Tag: Mississippi

The Word I Didn’t Choose

The Word I Didn't Choose

I’m not one to pick “a word for the year”. 

I’m not against, it’s just not something I’ve given much focus to.  

And, being a writer, maybe I don’t want to limit myself to one word! 😉  

But I do pay attention to words that seem to come up over and over again.  

The ones I keep hearing. 

The ones that start carrying more weight and meaning than they used to. 

These are words to pay attention to. 

So far, this year, this word has been community.  

Community in a Big City

Living in such a big city like Houston makes community complicated. 

It’s normal here to live 30+ miles from where you work. That can easily mean an hour commute one way. 

After doing that all week, the idea of driving back into traffic to meet a friend can feel exhausting.  

Unintentionally, you begin calculating: 

  • What time will I get home? 
  • How late will this go? 
  • Is it worth the energy? 

Slowly, isolation becomes practical. 

Comedian Nate Bargatze jokes about this in one of his comedy shows. 

“In your 20’s you’re down for anything, anytime, anywhere doesn’t matter. If a friend calls to ask if you want to do something, you’re in.” 

“In your 30’s, if a friend calls to ask you to meet up, you’re a little hesitant. You ask questions about who is going to be there and when is it over before you commit.” 

“In your 40’s, when a friend calls to ask you to do something, you are offended that they’d even ask.” 

It’s funny because it’s true!

But beneath the humor is something deeper: as we get older, busier, and more established, connection starts feeling optional. 

The Illusion of Independence

Because Houston is so big, it can have a way of toughening you. 

This year marks 20 years of living here. While I pride myself on being independent, independence can have a way of hardening you into isolation. 

Not because you decide you don’t need people, but because life trains you to manage on your own. 

You work. 

You commute. 

You handle things. 

You keep going. And life keeps going at lightening speed. 

And you convince yourself you’re fine. 

We Said Yes

One of the ways to have a community is in church. Many who attend church in Houston attend what is referred to as a mega-church. A mega-church will have 2,000 or more attendees. It’s very hard to create relationships and be known in such a large congregation. 

The church my husband and I attend is called Church Project. It is a church of house churches.  

Yes, we gather on Sunday mornings in a church building and we have 2 services to fit everyone. 

But how we create community within Church Project are House Churches. These are smaller gatherings usually on Sunday evenings or Wednesday nights in homes usually in your neighborhood.  

A group of House Churches connected together as one through Church Project. This is modeled after the New Testament church where people would gather in each other’s homes for Christian fellowship. 

This usually entails gathering: 

  • to share a meal 
  • for prayer time 
  • for Bible study 
  • for Conversation 

 This is a way to know and be known. It creates intimacy and an opportunity to build relationships and do life with others. 

My husband and I didn’t participate in House Church for years. We finally decided a couple years ago to start going and we are so glad we did. 

It has proven to be such a blessed transformational decision for us.  

The Risk of Being Known

For someone who has lived most of her adult life fiercely independent, being known can feel vulnerable, and attending House Church has challenged me in a good way.  

The times we’ve chosen to let our House Church in on areas that we were struggling has proven to be the best risk. 

We’ve received immediate prayer. We’ve received text messages during the week checking in and encouraging us. I’ve received the most delicate and tender prayer messages. 

Most recently, my grandmother passed away and before I left to travel for her funeral, I found a bouquet of flowers and a card on my front door step from our House Church. It was such a thoughtful and sincere gesture.  

When you live far from family, grief can feel isolating in a way that’s hard to describe. Our House Church reminded me I wasn’t alone. 

After all the time I’ve spent being independent, when you begin being cared for by others, it’s a bit shocking and learning to receive becomes another challenge.

Sometimes you don’t know how much you need community until you actually have one. 

It’s not all about receiving. Being cared for and having that modeled for you teaches you how to be a community for others. 

I have room to grow in this regard. When others show up for you and show you the love of Jesus, it fills you up in a way that you want to pour out to others.  

One of my favorite versus is Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, so one person’s character sharpens another.” This is House Church.

A community that sharpens one another. Sharpening in a sweet way and sharpening in a transformational way. Living in community with others will hold up a mirror, at times, showing you where you can do better and be better. 

Small Town vs. Big City

Community came up again while I was home for my grandmother’s funeral. I attended the church I grew up in, where my Dad still attends. So many people came to hug me, share stories, and words of encouragement for me.  

This is also community.  

This is community of a small town. This kind of community feels natural in a small town.  

People come together. People know you, watched as you grew up, has known your family for generations.  

These are people that take care of you. And I’m comforted by this as I travelled back home to Houston knowing so many care and love my Dad.  

I know that community will come around my Dad, check on him, and love on him when I can’t be there in person. 

When you live in a big city, no one accidentally builds deep connection. You have to choose it. 

I’m so thankful we have that opportunity with our House Church with Church Project.  

The Modern Convenience Problem

We live in a modern world that has made community optional. 

Why would you go next door to borrow a cup of sugar when you could have it delivered?  

Why talk to a cashier when you can check yourself out? 

