This article was originally published in Tish Co News.
What is a Silent Retreat?
In November 2024, I drove all the way to Higden, Arkansas for a silent retreat hosted by Awaken Silent Retreat. Silent retreat = no talking and silent rest. Practicing silence means turning off and putting away all distractions. This helps us to better hear from God and the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It’s a spiritual discipline. It’s also a practice of being with yourself and hearing your own thoughts and voice. It’s a practice of resting. I’ve been practicing silence and stillness for a few years, read about it here.
How to Know if You Are a Good Candidate for a Silent Retreat?
How often are you quiet during the day? How often do you truly rest? When you lay down at night, is this the first time that you are quiet with no distractions? Does your mind spring to life with thoughts and worries? Yep, mine too. This means I’m not allowing time in the day, to think, to pray, or to process. In fact, I often work hard to keep from having to think, process, or feel because it seems overwhelming. It takes a lot of energy to keep pushing things down or away. This might be why feeling tired and overwhelmed are commonplace these days. We aren’t allowing space to just be; to be a human being instead of a human doing. When I first heard about this silent retreat, it was on a podcast, Prosperity with Purpose. The podcaster, Jessica Hefley, had recently attended. They had many wonderful things to say about it, and I immediately wanted to experience it too. She described it as a way to eliminate distraction, crowds, and hurry which stands between us and peace. These are tools the enemy uses to keep us separated from God.
Jesus spoke to his disciples in Mark 6:31a. He said, “Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
I didn’t know much about this retreat. However, I trusted Jessica Hefley’s review on her podcast, Silent Retreat to 10x Your Life. So, I sought it out, signed up, and prepared myself to drive 7 hours to attend. That’s a key indicator that I was craving peace and rest. The drive wasn’t difficult at all. Much of the travel was familiar to me. This is because we usually travel through Arkansas on our way home to Iuka, MS.
Silent Retreat Experience
Once I arrived, I was greeted by Danielle, who was leading us that weekend. It was going to be a small group, only 5 of us. After introductions, we ate dinner all while still talking and getting to know one another. Then, we gathered in the living room. Danielle led us in a few songs of worship. She prepared our minds with scripture and then we closed with prayer. We turned off our phones and turned them in for the weekend, and we shifted into silence. Each of us had our own bedrooms and I quickly retired to mine. I was tired from the day’s drive. My usual routine for bed is watching TV and being on my phone. I had neither and I slept 8 hours that night! When I awoke and emerged from my room, breakfast had already been made. I took my coffee outside on the deck and then proceeded down to the lake shore to explore. I noticed deer and dog prints in the mud and the small, smooth rocks along the shore. I sat on top of a big rock overlooking the lake. Fishermen in boats would wave as they passed by. There was an island directly across from shore and kayaks could be used to get there. One of the ladies from the retreat had struck out on an island adventure. She was braver than I. I wandered back up to the cabin. I really didn’t want to read a book while I was at the retreat. I wanted to be silent and hear from God. My mind was not cooperating. I remembered Danielle’s prompting that sometimes it’s better to focus your mind on a book. I pulled from the library the one she recommended, “Living Fearlessly” by Jamie Winship. The book was incredibly helpful with prayer prompts and encouragement for listening for God’s voice. The book recommended to pray and write down what you hear or sense from God. Looking up from the book, I found myself noticing the leaves drop from the trees. This is what I wrote in my journal:
“Methodical drops. Not one leaf in a hurry, making its decent gracefully with swoops and spins. Not to be rushed. The leaves fall joyfully. The season changing and the leaves don’t try to stay. When it’s their time to go, they let go and fall freely. Not a worry or bother. They are doing what they are supposed to do. No argument, only a delightful freefall to make a crunchy carpet on the ground.”
Later, my attention was brought to the squirrels. I wrote about them, too:
“Scampering squirrels. Jumping from one branch to another. They must weigh a few ounces because the branches barely move under their weight. Back and forth they scale at least 15 trees. Never a misstep. They are skilled tree climbers and jumpers. Never needing the ground to get to where they are going, instead they navigate tree city. Scampering to gather food for the day. Methodically searching for the day’s allotment. They don’t spin or toll. They know they will be provided for; their creator provides for them.”
That evening, I found another big rock to perch upon with a blanket and watched over the lake. I loved seeing all nature’s details. The vibrant green weeds against the stark contrast of the rust brown rocks, the dormant gray trees and grass. The white and yellow flowers on the weeds. I was still and silent with no distractions. Because of this, I noticed all the landscape colors. I slept for 9 hours that night. We remained silent until 10:00 am on Sunday for a total of 40 hours of silence. After we broke our silence, Danielle led us with worship songs and scripture. We each shared what our experience had been. God met each of us right where we needed Him…all in unique and different ways. For me, it was God bringing me into the present to notice the leaves, the squirrels, and the color palette along the shoreline. My mind is usually so distracted with worries that it’s hard to be present. All in all, it was an absolute wonderful experience and I already went back for another one this April! (I’ll write about that experience soon too!)
