How to Protect Your Well-being

How to Protect Your Well-being

What is this picture? Any guesses?

Central Park in New York City

Why was Central Park created? Why does it make sense to have such a big park in the middle of a giant city?

Couldn’t that space be used for productivity? More buildings? More businesses? More revenue? How much revenue per square ft. do you think this space could generate?

The park is surrounded by massive skyscrapers. Relative to the space, a few more skyscrapers wouldn’t take up that much space of the park, right? How many office spaces could that be?

Central Park is 843 acres in size! It’s 2.5 miles from north to south and 0.5 miles from east to west.

It’s a National Historic Landmark and considered a masterpiece of landscape architecture.

Do you think whoever’s idea this was to have such a big, protected park in the city is crazy?

Central Park was created in 1858 to address the recreational needs of the rapidly growing city. Its purpose was to offer urban dwellers an experience of the countryside, a place to escape from the stresses of urban life and to commune with nature and other fellow New Yorkers.

In fact, Central Park has its own conservancy to preserve and celebrate Central Park as a sanctuary from the pace and pressures of city life, enhancing the enjoyment and well-being of all.

Why are we talking about Central Park?

Where is the Central Park in your life? How do you escape the pressures and stresses of life?

What do each of us have in common?

We are human beings.

As humans, we have needs and emotions that must be attended to, right?

What do you need for optimal personal well-being?

Enter the 4 pillars of well-being or resilience. You may be familiar with these 4 pillars which is part of the U.S. Air Force Comprehensive Airman Fitness.

Resilience Mental Physical Social Spiritual Logo

Think of these 4 pillars as your own Central Park, or your greenspace. Let’s break down each part.

As we review each one, ask yourself, “what do you have that’s working and what do you have that’s not working?”

Mental. Being able to cope with mental stressors and challenges. Paying attention to your needs and feelings. Your thoughts control your energy.

Physical. Being able to adopt and sustain a healthy lifestyle. Exercise, nutrition, and sleep are all important. Connecting mind and body. Strong bodies help build strong minds.

Social. Being able to network. Building and valuing interpersonal relationships. Social connections widen perceptions and grow character.

Spiritual. Being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.

What else is on the picture above with the pillars of resilience?

The arrow that points in both directions. What does that indicate to you?

Each pillar overlaps. Investment in one pillar spills into other pillars.

For example, let’s pretend you are training for a marathon. First of all, that’s a mental goal, full of positive thinking.

It’s also a very physical goal, meaning you will need to progressively train over time. You’ll need to feed your body well. You’ll need rest and sleep.

Many people that train for marathons train in groups. This is a social activity. You might be training with people that are more experienced than you, so you can learn from them. They can share tips and tricks. They will encourage you to keep going when you want to quit.

Running a marathon can also touch on the spiritual pillar. It will take perseverance to complete this goal. It’s a goal that is bigger than you.

If you are your own conservatory for your pillars, how are you doing? How well are you protecting these areas?

The Central Park conservatory works year-round, rain or shine to maintain and restore every inch of the park.

How well are you protecting your greenspace?

What rhythms do you need to add into your life? Daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly?

Each one of us has 52 weeks a year; 365 days. Is a couple weeks, or 14 days, of vacation a year sufficient to maintain or build your 4 pillars?

How are you protecting your greenspace so that you can show up for your family, your work and team, for yourself? You can’t pour from an empty glass, and you can’t help others without putting on your mask first.

Maybe this feels overwhelming because you need a lot of work in 2-3 of these pillars. Or maybe you know exactly what you need to do in only 1. Whatever the case, think about what is one small change you could make today?

Start there and build. Become your own Conservatory.

Silent Retreat 2025: Table Exercise

Silent Retreat 2025: Table Exercise

If you haven’t read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 yet of the Silent Retreat 2025 series, see links for the full story. 

The final morning of the retreat, Danielle was the first up to make breakfast for all of us.

As the cabin slowly began waking up, each of us wandered to the kitchen. We were still in silence. Some ate breakfast at the long kitchen table. Others took their breakfast on the back porch or in the living room. 

I pulled up a chair facing the window, ate my breakfast, and continued reading my Living Fearless book until time to meet in the living room. This gathering would indicate our coming out of silence.

Danielle led us in songs of praise and scripture. Then the focus is back to us and she asks who would like to share how God met us in our silence.

It’s not a requirement to share. It’s an invitation with what you feel comfortable sharing.

Each woman’s experience was unique. Each was tender, sweet, and sometimes heartbreaking too. Life stuff that needed to surface in the slowing down and silence so God could tenderly be near and have the opportunity to love, care, and begin the healing. 

I decided to share something I wrote which was prompted at the very beginning of silence.

Rewind back to the first night. Danielle prompted us to take part in an exercise using our holy imaginations.