In the name of “progress” we’ve eliminated community. We’ve forgotten what it means to depend upon others, to be vulnerable, to ask for help, to share a meal. 

But we were never designed to live this way. 

A Question Worth Asking

When was the last time you let yourself be known? 

Not admired. 

Not competent. 

Not capable. 

Known. 

Isolation rarely announces itself. 

It quietly settles in and becomes the normal. 

And sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn’t proving you can handle everything alone. 

It’s letting someone show up for you. 

So how do we bring community back in our modern world? 

By choosing inconvenience on purpose. 

By lingering after church instead of slipping out quickly. 
By saying yes to dinner even when the commute feels long. 
By knocking on a neighbor’s door instead of ordering another delivery. 
By letting someone see beyond “I’m fine.” 

Community isn’t gone. 

It’s waiting for intention. 

Progress Doesn’t Always Equal More 

Progress Doesn't Always Equal More

Earlier this week, Jeff and I set out on a road trip to Iuka, Mississippi, to spend Christmas with my family. As we navigated out of Houston, Texas, we took the 99 East toll road to reach I-59—a route we don’t travel often. Along that stretch of toll road, we were struck by how much construction and how many new buildings were going up. 

What once were open fields and trees are now being cleared to make room for “progress.” Seeing this makes both Jeff and me feel sad. We think about the deer and other wildlife that once lived there, now pushed into smaller and smaller spaces. We also find ourselves wondering: does Houston really need more strip malls, more stores, more retail? It feels unnecessary. Like too much. 

You can feel the stress in the constant push for more. More growth. More expansion. More productivity. It never seems to be enough. That steady chaos creates a life with little room for rest, and over time, it becomes exhausting. 

As we get further away from Houston and closer to Iuka in the 12 hour drive, the landscape begins to change. The land opens up. Houses sit farther back from the road. Fences stretch across fields holding horses or cows. And beyond what I can see, something else shifts—my body begins to relax. My breathing slows. Without realizing it, I’ve been holding tension. 

Jason Shepperd, pastor at Church Project often says, “life is the balance of holding the tension between blessings and burdens.” This may sum up what I’ve been tangibly feeling, holding the tension between blessings and burdens and the big city can often feel tipped toward burdensome for me. 

It’s important to acknowledge that living in a small town doesn’t eliminate stress. People in places like Iuka still work hard, carry responsibilities, and worry about the same things we all do. Life in the United States often feels hurried and demanding, regardless of where you live. 

What feels different is the environment. A slower pace doesn’t demand the same urgency. There are fewer reminders to rush, consume, or compete. Even when life feels overwhelming, the surroundings don’t add another layer of noise. 

I’m not saying one place is better than the other. Cities like Houston offer opportunity and energy. Small towns offer quiet and space. But they ask different things of us, and our bodies seem to know the difference. 

As we near Iuka, my shoulders drop and my breath deepens. The noise fades. Maybe progress doesn’t always mean adding more. Maybe sometimes it looks like slowing down—and remembering that enough really is enough. 

As 2025 comes to a close this week, I encourage you to take a few moments and take inventory of your life. Where can you eliminate hurry and stress for the new year? 

Is it clearing out physical stress in your home, like re-organizing a closet or garage? 

Is it eliminating financial stress by choosing to buy less in the new year? 

Is it taking stock of your relationships? Choosing to spend more time with those that bring you energy versus those that may drain your energy? 

Is it creating a new or improved habit of going to the well of your Heavenly Father, John 4:14? Spending quiet time with Him? Praying more? Reading scripture? 

Is it decluttering your electronic life? Deleting apps? Turning off notifications? Cleaning up your inbox and unsubscribing? 

Or is it something else? 

This is an opportunity to say in 2026, “less is more”. 

For more ideas on creating margin in your life, Finding 1 Hour of Silence Each Week. 

8 Ways to Stretch Your Holiday Budget With Heart

8 Ways to Stretch Your Holiday Budget with Heart

Is it just me, or has life become expensive?
On a recent grocery trip, I spent over $15.00 to make a Banana Pudding for a work event. The ingredients which were instant vanilla pudding, heavy whipping cream, bananas, Nilla wafers, and Eagle Brand milk. How is it that 5 ingredients cost $15? What in the world? When prices keep climbing and our paychecks aren’t matching the pace, something eventually has to give. And ready or not, the holidays are now here!

Maybe you don’t have money to spend on presents this year. That’s okay. Let’s explore ways we can keep costs down this holiday season and our budgets tight.

Start with honesty.

If you need to scale back gift-giving, tell your friends and family. Be upfront, be honest. Even if it feels vulnerable, do it anyway. You might be surprised by the sigh of relief on the other end—chances are, they’re feeling the pinch too. Your honesty may actually be the first gift of the season.

Now, let’s focus on what we can do instead of what we cannot do.

1. Try drawing names.

Put everyone’s name in a bowl, and draw the person you’ll buy for. Set clear ground rules, like a maximum dollar amount. Make sure whoever sets the rules understands your budget and can help manage expectations.

