, I believe it is for the greater good and thus I want to lean into the discomfort and share my journey with therapy.

The journey with therapy started for me in college. A visit here and there to the on-campus college therapist was grounding for me. At the time, my mom had cancer and being away from home for this first time was hard. I had tough life questions and the therapist on campus helped me zoom out and then zoom in to the questions and thus have a more balanced decision. How many times are we so focused on a question or situation that we can’t zoom out from it to gain a better perspective? For me, it’s often. 😊 A therapist can help with that!

The larger part to my therapy journey is my mom. She was sick much of my childhood. I was one of her caretakers while growing up and her primary caretaker from the ages of 15 – 18 (until I went off to college). Needless to say, I grew up fast! I was nominated as “Most Dependable” my senior year of high school. While it was an honor to receive that nomination, it was earned in my private home life because I’d learned the ultimate dependability by being my mom’s caretaker.

There are a lot of positives that come from learning responsibility at a young age and it can also be very confusing. Caretaking an adult is hard for an adult let alone a child doing so. At the age of 25, my mom passed away. She was 55. I don’t think anyone is prepared to lose a parent. Losing my mom unearthed some “life stuff” I needed to address. I sought out therapy to talk through my mom’s death. There was a lot of processing I needed to do. Sometimes we are so close to a situation that we can’t see the full picture. A therapist can help with that.

I have learned through therapy that my mother’s sickness shaped me, both good and bad. The good is easier to hold some days than the bad. It’s easy to become fixated on one or the other. The point of therapy is to help you hold all aspects about yourself and if at first you can’t hold it by yourself, your therapist is there to hold it until you are able to do so on your own. This is where advocacy comes into play for me and why diversity and inclusion mean so much at my core. My therapist has been my advocate in so many ways. Giving words to situations when I had none. She gave me a voice when I didn’t have one. And she has been there to hold my hand in all the hard things that I’ve been through. I can honestly say I would not be here right now if it weren’t for the gift of therapy. It has been lifechanging. I have learned lifechanging skills in therapy from navigating difficult family relationships, to work challenges, to having compassion for myself. And having compassion for yourself is key to having compassion for others. Looking in the mirror, in my opinion, can be the biggest adversary you face. I know it has been for me. I can certainly stand in my own way. Therapy can help you get out of your own way!

Therapy is hard, not going to lie. I don’t always like my therapist, lol. But therapy has given me a centeredness, a truth, a groundedness that is priceless. Maybe I would have gotten to this place on my own, but even if I had, it would taken me so much longer. And don’t we deserve to get to a better place as fast as we can?

A wise friend told me once that “our work on ourselves is a lifetime and one day”, meaning we are always inching toward being better versions of ourselves. I also came across another quote that resonated with me greatly, “the more we can understand our own thoughts, feelings and emotions; the more we can understand someone else’s”. This.Is.So.True. The better you can see yourself, the better you can see others. There’s certainly more I could write about, but I will pause here. I hope this helps you seek a therapist if you’ve been thinking about it. And if you’ve never thought about it, I hope this helps you see a different side to therapy. I think we could all use a good therapist in our lives. Life is hard enough and we deserve to be better people, for ourselves and each other.