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Tag: reflection

7 Ways That Aging Has Surprised Me

Aging Well

This article originally published in Tish Co News.

1. Aging Skin

April is my birth month, and another year has come and gone. As I’ve advanced to my early 40’s, I’m reflecting on the ways that aging has surprised me such as how quickly my skin has changed. Even the skin on my hands. It is thinner, dryer with more wrinkles. I remember as a little girl one of my favorite things to do was to play with the skin on the back of my grandmother’s (Grannie Bea) hand. I was fascinated that if I pinched and pulled it up that it would stay there even after I let go. I would repeat that same pinch, pull, release over and over. I didn’t know or think about why that happened. I didn’t understand that as we age skin loses its elasticity and is the cause for the thing that fascinated me in my childhood. When I perform the pinch, pull, release test on my hand, it moves back into place quickly. For now, my skin’s elasticity is still in check. 

Tip: I recently started using this body lotion on my hands and arms and wow! The skin on the back of my hands looks and feels amazing! It really tones and has hydration that lasts.

2. Wrinkles and Gravity

Looking in the mirror, my face looks different, too. I admit that I’m guilty of pulling up the skin at my hairline to better understand the subtle work of gravity and time. In my mind’s eye I’m still 20-something years old and that’s the expectation when I see a photo or myself in the mirror. On the flip side, crow’s feet around my eyes means a life filled with laughter and smiles. The “11” lines between my eyes and forehead lines might mean stress and tension, but it also means the blessing of a job that challenges and grows me; it means friends and family that I love yet worry about too, it means life’s hardships that have shaped me, humbled me, and increased my character. Wrinkles are little marks of history our skin. 

Tip: A few products I use to help with the aging process:

Lash Boost: A true eye opener with long lashes.

Multi-Function Eye Cream: To improve the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles, sagging, and crow’s feet around the eyes.

Active Hydration Bright Eye Complex: For brightening, hydration around the eyes, and targets the signs of stress and fatigue.

3. Health

Gone are the days that I worry about numbers on a scale or the size of the jeans I fit into. Instead, the numbers I’m concerned about are my cholesterol, blood pressure, A1C, glucose numbers, and hormone levels. Health doesn’t equate into a certain look anymore (although that’s a nice byproduct). Health these days is about quality of life. Exercising to sustain muscle mass, which is so important as we age, being able to move around and be as active as I want to be chasing and picking up grandchildren. Being healthy from the inside out. Keeping my weight in check is an uphill battle; gaining weight in places I’d never gained before even though this is the healthiest I’ve eaten in my life! Little did I know how much hormones play into weight gain! If you haven’t had them checked, I’d highly recommend it. That’s for guys and girls! 

4. Career

A couple of years ago, I joined a Peer Mentoring Circle at work. I joined thinking I’d like help growing my career. I wanted to be mentored. Once I got to my first meeting, I realized I was one of 2 employees in my circle with the most years with Chevron. This year marks 14 years with my company. It was a shocking turn of the tables to be one of the older and more experienced in the room. I’ve taken that perspective forward now knowing I have a lot I’ve learned along the way and can share with others to help them navigate their career. I didn’t realize I’d entered mid-career because I still feel like I’m in my early career (I’m 20-something in my mind 😉 ). Aging means experience and that’s invaluable. 

5. Grief

I’ve now lived 18 years without my mom. I look back to 2007 and reflect on how young I was when she passed, 25 years old. My stepson is 25. To look at him as a reference point of the age I was when I lost my mom is surreal. At 25, you don’t have much life experience or life context in which to measure or compare big life events. I don’t know that I could have known or understood the loss in its entirety. Grief is funny that way. It doesn’t end, although it changes over time. I’m surprised at the ways it’s different now that I’m older; the years having created distance. I know that I’ve missed having a mother’s support in my life. I don’t know what that would have been like to have it, but I know it’s something that’s missing all the same.  You can read more about my mom in this post, Remembering Beyond Loss.