2. Host potluck-style gatherings.

If you’re normally the holiday host, ask others to bring drinks, sides, desserts, or appetizers. It may take a bit more coordination upfront, but organizing is FREE—and the payoff is that you’re not covering the full cost of the meal.

3. Write handwritten letters.

When was the last time you received a handwritten letter? Or wrote one? In a world of texts, emails, and social media comments, a handwritten note is rare—and priceless.

Write your child a letter about how you’ve seen them grow this year. Write your mom or dad a note recalling favorite memories. A handwritten letter says, “I took time to think of you,” and time is the most personal gift we have.

4. Create art.

Do you like to doodle? Do you have pencils, markers, or paint lying around? Consider drawing something for a friend or family member. Don’t dismiss the idea—like handwritten letters, art is time made visible.

Growing up in Mississippi there was an elderly woman at the Iuka Church of Christ named Lenile Archer. Every year on my birthday, she sent me a postcard—one side a handwritten message, the other side her own artwork. Even as a child, I knew how special it was to receive one of her creations.

5. Offer gift certificates—for your time.

Not the store-bought kind. These cost nothing.

Is someone on your list a new parent? Offer babysitting so they can run errands or have a date night. Do you have a skill someone might need—car maintenance, simple home repairs, organizing, or washing cars? Create a gift certificate for a block of your time and talent. It’s practical, meaningful, and personal.

6. Give experiences.

Maybe you make a great cup of coffee, a signature dessert, or a favorite meal. Maybe there’s someone you’ve been wanting to reconnect with. Invite them over or bring your treats to them. Share conversation. Share memories. Experiences create connection, and connection is a gift.

7. Print photos.

When was the last time you printed a photo? How many sit on your phone unseen? Someone on your list would likely treasure a captured moment—whether it’s old or recent. And many dollar stores still carry affordable frames.

8. Volunteer together.

When our dollars don’t stretch the way they used to, one of the best ways to shift our mindset is to serve others. Look to local churches for families in need. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Visit a nursing home and sit with someone who may not have loved ones nearby. Serving together multiplies joy.

Money is a resource. Time is a resource. Sometimes we have more of one than the other. But blessings can be found in both.

Less money often requires more creativity—and that’s not a loss. Think outside the gift box. You might discover you don’t miss the pile of presents under the tree at all.

The time and experiences you create will last far longer than the latest gadget or trend. Our time with loved ones is limited, and many of the ideas above are rooted in time, not money.

Time is an investment.
So ask yourself:
Do I want to spend it fighting crowds? Scrolling endlessly online? Or sitting face-to-face with the people I love?

Choose your resources wisely this season. Choose connection. Choose presence. Those are the gifts that last. And, they are budget friendly!

100 Days of Prayer

100 Days of Prayer

Last year, an account I follow on Instagram, @bailshenry, shared the goal of not eating out at restaurants for all of 2024!

Considering how busy our lives are…this was an interesting goal. It would be a challenging goal.

Needless to say, she attracted a lot of followers, including me. We watched what she was making at home and serving her family. We watched as she and her family fulfilled their goal.

Bailey also lives in Mississippi and is a graduate from Mississippi State University, both of which are bonuses in my book! #hailstate

Recently, Bailey shared about the practice of 100 days of prayer.

When she shared about this practice, she didn’t think there would be much response. Instead, she was pleasantly surprised.

Many were curious and wanted to know how she did it.

She has a highlight reel on her account about it and shared how she structures hers.

Since the beginning of October, I’ve been struggling with some challenges. I was already praying about it.

Then, I remembered the 100 days of prayer practice that Bailey shared. I re-watched her highlight reels on how she structures hers and then set out to do my own.

I started by writing down the 2 situations that I wanted to pray about for 100 days.

Nothing too in depth. Bullet points about both situations.

I wrote out above the 2 prayer circumstances what the starting date of my 100 days would be and then end date.

It’s important to note that while you can track the 100 days…God is not impressed with the amount of days you are praying.

What is important is that God wants to hear from His children.

And even though He already knows the needs, the circumstances, and situations, He wants to hear from you about it.

If you are a mom or dad, don’t you want to know what on your children’s hearts and minds?

Especially if they are struggling?

Even if you know they are struggling?

With God, it’s no different. He wants to hear from His children.

I’ve never prayed with the same or similar prayer for 100 days.

As I write this, I’m 38 days into the 100 days.

Here are 5 things that I’ve noticed:

  1. For 38 days, I’ve prayed the same or similar prayer over the 2 situations out loud.
  2. There have been times I’ve gotten on my knees to pray. Not every time.
    • Kneeling isn’t something I’ve done often in my prayer life either, however, I can say that it humbles me.
    • It’s a symbol of reverence. He is God, I am not.
  3. These prayers are not limited to only the 2 circumstances.
    • I use this time to pray for other people and situations too.
  4. I’ve been surprised how I like the repetition of praying the same or similar prayer.
    • It is becoming a rhythm in my day. I don’t have to come up with a prayer. I already know and then can add on as needed.
    • Sometimes praying can feel overwhelming with the uncertainty of what to say. The repetition is helpful.
    • I find that I am praying more confidently.
  5. Jeff and I have prayed together more often.
    • We take turns praying.

