Tag: Texas

The Word I Didn’t Choose

The Word I Didn't Choose

I’m not one to pick “a word for the year”. 

I’m not against, it’s just not something I’ve given much focus to.  

And, being a writer, maybe I don’t want to limit myself to one word! 😉  

But I do pay attention to words that seem to come up over and over again.  

The ones I keep hearing. 

The ones that start carrying more weight and meaning than they used to. 

These are words to pay attention to. 

So far, this year, this word has been community.  

Community in a Big City

Living in such a big city like Houston makes community complicated. 

It’s normal here to live 30+ miles from where you work. That can easily mean an hour commute one way. 

After doing that all week, the idea of driving back into traffic to meet a friend can feel exhausting.  

Unintentionally, you begin calculating: 

  • What time will I get home? 
  • How late will this go? 
  • Is it worth the energy? 

Slowly, isolation becomes practical. 

Comedian Nate Bargatze jokes about this in one of his comedy shows. 

“In your 20’s you’re down for anything, anytime, anywhere doesn’t matter. If a friend calls to ask if you want to do something, you’re in.” 

“In your 30’s, if a friend calls to ask you to meet up, you’re a little hesitant. You ask questions about who is going to be there and when is it over before you commit.” 

“In your 40’s, when a friend calls to ask you to do something, you are offended that they’d even ask.” 

It’s funny because it’s true!

But beneath the humor is something deeper: as we get older, busier, and more established, connection starts feeling optional. 

The Illusion of Independence

Because Houston is so big, it can have a way of toughening you. 

This year marks 20 years of living here. While I pride myself on being independent, independence can have a way of hardening you into isolation. 

Not because you decide you don’t need people, but because life trains you to manage on your own. 

You work. 

You commute. 

You handle things. 

You keep going. And life keeps going at lightening speed. 

And you convince yourself you’re fine. 

We Said Yes

One of the ways to have a community is in church. Many who attend church in Houston attend what is referred to as a mega-church. A mega-church will have 2,000 or more attendees. It’s very hard to create relationships and be known in such a large congregation. 

The church my husband and I attend is called Church Project. It is a church of house churches.  

Yes, we gather on Sunday mornings in a church building and we have 2 services to fit everyone. 

But how we create community within Church Project are House Churches. These are smaller gatherings usually on Sunday evenings or Wednesday nights in homes usually in your neighborhood.  

A group of House Churches connected together as one through Church Project. This is modeled after the New Testament church where people would gather in each other’s homes for Christian fellowship. 

This usually entails gathering: 

  • to share a meal 
  • for prayer time 
  • for Bible study 
  • for Conversation 

 This is a way to know and be known. It creates intimacy and an opportunity to build relationships and do life with others. 

My husband and I didn’t participate in House Church for years. We finally decided a couple years ago to start going and we are so glad we did. 

It has proven to be such a blessed transformational decision for us.  

The Risk of Being Known

For someone who has lived most of her adult life fiercely independent, being known can feel vulnerable, and attending House Church has challenged me in a good way.  

The times we’ve chosen to let our House Church in on areas that we were struggling has proven to be the best risk. 

We’ve received immediate prayer. We’ve received text messages during the week checking in and encouraging us. I’ve received the most delicate and tender prayer messages. 

Most recently, my grandmother passed away and before I left to travel for her funeral, I found a bouquet of flowers and a card on my front door step from our House Church. It was such a thoughtful and sincere gesture.  

When you live far from family, grief can feel isolating in a way that’s hard to describe. Our House Church reminded me I wasn’t alone. 

After all the time I’ve spent being independent, when you begin being cared for by others, it’s a bit shocking and learning to receive becomes another challenge.

Sometimes you don’t know how much you need community until you actually have one. 

It’s not all about receiving. Being cared for and having that modeled for you teaches you how to be a community for others. 

I have room to grow in this regard. When others show up for you and show you the love of Jesus, it fills you up in a way that you want to pour out to others.  

One of my favorite versus is Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, so one person’s character sharpens another.” This is House Church.

A community that sharpens one another. Sharpening in a sweet way and sharpening in a transformational way. Living in community with others will hold up a mirror, at times, showing you where you can do better and be better. 

Small Town vs. Big City

Community came up again while I was home for my grandmother’s funeral. I attended the church I grew up in, where my Dad still attends. So many people came to hug me, share stories, and words of encouragement for me.  

This is also community.  

This is community of a small town. This kind of community feels natural in a small town.  

