How We Are Shaped Along the Way 

How We Are Shaped Along The Way

The turn of a new year invites reflection. 

Before we rush into goals, plans, and resolutions, let’s pause…look back with gratitude and look ahead with humility. For me, this past year has been full of learning, both personally and professionally. It’s been a gift to walk alongside friends, family, co-workers, and even acquaintances who are willing to show up honestly through challenges, in celebrating growth, and staying curious about who they’re becoming. 

There’s a Bible verse written that’s been a constant on my whiteboard for the past couple of years: 

“Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” 

Proverbs 27:17

I love this image, and I also think it’s easy to romanticize it. 

Scripture reminds us that transformation often begins in the renewing of our minds. When familiar patterns keep surfacing, it may be God’s invitation to see differently. I shared a reflection on that kind of perspective here

Because iron sharpening iron isn’t gentle. It’s metal against metal. There’s friction. Pressure. Resistance. Sometimes even sparks. Sharpening happens through contact, not comfort—and that means growth can feel uncomfortable, even painful at times. 

And yet, that’s how we grow. 

Growth doesn’t happen in isolation. We are shaped in relationship—through conversation, shared experience, and the willingness to be known. When we allow others to walk alongside us, to challenge us, to speak truth with care, we are sharpened. In turn, we sharpen them. Each of us becoming more refined, more aware, more grounded because we didn’t choose the easy path of staying the same. 

As we step into a new year, none of us really know what lies ahead. We don’t know the challenges or the joys that lie ahead of us in the coming months. What we do know is that we’ll walk through it one day at a time. One conversation. One decision. One foot in front of the other. 

There’s something freeing about remembering that we don’t need the whole year figured out. We only need to be present for today.  To take each day as it comes. To stay open to learning—even when that learning stretches us. To extend grace—to ourselves and to others—especially in the places where growth feels tender. 

Matthew 6:34“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” 

My hope for this new year is simple: that we would continue to grow together. That we would stay grounded. That we would be willing to sharpen and be sharpened—even when it’s uncomfortable. And that we would move forward—steady, intentional, and hopeful—one step at a time. 

Here’s to a new year.  May it be marked not by hurry, but by presence. 
Not by perfection, but by progress. And not by doing it all alone—but together. 

When you look back on 2025, what moments shaped you more than you expected—and what might those moments be quietly teaching you about where you’re headed next? 

Cedar Rock Ministries – Marriage Retreat

Cedar Rock Ministries - Marriage Retreat

How I Found Cedar Rock Ministries

I’m not 100% sure where or when I first heard about Cedar Rock Ministries. If I had to guess, it would be through Jessica Hefley…from her social media and podcast, Prosperity with Purpose.

Jessica is a Christian Leadership Coach who has had tremendous success in network marketing, and she’s someone I’ve admired from afar for quite some time.

If you’ve read my series on my experiences with Awaken Silent Retreats, you already know this isn’t the first time I’ve followed one of Jessica’s recommendations — and those retreats have been such a blessing in my life. So when she mentioned Cedar Rock Ministries, I paid attention.


What Is Cedar Rock Ministries?

Cedar Rock is a relationship development ministry that helps individuals and couples find the rest and connection they need to become more fully known and deeply loved.

“The righteous will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, ‘The Lord is upright; He is my Rock.’”

Psalm 92:12-15

Cedar Rock’s core values are powerful presence, restful receiving, unhurried pace, frequent subtraction, curious exploration, intentional play, and holistic growth. Each of these values is woven into the experience of their retreats — not just as ideas, but as ways of life.


Why We Chose Cedar Rock Ministries

One of the focuses of Perspective Confessions is well-being.

Constant stress, busyness, and a non-stop pace are not recipes for well-being — and yet, that’s how many of us live. The truth is, if we don’t intentionally choose to slow down, we never will. Our relationships, and our own hearts, eventually pay the price.

If you’ve read this far, that probably resonates with you. We have a real problem in Western culture with hurried living. Life doesn’t give us permission to slow down. We have to decide to do that for ourselves…to make intentional choices that prioritize rest, relationships, and silence.

That’s what led my husband, Jeff, and me to set a goal for 2025: to attend a One Couple Retreat with Cedar Rock Ministries. We wanted to pause, reconnect, and invest in our marriage…not just for us, but for the legacy we’re building together.


Our Experience: A One Couple Retreat

Our retreat took place at Glen Eyrie in Colorado Springs, Colorado — one of the most breathtaking places we’ve ever been. Nestled between red rock cliffs (right beside Garden of the Gods) and tall evergreens, the castle and grounds created the most peaceful venue. It felt like sacred ground — quiet, restorative, and wrapped in God’s presence.

The retreat itself was unlike anything we had experienced before. This wasn’t traditional marriage counseling or group therapy. It was deeply personal, one-on-one time with Nick and Renée Fouts, the founders of Cedar Rock Ministries, who welcomed us not as clients, but as friends.

They were so generous with their time with us. They listened deeply to our story: the challenges of blending families, the nuances of second marriages, the baggage we were both carrying with us, and the ways we wanted to grow closer to each other and to God.

What made it so powerful was hearing from both of them — husband and wife, man and woman. Their insights balanced and complemented each other beautifully, giving us perspective that a single counselor simply couldn’t.

Nick and Renée’s approach was gentle, wise, and deeply rooted in Scripture. There was no rush, no formula, just a rhythm of grace and honest conversation. We felt completely seen, known, and loved.

It wasn’t therapy — it was ministry. And it shifted something in us.

In the stillness of Glen Eyrie, surrounded by creation’s beauty, we experienced slowing down to listen to one another, and to make room for God to move.