I didn’t know what to expect when I began this practice. I’m so glad I started and have been consistently praying.

While I don’t have total clarity over the 2 situations, I have slight clarity on a piece of it.

God is moving. And He will answer.

It may not be the answers that I’m looking for or what I want.

That’s ok, too.

I want His voice to be the loudest in my life.

Less of me and more of Him.

Amen.

A Story About Joe – Family, Values & Principles

A Story About Joe - Family, Values & Principles

My Dad and Uncle’s first cousins grew up in close proximity to one another in Kossuth, MS. Their physical proximity was simply an outward representation of their relational closeness. And still is today.

Even though life has taken them to places like Nashville, TN; Sikeston, MO; Tyler, TX; Corinth, MS; and Kossuth, MS to name several. They all still stay in touch.

They gather together at least once a year. Texting and calling, too, to stay connected. And when they are gathered together under one roof, it’s like they’ve never missed a beat!

I’ve had the privilege to be in the room with them several times as an adult. It’s always a treasure. They are a fun group! They pick on each other, laugh, and share stories about the mischief of growing up. I love the insights I get about my Dad from their stories. I also enjoy hearing about my family, about where I come from, and about my roots.

They have a tradition of going to Canton, TX for the first Monday flea market in the fall. My Uncle has planned the once a year gathering for many years. They rent a big van, meet up in Corinth, all pile in, and make the ~8 hour trip to Canton for a weekend.

Read another story from their 1st Monday flea market trip here!

This flea market is something to experience. It’s acres upon acres of flea market finds. Jeff and I have even joined them a time or two.

Last May, I went home to Iuka, Mississippi for a quick weekend to celebrate my grandmother’s, Grannie King’s, birthday. She was turning 96 and my Dad and Uncle had summoned the family together to celebrate.

Once we were all settled into the living room after birthday food and cake, the story telling began again. One story has stuck with me since then.

Joe Garrett told a story about a time he was going to get a custom suit made. When the quote came back for the suit, it was going to cost him $750. He declined it and went on his way.

He explained to us in the room that is wasn’t because he couldn’t have afforded it. He replied in his easy going way, “I could buy each one of you a suit at that price.”

He went on to connect the principle of not buying the suit to a childhood memory. He had grown up poor. Anything he had was marked by hard labor, such as cutting ditch banks down by hand with a kaiser blade. He earned just twenty-five cents an hour under the hot sun for his work.

“When that’s where you came from, you know how hard and how long you have to work to buy a $750 suit. Then, you decide if its worth it or not.” Joe explained.

Those long days had shaped his view of money, work, and what really mattered. Spending that much on a suit simply didn’t sit right with the boy who once worked for quarters an hour.

This story impacted me. It’s such a stark contrast to today’s world. New gadgets, clothes, and luxuries are purchased almost without a second thought—Joe’s decision felt almost radical.

We live in a culture of consumerism, where society measures success by what we own. Many people have forgotten what a dollar really represents and how hard it was to earn. But Joe hadn’t forgotten. He carried those ditch-bank days with him, and they guided his choices.

Joe’s restraint wasn’t about deprivation. It was about wisdom. Remembering where he came from and those principles guiding him. He didn’t need possessions to prove his success. Joe was always the same person and a steady constant.

And as I remember him, I’m reflecting on my life and the principles that I have learned through hard times. Am I letting the world change me? Do I value what I already have, or am I always reaching for more? Do I pause to consider the story behind each dollar, or do I spend without thought? What I know about Joe’s life reminds me to slow down, to choose gratitude over more stuff, and to remember that true wealth has nothing to do with what we own.

Joe’s story is a reminder that true wealth isn’t about what we can buy, but about living with values that are priceless.

Silent Retreat 2025: Personal Wellbeing

A few months ago, I wrote about my first experience attending Awaken Silent Retreat, posts linked here and here.

And only 5 months later, I attended again. This time on my birthday weekend!

The Silent Retreat was in a different location this time. It was hosted at Shepherd of the Ozarks (SOTO), located in the heart of the Ozark mountains in Harriett, Arkansas.

The total drive for me was around 8 hours from Houston, Texas to Harriett, Arkansas.

I had never been to the Ozark Mountains before. It is beautiful! The last hour of the drive was breathtaking! It reminded me of the Smoky Mountains.

When I arrived, I parked and unloaded my car only to reload my things into a truck. The truck would cross the creek and take me the remaining distance to the cabin.

The creek crossing reminded me of the creek you cross going to J.P. Coleman State Park. My Iuka, Mississippi friends will know what I mean.

But the creek at SOTO was much larger and required a 4-wheel drive vehicle.

The weather forecast was looking like a lot of rain. What we didn’t know is that there would be record breaking rain that weekend.

Silent Retreat 2025: Personal Wellbeing

After unloading our things, we settled into the kitchen where a meal had thoughtfully been prepared for all of us.

As you can see from the photo, there were 19 ladies in attendance.