People come together. People know you, watched as you grew up, has known your family for generations.  

These are people that take care of you. And I’m comforted by this as I travelled back home to Houston knowing so many care and love my Dad.  

I know that community will come around my Dad, check on him, and love on him when I can’t be there in person. 

When you live in a big city, no one accidentally builds deep connection. You have to choose it. 

I’m so thankful we have that opportunity with our House Church with Church Project.  

The Modern Convenience Problem

We live in a modern world that has made community optional. 

Why would you go next door to borrow a cup of sugar when you could have it delivered?  

Why talk to a cashier when you can check yourself out? 

In the name of “progress” we’ve eliminated community. We’ve forgotten what it means to depend upon others, to be vulnerable, to ask for help, to share a meal. 

But we were never designed to live this way. 

A Question Worth Asking

When was the last time you let yourself be known? 

Not admired. 

Not competent. 

Not capable. 

Known. 

Isolation rarely announces itself. 

It quietly settles in and becomes the normal. 

And sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn’t proving you can handle everything alone. 

It’s letting someone show up for you. 

So how do we bring community back in our modern world? 

By choosing inconvenience on purpose. 

By lingering after church instead of slipping out quickly. 
By saying yes to dinner even when the commute feels long. 
By knocking on a neighbor’s door instead of ordering another delivery. 
By letting someone see beyond “I’m fine.” 

Community isn’t gone. 

It’s waiting for intention. 

Progress Doesn’t Always Equal More 

Progress Doesn't Always Equal More

Earlier this week, Jeff and I set out on a road trip to Iuka, Mississippi, to spend Christmas with my family. As we navigated out of Houston, Texas, we took the 99 East toll road to reach I-59—a route we don’t travel often. Along that stretch of toll road, we were struck by how much construction and how many new buildings were going up. 

What once were open fields and trees are now being cleared to make room for “progress.” Seeing this makes both Jeff and me feel sad. We think about the deer and other wildlife that once lived there, now pushed into smaller and smaller spaces. We also find ourselves wondering: does Houston really need more strip malls, more stores, more retail? It feels unnecessary. Like too much. 

You can feel the stress in the constant push for more. More growth. More expansion. More productivity. It never seems to be enough. That steady chaos creates a life with little room for rest, and over time, it becomes exhausting. 

As we get further away from Houston and closer to Iuka in the 12 hour drive, the landscape begins to change. The land opens up. Houses sit farther back from the road. Fences stretch across fields holding horses or cows. And beyond what I can see, something else shifts—my body begins to relax. My breathing slows. Without realizing it, I’ve been holding tension. 

Jason Shepperd, pastor at Church Project often says, “life is the balance of holding the tension between blessings and burdens.” This may sum up what I’ve been tangibly feeling, holding the tension between blessings and burdens and the big city can often feel tipped toward burdensome for me. 

It’s important to acknowledge that living in a small town doesn’t eliminate stress. People in places like Iuka still work hard, carry responsibilities, and worry about the same things we all do. Life in the United States often feels hurried and demanding, regardless of where you live. 

What feels different is the environment. A slower pace doesn’t demand the same urgency. There are fewer reminders to rush, consume, or compete. Even when life feels overwhelming, the surroundings don’t add another layer of noise. 

I’m not saying one place is better than the other. Cities like Houston offer opportunity and energy. Small towns offer quiet and space. But they ask different things of us, and our bodies seem to know the difference. 

As we near Iuka, my shoulders drop and my breath deepens. The noise fades. Maybe progress doesn’t always mean adding more. Maybe sometimes it looks like slowing down—and remembering that enough really is enough. 

As 2025 comes to a close this week, I encourage you to take a few moments and take inventory of your life. Where can you eliminate hurry and stress for the new year? 

Is it clearing out physical stress in your home, like re-organizing a closet or garage? 

Is it eliminating financial stress by choosing to buy less in the new year? 

Is it taking stock of your relationships? Choosing to spend more time with those that bring you energy versus those that may drain your energy? 

Is it creating a new or improved habit of going to the well of your Heavenly Father, John 4:14? Spending quiet time with Him? Praying more? Reading scripture? 

Is it decluttering your electronic life? Deleting apps? Turning off notifications? Cleaning up your inbox and unsubscribing? 

Or is it something else? 

This is an opportunity to say in 2026, “less is more”. 

For more ideas on creating margin in your life, Finding 1 Hour of Silence Each Week. 