6. Confidence

As I reflect on my younger years, I’m thinking about how I wish I’d enjoyed life more, but I was too caught up with anxiety and worry. Fast forward a couple of decades later, I know myself better, I know my beliefs, I’m much more comfortable in my own skin and I wouldn’t trade it to be younger again. I understand more and more the adage, “youth is wasted on the young” because my oh my what I would do with youth now with the knowledge I have gained with aging.  

7. Wisdom

Each year grants the opportunity to be wiser and gain more perspective on this short life. I can appreciate having more experiences to draw from and I am thankful for getting older. I’m grateful for the maturity and wisdom that aging brings. The wisdom and blessings that are received can be given away to others. I’ve been blessed with time to make mistakes and learn from them. The years we’ve lived is an investment. We often think about investments in the form of financial. Time is a priceless investment. What reflections do you have as your birthday draws near? What have you learned and what will you do differently? How will you make the most of another birthday? What does aging well mean to you? 

Part 6: Career Confessions of a Small Town Girl in the Big City

You can read the original publication of Part 6 of the Career Confessions series in the Tishomingo County News linked here.

Part 6 of Career Confessions

If you have read parts 1 – 5 yet, make sure to catch up. Find them linked here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5.

Back in 2006 I had no idea of what life had in store for me. To be honest, I’m glad I didn’t have a crystal ball to predict what would happen. It would have scared the heck out of me and I’m sure I would have run away to hide, at least for a while. The older we become, the more perspective we have, but we still don’t know what the future holds. Only God holds the whole picture. If He revealed the whole picture of our lives all at once, I’m pretty sure we would all run and hide. In His wisdom, He gives us one day and one moment at a time. My career has had many challenges AND there have been many successes. It’s easy to focus on the negative unless you remember there are peaks AND valleys along the way. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come unless you look back to where you started. Hence a theme throughout this series has been context is everything and hindsight too. 

One could assume that I moved away to the big city and I’m living the high life. It’s easy to make assumptions about what someone’s life might be like. We live in a world where we have filters for the pictures we take and we post about the best parts of our lives. What if we pulled back the curtain to look at the parts that aren’t quite so polished? What about the not so neat and tidy parts? Life is rarely wrapped up in a neat little bow. To be honest, I am a little freaked that I’ve pulled back the curtain to write about the not so polished, neat and tidy parts of my life. Regardless, I think it’s more important to share so others might not feel alone or feel as though they have fallen short. Don’t be ashamed of the struggles because they lend themselves to building character. And my oh my what character I have built! 

The last question I asked the students at TCHS is, “how do you define success?” What does success mean to you? The shortest path between two points is a straight line. Start and finish. Success is rarely completed with a straight line. It’s much like a map with construction, detours, and can take much longer than anticipated. All those twists and turns and sometimes falling off the path completely means learning and gaining wisdom (aka context and hindsight). Don’t let the world tell you what success should be. You decide and pursue it. Success doesn’t have to mean lots money or fame. It could be getting married and having a family or paying off debt or buying a house or spending more time with friends and family. Success is measured by how you are fulfilled and progress, not perfection. My definition of success is to keep going, to learn from my mistakes and do better once I know better. I want to continuously be a better daughter, wife, sister, friend, Christian, stepmom and employee.

Every one of the “if I could go back and tell my younger self” advice included in this series…well those aren’t just for my younger self, it’s for me right now today too. Writing this series has been humbling. A few tears shed too. Sometimes writing it down causes you to think about it more thoroughly and thoughtfully. I didn’t get this far by myself. There have been people woven into this journey that have encouraged, reflected, come alongside me, cared and loved me through it. I would be completely remiss if I didn’t recognize God’s hand in all of it too. He has walked with me and guided me. Knowing that I am a shy, introverted girl, and yet I have a spirit of boldness that could only be explained as a gift from God. So I am going to keep going and I’m taking all the context, hindsight and life tidbits with me that I’ve learned along the way. My prayer is that you keep going too otherwise we may never get to our destination called success.