The cabin was gigantic, about 7,600 square feet. It was 3 levels with numerous bedrooms. Plenty of room to spread out both in the cabin and on the front and back porches.

All during dinner, there was talking and conversation. After dinner, we gathered in the living area. Danielle led us in worship songs and scripture. She guided us in an exercise to use our holy imagination that prepared our minds for the weekend of silence.

Then, with our phones turned into Danielle, we shifted into silence.

When I returned to my room, I was met with interesting visitors in the bathroom. Not 1, not 2, but 3 wasps were in my bathroom! I had to summon help from Danielle to get rid of them.

The wasps would prove to be interesting violators of my silent weekend.

It rained, thundered, and lightened much of the night. As the day broke, so did the weather. Many of the ladies were going outside to explore the outdoors. It was beautiful scenery at SOTO. I had heard some of them talk about a prayer walk the night before. The hike had signs with scripture prompts along the path. This is where I wanted to go.

I packed up my journal and pen in my bag. Grabbed a coffee to go and set out to find this path. I found the prayer walk and started to doubt if I should continue. Since it had been raining the night prior, it was muddy and where the path began, it was steep. I hesitated, but decided to at least go a little ways before giving up.

My next hurdle was wooden planks that served as bridges without hand rails over shallow ravines. When stepping on the wooden planks, they bowed under my weight. I must have stepped forward and stepped backward at least 3 or 4 times.

I was out of my comfort zone. And then I laughed at myself, “says the girl that drove 8 hours alone to be at a silent retreat.”

This gave me gusto to cross the plank quickly only to be met with a second plank to cross. I didn’t hesitate as much with this one.

I came to the first scripture prompt, Psalms 96, a psalm of praise. It seemed so appropriate given the beautiful mountains and the gurgling creek below me. I sat in silence and read the scripture through again and enjoyed the sights of the beautiful landscape.

The next scripture prompt on the path was Psalms 32:1-7, a psalm of confession.

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.”

I was struck with how the verse spoke to me. If I hide and keep sin in my life a secret, I will waste away. Sin is detrimental physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The part about “your hand was heavy upon me” says to me that your conscious is speaking about the sin. Sin preoccupies our lives and takes our strength. The relief from the bind of sin is to confess it to the Lord.

This was an humbling experience on the prayer path…to sit in silence and to sit with truth.

I continued on the path only to come to another crossing. The path continued on the other side of the creek. I was wearing tennis shoes and given the rain the night before, the creek was high.

I decided I would not cross. Instead I found a makeshift perch on a rock and decided to sit and take in God’s beauty He created.

Because I did not have my phone or camera, my journal and pen served to capture the beauty.

It’s easy to forget to use all our senses when we experience something. We carry these mini computers with us all day, i.e. phones. It’s easy to snap a photo, but what else other than the visual did you experience?

Writing down what I was seeing, hearing, and feeling helped me capture the moment and embed it in my mind. Here’s what I wrote:

“Water gurgling and bubbling. Water falling that sounds like water filling up a bathtub. Very vibrant greens from the moss on the sides of the trees and rocks to the grass and buds on awakening trees from their winter’s nap. The simplicity of beauty. The grass, the trees, the moss, and the water doing nothing other than what they were designed to do. No rush, no busy, just being what they are supposed to be. They are all enough, more than enough. Flowing water around the bend and out of sight. Not in a hurry, but a constant flow. Roots that create the perfect natural stair steps to the water. Lavender flowers. Are those weeds? Does it matter? I’ve never seen this place. It feels like a gift from God as I journeyed to spend uninterrupted time with Him. The temperature is perfect. Not hot, not cold. Mossy, velvet carpet. Soft to the touch. And purple flowers popping out here and there among the fresh greenery.”

If you’ve been reading my blog, you may find that I write often about silence and stillness. Silence and stillness are tools. They are spiritual disciplines. They are practices to have greater personal wellbeing.

Our modern world is noisy and busy.

What are you missing by getting swept away in the constant demand on your time and the distractions?

What if you carved out time for silence and stillness? What do you think would happen?

Maybe you’d notice and experience the world around you like I experienced being in the mountains and by the creek.

Maybe you’d experience all of your senses.

Maybe you’d be aware of more.

Many think that silence is taking things away, like your phone and distractions. While that’s true, what’s also true is thinking about what silence could give you/add back instead.

Stay tuned! Next week, I’ll continue writing about my experience with a Silent Retreat weekend.

What is Perspective Confessions?

Perspective Confessions

Hi! I’m Carlynn creator of Perspective Confessions. Welcome! I’m so glad you are here! The idea of Perspective Confessions was born in 2015. Writing has been a practice in my life starting in grade school and it made sense to create Perspective Confessions to be able to share articles, journal entries, musings, etc. about topics such as career, financial health, and overall wellbeing with all of you. When I write, I am able to connect with myself, unearth hidden truths much more easily than when I’m talking to a friend. Did you know that truth telling = confession? To confess is to tell the truth. Most, if not all of us, don’t stay connected to ourselves all the time. Our lives are filled with distractions and it takes work to get connected back up with yourself to understand how you might feel about something, know what decision to make, or to get connected to what’s true. Writing helps me do all those things. At some point, the writings in my journal shifted from writing just for myself to writing so that others could read it too. The truths that I’ve unearthed for myself I want to share it more broadly because my words might be the words that someone else needs, can relate to, and/or help them think about a situation from a different perspective. By the way, the quote below is from an amazing book, Living Fearless by Jamie Winship. Highly recommend!