Silence is an Neglected Gift
Our world is filled with distractions. Unless we are intentional with who and what is gaining our attention, the distractions will win every time. The silent retreat was a way to encourage me to find pockets of time to be silent. To put away the phone, take a walk in nature, and be silent and still. Silence is rare and an often-neglected gift.
Is it just me or has life become expensive? Recently on a grocery trip, I spent $55.40 for only 10 items, the majority of which were vegetables! What in the world?! When prices continue to rise and our paychecks aren’t keeping up, something must give. Ready or not, now the holidays are upon us. Maybe you don’t have money to spend on presents this year. That’s ok. Let’s explore ways we can keep costs down this holiday season.
First, if you need to scale back gift giving, let your friends and family know. Be upfront, be honest. Even if it feels vulnerable, do it anyway. Who knows, it might bring a sigh of relief to your friends and family because they are feeling the pinch too. See…your bravery in being honest has already been a gift for your friends and family!
Let’s focus on what we can do instead of what we cannot do, shall we?
1. Name drawing – everyone’s name goes into a bowl, and you draw one person in which to purchase a gift. Ground rules would need to be set, such as max dollar amount for the gift. Make sure the ground rule maker knows what your budget is to help manage expectations.
2. Potluck meals – if you are normally the host or hostess of a holiday meal, ask your guests to bring drinks, sides, desserts, appetizers, etc. This might add extra effort in organizing to cover all the bases of the meal, but organizing is FREE and the payoff is you aren’t incurring the full expense of the meal.
3. Handwritten letters – when was the last time you received a handwritten letter? When was the last time you wrote one? Texting, emails, and posts on social media are what is considered communication these days. What if you wrote a letter to your son or daughter telling them how you’ve witnessed them grow this year? What if you wrote your mom or dad a letter reminiscing about memories and how you think of them? Handwritten letters are priceless! It means that you took time out of your busy schedule and thought of them.
4. Draw/Art – do you like to doodle or have an artistic knack? Do you have access to pencils, crayons, colored pencils, markers, paint, etc.? Why not draw your friend or family member a picture? Before you dismiss this idea, it is like handwritten letters in that you took time and drew from your talents for someone special in your life. While growing up in Iuka, there was an elderly lady that was a member of the Iuka Church of Christ. I believe her name was Lenile Archer. Every birthday I received a postcard from her. On one side was a written happy birthday message and on the other side was beautiful art that she had drawn. Even as a young child, I knew how special it was to receive one of her works of art.
5. Gift certificates – not the ones that you are thinking. These gift certificates will not cost money. Who on your Christmas list is a new parent? Could you offer babysitting services to give mom or mom and dad some time for errands or a date night? Do you have a skill that someone could benefit? Do you know how to fix mechanical issues on a car? Do you know how to do simple home repairs? Know how to wash a car? Your gift certificate would be for your time and skill to help your loved one.
6. Experiences – do you know how to make a great cup of coffee? What about a signature meal or dessert? Is there someone in your life that you’d like to spend more time or catch-up with? Your great cup of coffee or dinner or dessert would be a setup for quality time with your friend or family member. Invite them over or bring your goodies to them to have great conversation and reconnect.
7. Photos – when was the last time you printed a photo? How many are on your phone? Who on your Christmas list would love to have the special moment you captured on camera either from years ago or recently? Dollar Tree has inexpensive frames last time I checked.
8. Volunteer together – as we feel like our dollars aren’t going as far as they used to, one of the best ways to move our minds off our present circumstances is to help others. There are many ways to serve our communities. Look to your local churches to serve a family in need. Look to your local animal shelters to donate your time. Visit your local nursing home to sit with someone that may not have loved ones close by anymore.
Money is a resource. Time is also a resource. Sometimes there is more and sometimes less. Look for the blessings regardless. Less money requires creativity. Think outside the gift box. You might be surprised when you don’t miss the number of presents under the tree. The time and experiences that you’ve created instead of buying them will be tucked away in your memories for far longer than the latest gadget fad. All of us have limited time with our loved ones. Many of the suggestions listed are based upon time. Time is an investment. Is fighting crowds to find a gift how you’d like to spend it? Or endless time online shopping? We only have so much face-to-face time with the people on our Christmas lists that we won’t get back. Choose and spend your scarce resources wisely.