What is holy imagination? God created you after His own image. God has an incredible imagination. Have you enjoyed a painted sky at sunset or sunrise? What about a giraffe or zebra? Then, you have experienced His imagination in creation. I think He may have a sense of humor too.

God created your imagination also. With His Spirit living within us, we are capable of using our holy imaginations while asking Him to guide us.

That first night, Danielle prompted us to close our eyes and imagine a table. What does the table look like? How many chairs? Where is the table? Is there a distinct scent or smell? 

You are at the table and Jesus appears too. Where are you sitting? Where is Jesus sitting? What does Jesus look like?

Jesus asks you if there’s something of value you’d like to give Him. What is it? What do you have to give Jesus?

What happens when you give it to Him?

Jesus also has something to give to you. What does He have for you? What happens when He gives it to you?

Do you have a conversation with Jesus? What does He say to you? What do you say to Him?

Below is my result of the exercise and what I shared with the ladies as part of my experience with God during that weekend.

Circle table. Where? No characteristics to the room. Only 2 chairs. No distinct smell. What am I holding that is of value to give to Jesus? 

Control.

Jesus sits down directly across from me. 

What does He look like?

He looks kind. Long hair. Beard. Gentle smile.

“Is there something you’d like to give me?” He asks. A gentle question.

My eyes immediately fill with tears and the tears fall from my face to the table.

I know He’s asking for something that is not and was never mine. And yet it’s something I hold onto so tightly because it feels like I am in control. 

I get to make decisions. I get to choose where my life goes next.

The control I have to give Him is lies.

It’s a lie I’ve believed in for so long so I could feel safety and security. 

It’s all an illusion.

Jesus knows this and He knows I’m coming to that conclusion too.

“What would you like to give me?” He gently asks again.

“Control,” I reply with an emotion filled voice and tear filled eyes.

The control I have is represented as a hand-sized white orb that glows.

I take it from my lap and put it on the table. I stare at it scared to let it go because it represents that I can control my fears. 

And if I don’t have it, what then? Am I doomed? Will I disappear? Will I survive? What will become of me?

I look across the table to Jesus with tears running down my face.

“I know,” He whispers. 

His eyes are kind and compassionate. He extends His arms across the table to meet me in my dilemma. 

Again, an invitation.

This gives me a bit more courage to push the white orb of control to the middle of the table where Jesus’ hands are.

It’s only then that I notice His hands. They are large, masculine yet soft. They remind me of my Dad’s hands. Then, I remember that my Dad was made in His image too.

I see the scars on His hands and a new wave of emotion strikes me.

Jesus did not control the cruxifixction. He asked God to “let this cup pass from me”. There was no other way and He let His Father’s will be done. 

He chose to not control. He surrendered. 

Jesus knows the temptation to control and how hard it is to surrender.

Even though the white, glowing orb of control is now in the middle of the table, I have not let go of it yet.

Jesus’ hands are open to receive and I open mine to release, to let go…

The white orb rolls into His hands. He pulls it into Himself and it’s gone. 

His hands come back to meet mine. “I know how hard that was,” he says. 

“You were holding onto something that was not real, something that the harder you gripped it, the more life it took from you.”

“Now, your hands are open and ready to receive the gifts and blessings I have for you instead. Now, you can carry me with you to combat the fears, the hardships, the scary things in your life. You can grip and hold onto me as tightly as you’d like. I am not going anywhere. I am with you always. I have always been with you. With the relinquishment of control, you have made room for me.”

“I am real. I am truth. You traded what is false for what is true. How much better is that? Do not grieve letting go of lies. Stand firm in truth. You are my daughter. I know your heart and I love you,” Jesus says to me. 

What do you have that is valuable to you to give to Jesus today? What do you think He has for you?

Lead the way, Lord. Amen.

Silent Retreat 2025: Personal Wellbeing

A few months ago, I wrote about my first experience attending Awaken Silent Retreat, posts linked here and here.

And only 5 months later, I attended again. This time on my birthday weekend!

The Silent Retreat was in a different location this time. It was hosted at Shepherd of the Ozarks (SOTO), located in the heart of the Ozark mountains in Harriett, Arkansas.

The total drive for me was around 8 hours from Houston, Texas to Harriett, Arkansas.

I had never been to the Ozark Mountains before. It is beautiful! The last hour of the drive was breathtaking! It reminded me of the Smoky Mountains.

When I arrived, I parked and unloaded my car only to reload my things into a truck. The truck would cross the creek and take me the remaining distance to the cabin.

The creek crossing reminded me of the creek you cross going to J.P. Coleman State Park. My Iuka, Mississippi friends will know what I mean.

But the creek at SOTO was much larger and required a 4-wheel drive vehicle.