“Truth always sets you free. Hiding truth always makes you a slave. If you will not tell the truth, you’re in bondage to the lie, the deception, and the rationalization.” – Living Fearless by Jamie Winship

Coach

As my professional life has advanced, I received my Financial Coaching certification and in my full-time Corporate America job, I am a Leadership Coach. You can learn more about financial health here, and you can read more about my experience with coaching in this post. Whether it be with writing or working one on one with others, the commonality is that I enjoy helping and connecting with people.

Career Confessions

Before I was able to climb the corporate ladder, I struggled mightily. A lot with anxiety. In my mid to late twenties, I went through some big life changes that included moving from a small town to a big city, combating severe anxiety, losing my mom, and divorce. I wrote a full series on my Career Confessions that you can read about here. I share tips about how I found new ways of working with anxiety, shifted my mindset, and slowly climbed the career ladder.

Wellbeing

Yes, writing about all those struggles makes me vulnerable. I hold the belief that we can learn from one another. Sharing helps us not feel alone or like we are the “only ones”. I listened to a podcast a long time ago that said we would not need therapists or counselors if we lived in good, healthy community because that good, healthy community would give us supportive and constructive feedback, come alongside the hard parts of life, share tools to help with life, etc. I believe that is true. The vast majority of us, though, live in isolation especially with today’s technology. And because of that, the need to be mindful and intentional with our wellbeing is paramount.

I’d love it if you’d join me as we learn about career, financial health, and overall wellbeing. Curiosity is key  in exploring differing perspectives…zooming out to see the big picture and zooming in to look at things more closely. It’s the push and pull of these vantage points that we can learn the most. Perspective Confessions is the source for inspiration for those who want to learn and grow. I am continually growing and learning; unearthing discoveries, and sharing truth or confessions I’ve learned along with the way from varying perspectives.. Perspective Confessions is about getting to the root of challenges as it relates to career, financial, and overall wellbeing and creating a toolbox of resources from what’s learned to equip you for the next step. If you want tools to manage your career and finances, value slowing down for a better quality of life, and aren’t afraid of being challenged; then you are in the right place.

If you know of someone that:

  • is struggling with their career,
  • struggles with anxiety or with big life changes,
  • wants to get their finances back on track,
  • wants to find a better balance in their life from the fast track, fast paced life they’re living, please share perspectiveconfessions.com with them!

And by all means, don’t miss any Perspective Confessions posts. Make sure you subscribe!

Financial Health, Career, and Wellbeing

Part 7: Career Confessions From a Small Town Girl in the Big City

Part 7: Career Confessions

If you are just joining this series, catch up here: Career Confessions parts 1-6.

Career Confessions Bonus

Surprise, there’s a bonus! The Career Confessions series isn’t done yet! The story is still unfolding. As I was originally writing the Career Confession series back in 2023, I received an offer for a new job within Chevron. This time the position of Leadership Coach. In this role, I would coach leaders. Brand new leaders, influential leaders, seasoned leaders leading new teams, and any individual contributor that would like to take part in coaching. Each one of us has a leader within capable of learning leadership behaviors, and exercising them for lasting, sustainable results at work.  

Imposter Syndrome

With any new job, feelings and thoughts can surface that say “I’m not qualified”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t know what I’m doing”, “why did they pick me?!”, “what if they find out I can’t do this?!”, “what if they find out I don’t have the skills?!”, and on and on the fearful thoughts spiral. I am not and was not immune. I had many of these exact thoughts when I was selected for this opportunity. This experience has a name, it’s called Imposter Syndrome. It’s not only limited to work…you might experience it if you are a new parent or in a new season of parenting. You might experience it when caring for an aging parent, or a new volunteer opportunity. Anything that gets you out of your comfort zone could have you experiencing imposter syndrome.  

My new job as a Leadership Coach had me all in imposter syndrome. Anxiety had taken center stage a few times and I was battling through it. Remember the anxiety I wrote about experiencing in Part 1 and Part 2 of this series. Well, I was experiencing it again, but in a different way. I have tools to combat anxiety, and it was time to use them. I began thinking about Moses. Yes, Moses, the guy that God chose to be the spokesperson and leader of the Israelites. I felt that God had called me to this Leadership Coaching job and had created a way for me to do this job even if I felt over my head at times. I looked up the passages in Exodus and prayed through it. This is one way I battled with anxiety and imposter syndrome. I knew that if God had appeared to Moses in a burning bush and Moses said, “no, not me” to God, he must have had some serious imposter syndrome. I found comfort in knowing Moses felt less than, felt he wasn’t worthy, felt he didn’t speak well, felt he wasn’t up to the challenge. God doesn’t make mistakes and Moses had been chosen. This is how I prayed through scripture. 