A Story About Joe – Family, Values & Principles

A Story About Joe - Family, Values & Principles

My Dad and Uncle’s first cousins grew up in close proximity to one another in Kossuth, MS. Their physical proximity was simply an outward representation of their relational closeness. And still is today.

Even though life has taken them to places like Nashville, TN; Sikeston, MO; Tyler, TX; Corinth, MS; and Kossuth, MS to name several. They all still stay in touch.

They gather together at least once a year. Texting and calling, too, to stay connected. And when they are gathered together under one roof, it’s like they’ve never missed a beat!

I’ve had the privilege to be in the room with them several times as an adult. It’s always a treasure. They are a fun group! They pick on each other, laugh, and share stories about the mischief of growing up. I love the insights I get about my Dad from their stories. I also enjoy hearing about my family, about where I come from, and about my roots.

They have a tradition of going to Canton, TX for the first Monday flea market in the fall. My Uncle has planned the once a year gathering for many years. They rent a big van, meet up in Corinth, all pile in, and make the ~8 hour trip to Canton for a weekend.

Read another story from their 1st Monday flea market trip here!

This flea market is something to experience. It’s acres upon acres of flea market finds. Jeff and I have even joined them a time or two.

Last May, I went home to Iuka, Mississippi for a quick weekend to celebrate my grandmother’s, Grannie King’s, birthday. She was turning 96 and my Dad and Uncle had summoned the family together to celebrate.

Once we were all settled into the living room after birthday food and cake, the story telling began again. One story has stuck with me since then.

Joe Garrett told a story about a time he was going to get a custom suit made. When the quote came back for the suit, it was going to cost him $750. He declined it and went on his way.

He explained to us in the room that is wasn’t because he couldn’t have afforded it. He replied in his easy going way, “I could buy each one of you a suit at that price.”

He went on to connect the principle of not buying the suit to a childhood memory. He had grown up poor. Anything he had was marked by hard labor, such as cutting ditch banks down by hand with a kaiser blade. He earned just twenty-five cents an hour under the hot sun for his work.

“When that’s where you came from, you know how hard and how long you have to work to buy a $750 suit. Then, you decide if its worth it or not.” Joe explained.

Those long days had shaped his view of money, work, and what really mattered. Spending that much on a suit simply didn’t sit right with the boy who once worked for quarters an hour.

This story impacted me. It’s such a stark contrast to today’s world. New gadgets, clothes, and luxuries are purchased almost without a second thought—Joe’s decision felt almost radical.

We live in a culture of consumerism, where society measures success by what we own. Many people have forgotten what a dollar really represents and how hard it was to earn. But Joe hadn’t forgotten. He carried those ditch-bank days with him, and they guided his choices.

Joe’s restraint wasn’t about deprivation. It was about wisdom. Remembering where he came from and those principles guiding him. He didn’t need possessions to prove his success. Joe was always the same person and a steady constant.

And as I remember him, I’m reflecting on my life and the principles that I have learned through hard times. Am I letting the world change me? Do I value what I already have, or am I always reaching for more? Do I pause to consider the story behind each dollar, or do I spend without thought? What I know about Joe’s life reminds me to slow down, to choose gratitude over more stuff, and to remember that true wealth has nothing to do with what we own.

Joe’s story is a reminder that true wealth isn’t about what we can buy, but about living with values that are priceless.

Feelings and Resiliency

Feelings and Resiliency

My full time job has been marked with lots of feelings this year.

My company has had 15 – 20% headcount reductions (read as layoffs).

I was in the first round of reductions. Thankfully, I am still gainfully employed.

That is not true for many people, including the team I was a part for the last 2 years.

My former team’s positions were eliminated entirely. At the end of the first round, 2 teammates elected to retire or voluntarily leave; 4 were left standing (meaning they were laid off); and 3 of us were placed in other positions.

How rapidly it all happened was shocking. One day we were a team and the next I would not see some of my team members anymore.

Corporate world can be and is brutal. I’ve personally experienced headcount reductions 4 times in my 14 year career so far. I’m certain there will be more.

Beginning at the end of 2024, my team and others began preparing employees for what was coming.

The uncertainty that lingers for months in advance of knowing if you have a job or not is stressful!

We lean on tools to strengthen our resiliency during these times. These tools equip us for what will ultimately come. They remind us to be flexible and lean into strengths. Focus on what we can control and loosen our grip on what we cannot.

They are good reminders during this time. And while these tools don’t take away the hardship of enduring one of these reductions, it can help shift our mindset..

