This article was originally published in Tish Co News.
What is a Silent Retreat?
In November 2024, I drove all the way to Higden, Arkansas for a silent retreat hosted by Awaken Silent Retreat. Silent retreat = no talking and silent rest. Practicing silence means turning off and putting away all distractions. This helps us to better hear from God and the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It’s a spiritual discipline. It’s also a practice of being with yourself and hearing your own thoughts and voice. It’s a practice of resting. I’ve been practicing silence and stillness for a few years, read about it here.
How to Know if You Are a Good Candidate for a Silent Retreat?
How often are you quiet during the day? How often do you truly rest? When you lay down at night, is this the first time that you are quiet with no distractions? Does your mind spring to life with thoughts and worries? Yep, mine too. This means I’m not allowing time in the day, to think, to pray, or to process. In fact, I often work hard to keep from having to think, process, or feel because it seems overwhelming. It takes a lot of energy to keep pushing things down or away. This might be why feeling tired and overwhelmed are commonplace these days. We aren’t allowing space to just be; to be a human being instead of a human doing. When I first heard about this silent retreat, it was on a podcast, Prosperity with Purpose. The podcaster, Jessica Hefley, had recently attended. They had many wonderful things to say about it, and I immediately wanted to experience it too. She described it as a way to eliminate distraction, crowds, and hurry which stands between us and peace. These are tools the enemy uses to keep us separated from God.
Jesus spoke to his disciples in Mark 6:31a. He said, “Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
I didn’t know much about this retreat. However, I trusted Jessica Hefley’s review on her podcast, Silent Retreat to 10x Your Life. So, I sought it out, signed up, and prepared myself to drive 7 hours to attend. That’s a key indicator that I was craving peace and rest. The drive wasn’t difficult at all. Much of the travel was familiar to me. This is because we usually travel through Arkansas on our way home to Iuka, MS.
Silent Retreat Experience
Once I arrived, I was greeted by Danielle, who was leading us that weekend. It was going to be a small group, only 5 of us. After introductions, we ate dinner all while still talking and getting to know one another. Then, we gathered in the living room. Danielle led us in a few songs of worship. She prepared our minds with scripture and then we closed with prayer. We turned off our phones and turned them in for the weekend, and we shifted into silence. Each of us had our own bedrooms and I quickly retired to mine. I was tired from the day’s drive. My usual routine for bed is watching TV and being on my phone. I had neither and I slept 8 hours that night! When I awoke and emerged from my room, breakfast had already been made. I took my coffee outside on the deck and then proceeded down to the lake shore to explore. I noticed deer and dog prints in the mud and the small, smooth rocks along the shore. I sat on top of a big rock overlooking the lake. Fishermen in boats would wave as they passed by. There was an island directly across from shore and kayaks could be used to get there. One of the ladies from the retreat had struck out on an island adventure. She was braver than I. I wandered back up to the cabin. I really didn’t want to read a book while I was at the retreat. I wanted to be silent and hear from God. My mind was not cooperating. I remembered Danielle’s prompting that sometimes it’s better to focus your mind on a book. I pulled from the library the one she recommended, “Living Fearlessly” by Jamie Winship. The book was incredibly helpful with prayer prompts and encouragement for listening for God’s voice. The book recommended to pray and write down what you hear or sense from God. Looking up from the book, I found myself noticing the leaves drop from the trees. This is what I wrote in my journal:
“Methodical drops. Not one leaf in a hurry, making its decent gracefully with swoops and spins. Not to be rushed. The leaves fall joyfully. The season changing and the leaves don’t try to stay. When it’s their time to go, they let go and fall freely. Not a worry or bother. They are doing what they are supposed to do. No argument, only a delightful freefall to make a crunchy carpet on the ground.”
Later, my attention was brought to the squirrels. I wrote about them, too:
“Scampering squirrels. Jumping from one branch to another. They must weigh a few ounces because the branches barely move under their weight. Back and forth they scale at least 15 trees. Never a misstep. They are skilled tree climbers and jumpers. Never needing the ground to get to where they are going, instead they navigate tree city. Scampering to gather food for the day. Methodically searching for the day’s allotment. They don’t spin or toll. They know they will be provided for; their creator provides for them.”
That evening, I found another big rock to perch upon with a blanket and watched over the lake. I loved seeing all nature’s details. The vibrant green weeds against the stark contrast of the rust brown rocks, the dormant gray trees and grass. The white and yellow flowers on the weeds. I was still and silent with no distractions. Because of this, I noticed all the landscape colors. I slept for 9 hours that night. We remained silent until 10:00 am on Sunday for a total of 40 hours of silence. After we broke our silence, Danielle led us with worship songs and scripture. We each shared what our experience had been. God met each of us right where we needed Him…all in unique and different ways. For me, it was God bringing me into the present to notice the leaves, the squirrels, and the color palette along the shoreline. My mind is usually so distracted with worries that it’s hard to be present. All in all, it was an absolute wonderful experience and I already went back for another one this April! (I’ll write about that experience soon too!)