Praying Through Scripture

Scripture: Exodus 3:10-11 – So now, go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt. But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” 

Prayer: Lord, how many times have you called me to action? How many times have I not heard or chose not to hear? Fear standing between you and me and what you are calling me to do. I am thankful for your word and for Moses. He doubted his worth. He doubted you, Lord. He doubted his capabilities. 

Scripture: Exodus 3:12 – And God said, “I will be with you…” 

Prayer: And yet you were patient and reassured Moses. 

Scripture: Exodus 4:1 – Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me.” 

Scripture: Exodus 4:10-15 – Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” 

Prayer: Even with your reassurance, Lord, Moses still doubts. 

Scripture: Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite?” I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you and will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.” 

Prayer: Lord, you were resolute in your choosing of Moses for the Israelites’ spokesperson. You pursued him. You were steadfast. May I remember this when I feel your calling of me. Thank you for your word that shows the imperfection of people. There is comfort in the human disbelief…that it’s not just me. Your calling is intentional. You teach, walk beside, and equip those you call. You never forsake. Thank you, Father, for showing me in your word that imposter syndrome is not new; that doubt is common in human flesh. May I apply this wisdom to my life. Hide this teaching in my heart. Grant me courage to overcome the doubt and fear to step out in faith. Help me, Father, to humbly obey and follow you. Thank you for your grace and your patience with me as I continually work to train my ears to hear your callings amongst all the worldly noise. Give me sensitivity to your whispers and nudges. Amen 

Tools to Battle Through Imposter Syndrome

Sometimes falling on our knees in prayer is the exact right way to battle. Did this prayer make the imposter syndrome go away? No, it didn’t. However, it kept me showing up to each meeting with each leader. It led me to pray before each coaching session and invite God into that conversation. These scriptures were a reminder that God equips who He has called. He doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I knew by showing up even with the discomfort of imposter syndrome, I was going to gain more and more confidence. I was going to make mistakes. I was going to learn from them. I was going to be better because I was scared and sometimes being scared is a great motivator. It’s motivation to learn quickly so you don’t feel that way anymore. God was equipping me through the fear and through the imposter syndrome.  

Scripture: James 1:2-4 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

I was only going to get through it by walking through it one step at a time. He used this opportunity to hold up a mirror to show me all the things I had the capabilities to do and had not recognized in myself yet. He was showing me that I was equipped all along, but I needed a nudge (or push) out in the middle of the ring…to feel exposed to grow into who He made me to be. I can’t tell you how many of the leaders I have coached that have told me about their imposter syndrome too. No one is immune. We are all fallible human beings. We are all capable of learning. We are all capable of growing. We are better by showing up and doing it scared. Don’t let the anxiety or fear prove you right. You prove the anxiety and fear wrong. Prove the imposter syndrome wrong.  

If you know someone that has recently changed jobs and is experiencing anxiety or imposter syndrome, please share this blog post and this series with them.

Part 6: Career Confessions of a Small Town Girl in the Big City

You can read the original publication of Part 6 of the Career Confessions series in the Tishomingo County News linked here.

Part 6 of Career Confessions

If you have read parts 1 – 5 yet, make sure to catch up. Find them linked here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5.

Back in 2006 I had no idea of what life had in store for me. To be honest, I’m glad I didn’t have a crystal ball to predict what would happen. It would have scared the heck out of me and I’m sure I would have run away to hide, at least for a while. The older we become, the more perspective we have, but we still don’t know what the future holds. Only God holds the whole picture. If He revealed the whole picture of our lives all at once, I’m pretty sure we would all run and hide. In His wisdom, He gives us one day and one moment at a time. My career has had many challenges AND there have been many successes. It’s easy to focus on the negative unless you remember there are peaks AND valleys along the way. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come unless you look back to where you started. Hence a theme throughout this series has been context is everything and hindsight too. 

One could assume that I moved away to the big city and I’m living the high life. It’s easy to make assumptions about what someone’s life might be like. We live in a world where we have filters for the pictures we take and we post about the best parts of our lives. What if we pulled back the curtain to look at the parts that aren’t quite so polished? What about the not so neat and tidy parts? Life is rarely wrapped up in a neat little bow. To be honest, I am a little freaked that I’ve pulled back the curtain to write about the not so polished, neat and tidy parts of my life. Regardless, I think it’s more important to share so others might not feel alone or feel as though they have fallen short. Don’t be ashamed of the struggles because they lend themselves to building character. And my oh my what character I have built! 

The last question I asked the students at TCHS is, “how do you define success?” What does success mean to you? The shortest path between two points is a straight line. Start and finish. Success is rarely completed with a straight line. It’s much like a map with construction, detours, and can take much longer than anticipated. All those twists and turns and sometimes falling off the path completely means learning and gaining wisdom (aka context and hindsight). Don’t let the world tell you what success should be. You decide and pursue it. Success doesn’t have to mean lots money or fame. It could be getting married and having a family or paying off debt or buying a house or spending more time with friends and family. Success is measured by how you are fulfilled and progress, not perfection. My definition of success is to keep going, to learn from my mistakes and do better once I know better. I want to continuously be a better daughter, wife, sister, friend, Christian, stepmom and employee.