In February of 2025, I gave a presentation about Feelings and Resilience. Here is what I shared.

Referring to the Feeling Wheel, if you had to name the feeling(s) you have right now, what would it be?

Are you surprised that there are so many feelings? And yet, they can connect back to 6 core feelings.

What feelings do you tend to ignore?

Do you think it’s possible to ignore “bad” feelings and only experience “good” feelings? Why or why not?

Early this year, I finished reading Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

What I didn’t know before I read the book was how much resiliency is incorporated into imperfection.

Brene writes, when we become more accepting of uncomfortable feelings, we become more flexible and can enjoy life more fully even with feelings of discomfort.

In her book she notes:

  • Shame, guilt, fear, despair, disappointment, and sadness are difficult feelings that tend to cause vunerability, discomfort, and pain.
  • The most powerful feelings we experience have very sharp points, like the tip of a thorn.
  • Which usually leads to modes of distraction to get away from the uncomfortable feelings. Such as…mindless scrolling, eating, drinking, shopping, staying busy, work, choas, etc.

Everyone moves away from feelings of discomfort.

We also must remember that we cannot selectively ignore feelings.

“When we numb the dark, we numb the light.”

We can’t make a list of “bad” feelings and say, “I’m going to ignore these” and then list the positive feelings and say, “I’m going to fully engage in these!”

It doesn’t work that way.

Let’s explore the feeling of Joy.

To love and/or believe in something with your whole heart; to engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees…these involve the risk of vulnerability and often pain.

AND

Great joy can come from them.

Feelings of hopelessness, fear, blame, pain, discomfort, vulnerability, and disconnection sabotage our resilience and well being.

The only experience broad and fierce enough to combat a list like that is the belief that we’re all in this together and that something greater than ourselves has the capacity to bring love and compassion into our lives.

Practicing spirituality is what brings about healing and creates resilience.

Spirituality is being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.

Here is an example of the ways I’ve leaned into my spirituality practice.

Having a sense of purpose, meaning, and perspective in our lives allows us to develop understanding and move forward. Without purpose, meaning, and perspective, it is easy to lose hope, numb our emotions, or become overwhelmed by our circumstances.

We feel reduced, less capable, and lost in the face of struggle. The heart of spirituality is connection and through that, we won’t feel alone.

How do you know that you are ignoring uncomfortable feelings?

Recognizing and leaning into (not away) from discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace.

We live in a both/and world.

We can experience discomfort and joy. They are not mutually exclusive.

When you have the awareness, what can you do to practice leaning into the discomfort?

How can you lean into the discomfort of vulnerability and let joy in as well?

Exercise Prompt:

Hold up both hands, palms up and open. Can you practice holding the feelings of discomfort in one hand and the “good” feelings in the other hand? In fact, write on one open palm your feelings of discomfort and then write the “good” feelings on the other open palm. Practicing holding and experiencing both.

Silent Retreat 2025: Table Exercise

Silent Retreat 2025: Table Exercise

If you haven’t read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 yet of the Silent Retreat 2025 series, see links for the full story. 

The final morning of the retreat, Danielle was the first up to make breakfast for all of us.

As the cabin slowly began waking up, each of us wandered to the kitchen. We were still in silence. Some ate breakfast at the long kitchen table. Others took their breakfast on the back porch or in the living room. 

I pulled up a chair facing the window, ate my breakfast, and continued reading my Living Fearless book until time to meet in the living room. This gathering would indicate our coming out of silence.

Danielle led us in songs of praise and scripture. Then the focus is back to us and she asks who would like to share how God met us in our silence.

It’s not a requirement to share. It’s an invitation with what you feel comfortable sharing.

Each woman’s experience was unique. Each was tender, sweet, and sometimes heartbreaking too. Life stuff that needed to surface in the slowing down and silence so God could tenderly be near and have the opportunity to love, care, and begin the healing. 

I decided to share something I wrote which was prompted at the very beginning of silence.

Rewind back to the first night. Danielle prompted us to take part in an exercise using our holy imaginations.

What is holy imagination? God created you after His own image. God has an incredible imagination. Have you enjoyed a painted sky at sunset or sunrise? What about a giraffe or zebra? Then, you have experienced His imagination in creation. I think He may have a sense of humor too.

God created your imagination also. With His Spirit living within us, we are capable of using our holy imaginations while asking Him to guide us.

That first night, Danielle prompted us to close our eyes and imagine a table. What does the table look like? How many chairs? Where is the table? Is there a distinct scent or smell? 