Silence is an Neglected Gift
Our world is filled with distractions. Unless we are intentional with who and what is gaining our attention, the distractions will win every time. The silent retreat was a way to encourage me to find pockets of time to be silent. To put away the phone, take a walk in nature, and be silent and still. Silence is rare and an often-neglected gift.
If you are just joining this series, catch up here: Career Confessions parts 1-6.
Career Confessions Bonus
Surprise, there’s a bonus! The Career Confessions series isn’t done yet! The story is still unfolding. As I was originally writing the Career Confession series back in 2023, I received an offer for a new job within Chevron. This time the position of Leadership Coach. In this role, I would coach leaders. Brand new leaders, influential leaders, seasoned leaders leading new teams, and any individual contributor that would like to take part in coaching. Each one of us has a leader within capable of learning leadership behaviors, and exercising them for lasting, sustainable results at work.
Imposter Syndrome
With any new job, feelings and thoughts can surface that say “I’m not qualified”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t know what I’m doing”, “why did they pick me?!”, “what if they find out I can’t do this?!”, “what if they find out I don’t have the skills?!”, and on and on the fearful thoughts spiral. I am not and was not immune. I had many of these exact thoughts when I was selected for this opportunity. This experience has a name, it’s called Imposter Syndrome. It’s not only limited to work…you might experience it if you are a new parent or in a new season of parenting. You might experience it when caring for an aging parent, or a new volunteer opportunity. Anything that gets you out of your comfort zone could have you experiencing imposter syndrome.
My new job as a Leadership Coach had me all in imposter syndrome. Anxiety had taken center stage a few times and I was battling through it. Remember the anxiety I wrote about experiencing in Part 1 and Part 2 of this series. Well, I was experiencing it again, but in a different way. I have tools to combat anxiety, and it was time to use them. I began thinking about Moses. Yes, Moses, the guy that God chose to be the spokesperson and leader of the Israelites. I felt that God had called me to this Leadership Coaching job and had created a way for me to do this job even if I felt over my head at times. I looked up the passages in Exodus and prayed through it. This is one way I battled with anxiety and imposter syndrome. I knew that if God had appeared to Moses in a burning bush and Moses said, “no, not me” to God, he must have had some serious imposter syndrome. I found comfort in knowing Moses felt less than, felt he wasn’t worthy, felt he didn’t speak well, felt he wasn’t up to the challenge. God doesn’t make mistakes and Moses had been chosen. This is how I prayed through scripture.
Praying Through Scripture
Scripture: Exodus 3:10-11 – So now, go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt. But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”
Prayer: Lord, how many times have you called me to action? How many times have I not heard or chose not to hear? Fear standing between you and me and what you are calling me to do. I am thankful for your word and for Moses. He doubted his worth. He doubted you, Lord. He doubted his capabilities.
Scripture: Exodus 3:12 – And God said, “I will be with you…”
Prayer: And yet you were patient and reassured Moses.
Scripture: Exodus 4:1 – Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me.”
Scripture: Exodus 4:10-15 – Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
Prayer: Even with your reassurance, Lord, Moses still doubts.
Scripture: Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite?” I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you and will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.”
Prayer: Lord, you were resolute in your choosing of Moses for the Israelites’ spokesperson. You pursued him. You were steadfast. May I remember this when I feel your calling of me. Thank you for your word that shows the imperfection of people. There is comfort in the human disbelief…that it’s not just me. Your calling is intentional. You teach, walk beside, and equip those you call. You never forsake. Thank you, Father, for showing me in your word that imposter syndrome is not new; that doubt is common in human flesh. May I apply this wisdom to my life. Hide this teaching in my heart. Grant me courage to overcome the doubt and fear to step out in faith. Help me, Father, to humbly obey and follow you. Thank you for your grace and your patience with me as I continually work to train my ears to hear your callings amongst all the worldly noise. Give me sensitivity to your whispers and nudges. Amen
Tools to Battle Through Imposter Syndrome
Sometimes falling on our knees in prayer is the exact right way to battle. Did this prayer make the imposter syndrome go away? No, it didn’t. However, it kept me showing up to each meeting with each leader. It led me to pray before each coaching session and invite God into that conversation. These scriptures were a reminder that God equips who He has called. He doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I knew by showing up even with the discomfort of imposter syndrome, I was going to gain more and more confidence. I was going to make mistakes. I was going to learn from them. I was going to be better because I was scared and sometimes being scared is a great motivator. It’s motivation to learn quickly so you don’t feel that way anymore. God was equipping me through the fear and through the imposter syndrome.