Every one of the “if I could go back and tell my younger self” advice included in this series…well those aren’t just for my younger self, it’s for me right now today too. Writing this series has been humbling. A few tears shed too. Sometimes writing it down causes you to think about it more thoroughly and thoughtfully. I didn’t get this far by myself. There have been people woven into this journey that have encouraged, reflected, come alongside me, cared and loved me through it. I would be completely remiss if I didn’t recognize God’s hand in all of it too. He has walked with me and guided me. Knowing that I am a shy, introverted girl, and yet I have a spirit of boldness that could only be explained as a gift from God. So I am going to keep going and I’m taking all the context, hindsight and life tidbits with me that I’ve learned along the way. My prayer is that you keep going too otherwise we may never get to our destination called success.

Part 5: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

This article was originally published in Tishomingo County News, linked here.

If you missed the previous 4 parts of this series, find them here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

At the beginning of this Career Confessions series, I wrote about visiting the Career and College Readiness classes and the football team at Tishomingo County High School (TCHS). That visit has been the inspiration for these articles. Growing up, I never thought about working for a company like Chevron. Honestly, I’m not sure I knew what Chevron was when I was in high school other than as a gas station. There isn’t much oil and gas activity in Iuka, Mississippi. Because of that, I wanted to share this wonderful company that I have worked with for 14 years. I wanted the students to know that if I could find my way to Chevron, it wasn’t out of their reach either. 

My sister and I at Tishomingo County High School

The students and I discussed economics at a high level. Oil and gas are commodities and are publicly traded on the open market. The market sets the price along with other global economies. Since many of these students drive, they understood the price of gas when filling up their cars. We talked through a recent big change in prices at the pump and how the pandemic impacted supply and demand. Demand dropped dramatically when the world shut down. Supply was in excess for the demand which drove down the price of gas. As the world opened again, demand increases but supply lags since it had been reduced to meet low demand during the pandemic. This caused prices to increase. This happened in many industries and many products because of the pandemic. 

Because Chevron is an Energy Company, I shared with the students about Chevron’s mission to provide affordable, reliable and ever-cleaner energy to the world. Chevron recently created Chevron New Energies, a section of the company that is investing in products to advance a lower carbon future, such as carbon capture and hydrogen. This part of the company is where an entrepreneurial spirit is encouraged because these projects are forging pathways in the energy transition. What a great place for outside the box thinkers and problem solvers. It was important to share with TCHS students the many opportunities within Chevron they may want to consider as they graduate, pursue higher education and/or careers. 

As described in previous articles, my career journey has been multifaceted, and I think that’s an accurate description of my career within Chevron too. I began working at Chevron in late 2011 after obtaining a job with a staffing agency. This job was a Technical Assistant with major capital projects. I became a Chevron employee in 2013, this time as a Senior Administrator to a General Manager named Dave. Dave was and still is my favorite manager. Dave had high expectations for his department including myself. It felt, at times, higher than what I was capable. He challenged and mentored me to being a better employee. But most importantly, Dave cared about his employees. Dave gave me a great start to my career at Chevron. Chevron’s tagline is Human Energy meaning Chevron is successful because of its people. Dave is one example of working alongside some of the best and brightest.  

For the first 7 years at Chevron, I was a trusted advisor and support to several General Managers. None of those jobs required me to have a college education. Not to say it didn’t help me, but it wasn’t mandatory. That’s another relevant point I wanted to make to the students at TCHS. Don’t let perceptions hold you back. Make the most of every job, even if you are only in supportive roles. I’ve had some of the most incredible experiences. For example, I’ve attended weekly meetings with executives and their leadership teams (this is the epitome of learning from the best and brightest); I’ve flown on Chevron’s corporate jet several times to Midland, TX; and I’ve also travelled on Chevron business to Calgary, Alberta Canada; Covington, Louisiana; and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I’ve had a bird’s eye view of business strategy, worked on diverse teams, problem solved and executed projects. It has been exciting, challenging, competitive, exhilarating, and has grown me to new levels. My experience at Chevron has been incredible! I am so thankful for all the opportunities and excited for the future.  

Because the Energy industry is driven by market prices and global economies, that means I have also faced market downturns in my career. At the publication of this post on my blog, I’m currently facing a restructuring of the company. This could be viewed as a negative, but I view it as an opportunity. These downturns have created movement in my career to gain exposure and experience in other parts of Chevron’s business and I wouldn’t trade any of it. Context is everything and hindsight too. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything and emphasize to the students at TCHS, it would be, “What appears to be a challenge very well could be an opportunity. Don’t discount your job title. You can make it what you want. Don’t be afraid to ask for and explore new opportunities. Own your career.” 

So, what happens next? Only 1 article left! Next week I’ll wrap up this series. Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the last story of this Career Confessions series from a small-town girl in the big city.