Tag: resilience

How to Protect Your Well-being

How to Protect Your Well-being

What is this picture? Any guesses?

Central Park in New York City

Why was Central Park created? Why does it make sense to have such a big park in the middle of a giant city?

Couldn’t that space be used for productivity? More buildings? More businesses? More revenue? How much revenue per square ft. do you think this space could generate?

The park is surrounded by massive skyscrapers. Relative to the space, a few more skyscrapers wouldn’t take up that much space of the park, right? How many office spaces could that be?

Central Park is 843 acres in size! It’s 2.5 miles from north to south and 0.5 miles from east to west.

It’s a National Historic Landmark and considered a masterpiece of landscape architecture.

Do you think whoever’s idea this was to have such a big, protected park in the city is crazy?

Central Park was created in 1858 to address the recreational needs of the rapidly growing city. Its purpose was to offer urban dwellers an experience of the countryside, a place to escape from the stresses of urban life and to commune with nature and other fellow New Yorkers.

In fact, Central Park has its own conservancy to preserve and celebrate Central Park as a sanctuary from the pace and pressures of city life, enhancing the enjoyment and well-being of all.

Why are we talking about Central Park?

Where is the Central Park in your life? How do you escape the pressures and stresses of life?

What do each of us have in common?

We are human beings.

As humans, we have needs and emotions that must be attended to, right?

What do you need for optimal personal well-being?

Enter the 4 pillars of well-being or resilience. You may be familiar with these 4 pillars which is part of the U.S. Air Force Comprehensive Airman Fitness.

Resilience Mental Physical Social Spiritual Logo

Think of these 4 pillars as your own Central Park, or your greenspace. Let’s break down each part.

As we review each one, ask yourself, “what do you have that’s working and what do you have that’s not working?”

Mental. Being able to cope with mental stressors and challenges. Paying attention to your needs and feelings. Your thoughts control your energy.

Physical. Being able to adopt and sustain a healthy lifestyle. Exercise, nutrition, and sleep are all important. Connecting mind and body. Strong bodies help build strong minds.

Social. Being able to network. Building and valuing interpersonal relationships. Social connections widen perceptions and grow character.

Spiritual. Being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.

What else is on the picture above with the pillars of resilience?

The arrow that points in both directions. What does that indicate to you?

Each pillar overlaps. Investment in one pillar spills into other pillars.

For example, let’s pretend you are training for a marathon. First of all, that’s a mental goal, full of positive thinking.

It’s also a very physical goal, meaning you will need to progressively train over time. You’ll need to feed your body well. You’ll need rest and sleep.

Many people that train for marathons train in groups. This is a social activity. You might be training with people that are more experienced than you, so you can learn from them. They can share tips and tricks. They will encourage you to keep going when you want to quit.

Running a marathon can also touch on the spiritual pillar. It will take perseverance to complete this goal. It’s a goal that is bigger than you.

If you are your own conservatory for your pillars, how are you doing? How well are you protecting these areas?

The Central Park conservatory works year-round, rain or shine to maintain and restore every inch of the park.

How well are you protecting your greenspace?

What rhythms do you need to add into your life? Daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly?

Each one of us has 52 weeks a year; 365 days. Is a couple weeks, or 14 days, of vacation a year sufficient to maintain or build your 4 pillars?

How are you protecting your greenspace so that you can show up for your family, your work and team, for yourself? You can’t pour from an empty glass, and you can’t help others without putting on your mask first.

Maybe this feels overwhelming because you need a lot of work in 2-3 of these pillars. Or maybe you know exactly what you need to do in only 1. Whatever the case, think about what is one small change you could make today?

Start there and build. Become your own Conservatory.

Unlocking the Power of Optimism for a Better Life

Unlocking the Power of Optimism for a Better Life

It’s no surprise that we live in a world where bad things happen. Especially if you watch the news. It can be quite depressing. It can leave us feeling pessimistic and “waiting for the next shoe to drop” so to speak.

What if you could flip the pessimism on it’s head and be more optimistic? Have you ever wondered the impact that optimism could bring to your life? Optimism might not be what you think it is.

In fact, what words or phrases come to mind when you hear the word optimistic?