Scripture: James 1:2-4 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I was only going to get through it by walking through it one step at a time. He used this opportunity to hold up a mirror to show me all the things I had the capabilities to do and had not recognized in myself yet. He was showing me that I was equipped all along, but I needed a nudge (or push) out in the middle of the ring…to feel exposed to grow into who He made me to be. I can’t tell you how many of the leaders I have coached that have told me about their imposter syndrome too. No one is immune. We are all fallible human beings. We are all capable of learning. We are all capable of growing. We are better by showing up and doing it scared. Don’t let the anxiety or fear prove you right. You prove the anxiety and fear wrong. Prove the imposter syndrome wrong.
If you know someone that has recently changed jobs and is experiencing anxiety or imposter syndrome, please share this blog post and this series with them.
There have been quite a few times that I’ve retreated to my bedroom for quiet time with God and this furbaby comes to find me. It’s a very cute and cuddly interruption. 😆 Purrcy is my sweet boy.
I recently completed a weekend retreat. During this weekend, I learned how to make space for God. I learned that it’s not nearly as important as what I say in prayer as it is being with God…thus silence and stillness. In this way, it’s much easier to hear God when He speaks. And He does speak to us, we just have to make space and learn to discern His voice. Don’t we need to hear from Him now more than ever?!
A while before this weekend retreat, I had started trying to ask God questions and listening. One Saturday morning before I got out of bed, I asked God, “how do you delight in me?” The first thing that popped into my mind was a picture of Purrcy and my eyes welled up with tears. If God delights in me like I delight in Purrcy, that says a lot to me. I’ve always been able to love more freely with my pets than I have people. I’m guarded with people, but animals are much easier…less risk of being hurt. God knew just how to answer my question that morning. It was an impactful answer…that He delights in me, He loves me freely with no holds barred. He loves me easily and He can use even a special furry friend to show me.
I hope you are seeing and hearing God in all the places, because He is whispering. He is in all the places around us. As your week or day wraps up, I hope you find space for silence and stillness, even just 2 minutes. For me, this practice helps me combat anxiety and the stress from my crazy, busy life.
After the year we’ve collectively experienced, I found that the solitude and the quiet of being away from others made me very thankful at times because it allowed me to think and re-order my life and then at other times had me in crippling fear and anxiety. The funny thing is I don’t remember writing this prayer as a whole, bits and pieces, yes. When I was reviewing my prayer journal a couple months ago, I came across this prayer I wrote. I’ve re-worded it to hopefully be applicable to anyone, however, I wrote it when my job was in jeopardy. My company went through a massive re-organization last year and I was so scared of losing my job. I asked the Holy Spirit to come and He truly did because I know the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf when we pray and He certainly interceded on my behalf here. Otherwise this prayer wouldn’t be so powerful. I hope that you can save this prayer and pray it when you are crippled in fear and the anxiety won’t go away. I know sometimes when you are crippled in fear it’s hard to find the words to pray. I hope this gives you words to use. He is always with us.
Heavenly Father,
How easy it is to be thrown off track, to become uncentered. The world feels unstable and instead of clinging to you, I run away and hide or busy myself in busyness to ignore it all. I know you are the King of Kings, the creator of all. You are more powerful and mighty than any trouble, any stress, any worry. The devil loves to play his games with my emotions, my doubts, my fears, my vulnerabilities. Holy Spirit I pray you come. Fill me with your peace and joy. Ground me in your truth. Quiet my mind. Make still my nerves. Help me remember whose I am. Help me remember that you and you alone have control no matter the level of chaos. Lord Jesus, in your name, I cast away the worry and fear. In your name, Father, I cast aside the anxiety. Fear does not come from you! Love comes from you. I need this always in my life. I am open to your love, your peace, your spirit. Lord Jesus, in your name this day will not be overwhelming, it will be successful, it will be okay. This day cannot overtake me, it cannot overwhelm me. This day does not have that power and control over me. This day does not have permission to be these things because, Father, you are with me and you created this day and I will rejoice in it. I am grounded in you. I am grounded in your truth. Regardless of the Goliath in this day or in this season of my life and even if I only have a slingshot and a rock, ALL things are possible with you. Truth always stands. Hope is not silent. I am the daughter/son of a King. My worth and value is found in you. You hold my worth and value. Help me to stand grounded in that. Help me to stand firm and not waver. You created me and blessed me with talents and gifts that have a purpose. You have a larger plan, a greater picture than this small piece that I can see in front of me. Help me to rest in you, in your love. Lift my eyes to see you in the midst of the storm. Quiet my mind and fill me with your peace and joy. Holy Spirit come.