As Jeff and I left our time with Nick and Renee, we both felt a quiet peace settle over us — the kind of peace that lingers. We left with renewed hearts, softened toward one another and more aware of God’s presence in our marriage.

That’s the beauty of slowing down long enough to listen — to God, to your spouse, and even to yourself. Somewhere between the conversations, the stillness, and the prayers, we found what our souls are craving: connection, understanding, and rest.

Marriage isn’t something you set on autopilot. It takes tending, grace, and a willingness to see your spouse not as an obstacle or project, but as a gift. This retreat reminded us that our relationship is a reflection God’s love, patience, and faithfulness.

If you’ve been feeling the weight of constant motion…like life is moving faster than your heart can keep up…maybe this is your reminder to pause. To step away from the noise, to seek God together, and to let Him renew what the world so easily tears apart.

Our time with Cedar Rock Ministries at Glen Eyrie was more than a retreat. It was an invitation to live slower, love deeper, and remember that when we make space for God, He restores and renews.

Hope in Loss – A Fierce Perspective

Fierce ForwardI’m excited to share with you a journal entry that I wrote several months ago. I’m also fiercely excited to share with you how I came to write this journal entry. I have been a part of a group called Fierce Forward since, gosh, around 2010. Or maybe I’ve just been a fan of Ashley Johns since then. I first became aware of Ashley when she was competing for (and won!) the Bodybuilding.com spokesmodel campaign. (Sorry, I know I’m going link happy! But this is important to lay the ground work.) Ashley has an amazing weight loss transformation and journey. I encourage you to read her story!

Around 2010, Ashley created a Facebook group called Fierce Forward. Her mantra of Fierce Forward means moving fiercely forward in life, no matter the obstacle. Fierce Forward has evolved into a community of people that aspire to achieve their goals, dreams and to love themselves and own who they are. Ashley also is the creator of the intention bracelets. An intention bracelet is made of African trade beads and adorned with a charm of what I like to refer to as a power word. My first intention bracelet (which Jeff bought for me) was Strength. When wearing the strength bracelet, it helps me intentionally know and own my strength. You can also create stacks of the bracelets called Armor. These bracelets become armor when facing life’s challenges, reminding you to Focus or Breathe or Be, etc.. If you see me, I most likely am wearing one or more of the intention bracelets. My most recent purchase is the Truth intention bracelet, which leads me back to my journal entry.

Fierce Forward is a very active community. Ashley created the Sisterhood of the Fierce Traveling Journal a while back. Basically what this means is that if you want to participate in writing in a journal every week or so, you can be grouped together with 3-4 other women. After you complete your writing for the week, you put the journal in the mail to pass along to your sister. You can write in the journal, draw, paint, use stickers, or use any other medium to express yourself. Ashley usually has a theme for the journaling duration. I have participated in the Sisterhood of the Fierce Traveling Journal for the 4th time now! And actually, writing in these journals is what helped me solidify my desire to begin a blog. Sharing in these journals some of my most innermost thoughts and then putting it in the mail for another person to see is intimidating. But then, reading what the sisters in my group have shared…sharing their vulnerability in their stories of triumph and hurts in life; gave me the courage to begin my blog. We all have a story to tell and I believe that we can learn so much from one another! And if nothing else, we get to connect to each other through similar life circumstances. I am very grateful to Ashley for founding Fierce Forward; for creating a community full of fierceness and positivity, especially in the midst of such a negative, stressful world in which we live!

Soooo….I wanted to share with you one of my journal entries I wrote on May 13, 2015. This journal entry actually fits perfectly after completing my 3 part series last week.

“A healthy relationship, whether it is romantic, brotherly or friendly is when each person is allowed room to grow, un-judged and still loved.” – Unknown

“Here’s the truth about BIG life changes: Some people won’t come with you and that’s OK.” – Unknown

“Both of these quotes resonate with me. I’ve always loved words. To be able to matter-of-factly put into words what I feel is usually a shot in the dark, but I love the idea of being able to speak, to write and describe as eloquently as I can my thoughts and my feelings.

I, fortunately or unfortunately, have more experience with losing people than I care to admit and I have learned the very hard way what healthy relationships look like and what they do not. There was a time in my life where I changed so much so quickly that it literally felt like I lost my family and friends all at once. To be left alone when you need support, encouragement, love and someone to help you pick up the broken pieces….that is probably one of the worst feelings. Feeling like you don’t exist, that you aren’t valuable enough to register on your loved one’s radar. I guess its a lot like being in a glass box in the middle of Grand Central Station…no one can get to you and you can’t get to them. Divided by some invisible layer. Untouchable.

As alone and abandoned as I felt, I know it was for the greater good. I had a therapist tell me once that “the healthier you become, the further away you will distance yourself from the toxic, unhealthy people in your life.”

Some of those people I lost, I lost forever. They were only meant to be in my life briefly. There were others that I lost for only a short amount of time. Distance had to be created for healing to take place. Those relationships that have been restored have helped me regain hope and faith in people…in relationships. That distance and space allowed me the chance to grieve, to think, to heal, to let time help me understand the part of me that has been unhealthy so that I could become a better person. I found grace for myself and that in turn helped me have grace for those who may have hurt me. I can see a bigger picture now. And understand that maybe, just maybe, they were only doing the best they could and that I, too, was only doing the best I could.

Big changes will bring loss. In that loss, there can be hope of restoration, of understanding, reflection, of truth. And hopefully it will bring you to a better place where new or old relationships can allow  you the freedom to be exactly who you are and at the same time allow you enough sturdiness as an individual for people in your life to be exactly who they are.”
– Carlynn Rainey