  • Sunshine and rainbows
  • Rose colored glasses
  • Always happy

What about words like:

  • Successful outcomes?
  • Confidence?
  • Positivity?
  • Hopefulness?

Or phrases like:

  • Make lemonade out of life’s lemons, or
  • The glass is half full

The reality is that optimism is not all sunshine and rainbows. It’s not looking at the world through rose colored glasses either. Optimists are actually quite realistic. And just because you are an optimist, it doesn’t mean you are always happy. Nor does it mean that if you are happy, you are an optimist.

Optimism is, however, the focus of successful outcomes. It is having confidence, positivity, and hopefulness. It’s more than just being positive; it’s having a bright outlook on your future and doing what you can to make your situation better.

Optimisim is having a state of positive beliefs. Optimism is the tendency to notice and expect the positive, focus on what you can control, and take purposeful action. It is how we interpret and perceive the world around us and it’s about the action we take.

There is scientific studies on optimism. It’s been proven that it’s a cornerstone of wellbeing.

Science has also proven that optimistic people are:

  • more resilient
  • more productive, high performing
  • less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and burnout
  • goal setters and planners
  • more hopeful for the future.

They:

  • believe they control the direction of their lives
  • are better able to cope and recover after set-backs
  • are healthier and recover faster.

How do you cultivate optimism for your wellbeing?

When a challenge arises, do you expect the negative or expect the positive? Our brains are wired to look for what we believe. I

f you believe that you won’t achieve a goal, you are correct. Your brain will look for evidence to support that belief.

The opposite is also true. If you believe in a positive outcome, you are correct. Your brain will look for evidence to support that belief.

When a challenge arises, do you see a threat or an opportunity? Are you passive when a challenge arises or do you accept and control what you can?

Do you ruminate on the negatives of a challenge or do you focus on solutions? Do you avoid or take purposeful action? Do you isolate or hide when challenges arise or do you reach out for help?

If we are truthful, I’d imagine that we could fall on the spectrum of low or high optimism depending on the day or the circumstance. We are human after all. Optimism doesn’t mean you can’t be upset if things fall apart or get offtrack. However, it is a belief that you can make your situation better. It’s the realistic viewpoint that if everything falls apart, we get to choose how we pick it back up again.

How can you learn to be more optimistic?

First, we are aware of our thought tendencies. Then, we reframe from a pessimistic viewpoint to an optimistic thought process. It’s an intentional decision to fix the negatives and more forward…positively move forward.

Here’s your call to action.

  1. Think about 1 challenge that you’ve faced this year.
  2. What happened?
  3. How did you overcome it or pivot?
  4. What did you learn that you can apply to future, unknown challenges?

We move at lightening speed in our lives. It’s so easy to overcome or accomplish a goal and swiftly move on to the next thing. Taking a moment of reflection is important to realize how far you’ve com and how you navigated challenges.

Those reflections could help you flex your optimism muscle for future challenges.

Everyday is a Birthday and Celebrated as Such

Left to right front: Judy and Grannie Bea Left to right back: Ferrin and Carlynn
Left to right (front): Judy and Grannie Bea; (back): Ferrin and Carlynn

Today marks my grandmother’s 98th birthday! Last year, Chevron’s former Chief Diversity Officer asked Chevron employees for their stories of resiliency. In response to that ask, I wrote about my grandmother (Grannie Bea). She is 98 years strong and she has instilled resiliency within me by her influence in my life. Her story was so welcomed by the Chevron community, read by over 6,000 employees and over 100 comments, that it spurred me to create a birthday book for her with those employee comments from all over the world to show her that her story not only has impacted me, but also those that read about her. I wanted to share her story with you as well in recognition of her birthday. #resiliency #ChevronTogether #HeAR #strongwomen

Written October 21, 2020:

My mom passed away in late June 2007, she was 55 years old. I had just graduated from college the year prior and moved to Houston, TX…12 hours away from my home in Mississippi.

This story is not all sad, so please stay with me. The context of my mom’s passing is important to begin to describe my grandmother (my mom’s mom), Beatrice Barron or Grannie Bea as my sister and I call her. Grannie Bea has been a primary influence in my independence as a woman and having a successful career.