The weather forecast was looking like a lot of rain. What we didn’t know is that there would be record breaking rain that weekend.

Silent Retreat 2025: Personal Wellbeing

After unloading our things, we settled into the kitchen where a meal had thoughtfully been prepared for all of us.

As you can see from the photo, there were 19 ladies in attendance.

The cabin was gigantic, about 7,600 square feet. It was 3 levels with numerous bedrooms. Plenty of room to spread out both in the cabin and on the front and back porches.

All during dinner, there was talking and conversation. After dinner, we gathered in the living area. Danielle led us in worship songs and scripture. She guided us in an exercise to use our holy imagination that prepared our minds for the weekend of silence.

Then, with our phones turned into Danielle, we shifted into silence.

When I returned to my room, I was met with interesting visitors in the bathroom. Not 1, not 2, but 3 wasps were in my bathroom! I had to summon help from Danielle to get rid of them.

The wasps would prove to be interesting violators of my silent weekend.

It rained, thundered, and lightened much of the night. As the day broke, so did the weather. Many of the ladies were going outside to explore the outdoors. It was beautiful scenery at SOTO. I had heard some of them talk about a prayer walk the night before. The hike had signs with scripture prompts along the path. This is where I wanted to go.

I packed up my journal and pen in my bag. Grabbed a coffee to go and set out to find this path. I found the prayer walk and started to doubt if I should continue. Since it had been raining the night prior, it was muddy and where the path began, it was steep. I hesitated, but decided to at least go a little ways before giving up.

My next hurdle was wooden planks that served as bridges without hand rails over shallow ravines. When stepping on the wooden planks, they bowed under my weight. I must have stepped forward and stepped backward at least 3 or 4 times.

I was out of my comfort zone. And then I laughed at myself, “says the girl that drove 8 hours alone to be at a silent retreat.”

This gave me gusto to cross the plank quickly only to be met with a second plank to cross. I didn’t hesitate as much with this one.

I came to the first scripture prompt, Psalms 96, a psalm of praise. It seemed so appropriate given the beautiful mountains and the gurgling creek below me. I sat in silence and read the scripture through again and enjoyed the sights of the beautiful landscape.

The next scripture prompt on the path was Psalms 32:1-7, a psalm of confession.

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.”

I was struck with how the verse spoke to me. If I hide and keep sin in my life a secret, I will waste away. Sin is detrimental physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The part about “your hand was heavy upon me” says to me that your conscious is speaking about the sin. Sin preoccupies our lives and takes our strength. The relief from the bind of sin is to confess it to the Lord.

This was an humbling experience on the prayer path…to sit in silence and to sit with truth.

I continued on the path only to come to another crossing. The path continued on the other side of the creek. I was wearing tennis shoes and given the rain the night before, the creek was high.

I decided I would not cross. Instead I found a makeshift perch on a rock and decided to sit and take in God’s beauty He created.

Because I did not have my phone or camera, my journal and pen served to capture the beauty.

It’s easy to forget to use all our senses when we experience something. We carry these mini computers with us all day, i.e. phones. It’s easy to snap a photo, but what else other than the visual did you experience?

Writing down what I was seeing, hearing, and feeling helped me capture the moment and embed it in my mind. Here’s what I wrote:

“Water gurgling and bubbling. Water falling that sounds like water filling up a bathtub. Very vibrant greens from the moss on the sides of the trees and rocks to the grass and buds on awakening trees from their winter’s nap. The simplicity of beauty. The grass, the trees, the moss, and the water doing nothing other than what they were designed to do. No rush, no busy, just being what they are supposed to be. They are all enough, more than enough. Flowing water around the bend and out of sight. Not in a hurry, but a constant flow. Roots that create the perfect natural stair steps to the water. Lavender flowers. Are those weeds? Does it matter? I’ve never seen this place. It feels like a gift from God as I journeyed to spend uninterrupted time with Him. The temperature is perfect. Not hot, not cold. Mossy, velvet carpet. Soft to the touch. And purple flowers popping out here and there among the fresh greenery.”

If you’ve been reading my blog, you may find that I write often about silence and stillness. Silence and stillness are tools. They are spiritual disciplines. They are practices to have greater personal wellbeing.

Our modern world is noisy and busy.

What are you missing by getting swept away in the constant demand on your time and the distractions?

What if you carved out time for silence and stillness? What do you think would happen?

Maybe you’d notice and experience the world around you like I experienced being in the mountains and by the creek.

Maybe you’d experience all of your senses.

Maybe you’d be aware of more.

Many think that silence is taking things away, like your phone and distractions. While that’s true, what’s also true is thinking about what silence could give you/add back instead.

Stay tuned! Next week, I’ll continue writing about my experience with a Silent Retreat weekend.