When my mom passed, it was obviously hard for me and for Grannie Bea. A parent should never experience the loss of a child, no matter the age. Although I had always been close to Grannie Bea, my mom’s death brought us even closer. The photo of Grannie Bea, my aunt and sister…the 4 of us are the immediate family left on my mom’s side. We have all grown closer since my mom’s death and I cherish every moment of our visits, phone calls and conversations. Each of us represent my mom and keep her memory alive. I like to think that this photo represents a present-day picture of my mom. Can you see her? She is alive and well because family is a reflection of those we have lost. Lost loved ones live on within us.

Grannie Bea will be 97 years old on November 4. She is feisty, independent and can talk the horns off a billy goat. She still lives in her house, the house that she and my grandfather built nearly 70 years ago. She lives unassisted and prefers it that way. She tells me that she feels great from the waist up but the waist down is another story. Her hips are not in the best shape. She’s in pain constantly and because of her age, surgery is out of the question and pain meds are a challenge. Her mind is clear and she can recall dates, memories and even family trees of other families just fine. Her memory works better than mine. She often will start a conversation like this, “do you remember Barbara? She was married to a Bernard, but her family was the Smith’s and her cousin is Sally and Sally married a Turner and her mom worked at the bank downtown and we all go to church together.” It’s very entertaining how she knows everyone locally in the small town of Booneville, MS. Her mind is sharp!

Grannie Bea has made it a priority to call and check on me, especially since my mom passed. Like I mentioned earlier, Grannie Bea can TALK and she shares frequently about family history. I’ve developed a habit to have a notepad and pen close by and jot down the artifacts she shares. My aunt often refers to them as Bea-isms. 😊 I’ll share a photo of some of my collection of the notepad paper I’ve accrued during our conversations below.

Notes from our phone conversations…

I often think it’s ironic that her birthday falls so close to election day. She has shared with me that she has only missed voting twice (as in 2 times!) in her lifetime! She also proudly tells me she’s been a Democrat since the age of 18. And speaking of her sharp mind, she still manages 2 rental houses and the leasing of 49 acres of farmland and 30 acres of pastureland. She even meets with the farmer to discuss what crop will be grown on the acreage depending upon what the market is doing! Cotton served the farmer and her well last year because soybeans were a bust the year prior. My Grannie Bea is something else!

My grandfather, Ruel, served in WWII and when he came home, he married Grannie Bea on March 12, 1948. They moved to Booneville, MS and bought a gas station/store and that’s was his job until they sold it in 1988. They lived in the back of the store until they could afford to build their house. Grannie Bea worked at the gas station/store after she got off work at the factory where she worked for 24 years making clothing. In 1942, she made army pants and from 1948 – 1972, she made dress shirts in her factory job.

She remembers when electricity came to nearby cities. In 1936 electricity came to Tupelo, MS and in 1940 Corinth, MS received electricity. Although I’m so impressed with my grandmother’s memory recall, what strikes me most and inspires me to be a better person is her attitude. She’s shared with me that “everyday should be considered a birthday and celebrated as such”. She once told me that my mom and aunt didn’t have a home economics class in school, her philosophy is to “get a cookbook and teach yourself”! I often think Grannie Bea was born before her time because she doesn’t succumb to the social norms, even during her day. She worked outside the home even with having 2 daughters. She and my grandfather shared chores, she cooked, and he washed the dishes. She’s encouraged me many times to get as much education as I needed to be successful in my career and “don’t ever depend upon a man”. This is so unlike the deep south culture and I am so thankful for her encouragement to be independent!

In my most recent conversation with her, we were discussing the pandemic and she said she’s never seen anything like this. She hasn’t been outside her house since early February. She has a great community that calls to check on her often, knocks on her door to say hello from a distance. Her spirits remain high regardless and she said, “might as well smile and laugh about it because I can’t change it”. She’s always had a positive spirit and I wonder if that has something to do with her long, quality life. Growing up as a little girl and staying at her house, she preferred to read the “funny papers”, the comics and she’d just laugh. She’s never been one for emotions, she’d tell me not to cry and always finds the silver lining in any dark cloud. She is a bright light in my life, and I feel very blessed and honored that she’s my Grannie Bea.