You are at the table and Jesus appears too. Where are you sitting? Where is Jesus sitting? What does Jesus look like?

Jesus asks you if there’s something of value you’d like to give Him. What is it? What do you have to give Jesus?

What happens when you give it to Him?

Jesus also has something to give to you. What does He have for you? What happens when He gives it to you?

Do you have a conversation with Jesus? What does He say to you? What do you say to Him?

Below is my result of the exercise and what I shared with the ladies as part of my experience with God during that weekend.

Circle table. Where? No characteristics to the room. Only 2 chairs. No distinct smell. What am I holding that is of value to give to Jesus? 

Control.

Jesus sits down directly across from me. 

What does He look like?

He looks kind. Long hair. Beard. Gentle smile.

“Is there something you’d like to give me?” He asks. A gentle question.

My eyes immediately fill with tears and the tears fall from my face to the table.

I know He’s asking for something that is not and was never mine. And yet it’s something I hold onto so tightly because it feels like I am in control. 

I get to make decisions. I get to choose where my life goes next.

The control I have to give Him is lies.

It’s a lie I’ve believed in for so long so I could feel safety and security. 

It’s all an illusion.

Jesus knows this and He knows I’m coming to that conclusion too.

“What would you like to give me?” He gently asks again.

“Control,” I reply with an emotion filled voice and tear filled eyes.

The control I have is represented as a hand-sized white orb that glows.

I take it from my lap and put it on the table. I stare at it scared to let it go because it represents that I can control my fears. 

And if I don’t have it, what then? Am I doomed? Will I disappear? Will I survive? What will become of me?

I look across the table to Jesus with tears running down my face.

“I know,” He whispers. 

His eyes are kind and compassionate. He extends His arms across the table to meet me in my dilemma. 

Again, an invitation.

This gives me a bit more courage to push the white orb of control to the middle of the table where Jesus’ hands are.

It’s only then that I notice His hands. They are large, masculine yet soft. They remind me of my Dad’s hands. Then, I remember that my Dad was made in His image too.

I see the scars on His hands and a new wave of emotion strikes me.

Jesus did not control the cruxifixction. He asked God to “let this cup pass from me”. There was no other way and He let His Father’s will be done. 

He chose to not control. He surrendered. 

Jesus knows the temptation to control and how hard it is to surrender.

Even though the white, glowing orb of control is now in the middle of the table, I have not let go of it yet.

Jesus’ hands are open to receive and I open mine to release, to let go…

The white orb rolls into His hands. He pulls it into Himself and it’s gone. 

His hands come back to meet mine. “I know how hard that was,” he says. 

“You were holding onto something that was not real, something that the harder you gripped it, the more life it took from you.”

“Now, your hands are open and ready to receive the gifts and blessings I have for you instead. Now, you can carry me with you to combat the fears, the hardships, the scary things in your life. You can grip and hold onto me as tightly as you’d like. I am not going anywhere. I am with you always. I have always been with you. With the relinquishment of control, you have made room for me.”

“I am real. I am truth. You traded what is false for what is true. How much better is that? Do not grieve letting go of lies. Stand firm in truth. You are my daughter. I know your heart and I love you,” Jesus says to me. 

What do you have that is valuable to you to give to Jesus today? What do you think He has for you?

Lead the way, Lord. Amen.

7 Ways That Aging Has Surprised Me

Aging Well

This article originally published in Tish Co News.

1. Aging Skin

April is my birth month, and another year has come and gone. As I’ve advanced to my early 40’s, I’m reflecting on the ways that aging has surprised me such as how quickly my skin has changed. Even the skin on my hands. It is thinner, dryer with more wrinkles. I remember as a little girl one of my favorite things to do was to play with the skin on the back of my grandmother’s (Grannie Bea) hand. I was fascinated that if I pinched and pulled it up that it would stay there even after I let go. I would repeat that same pinch, pull, release over and over. I didn’t know or think about why that happened. I didn’t understand that as we age skin loses its elasticity and is the cause for the thing that fascinated me in my childhood. When I perform the pinch, pull, release test on my hand, it moves back into place quickly. For now, my skin’s elasticity is still in check. 

Tip: I recently started using this body lotion on my hands and arms and wow! The skin on the back of my hands looks and feels amazing! It really tones and has hydration that lasts.

2. Wrinkles and Gravity

Looking in the mirror, my face looks different, too. I admit that I’m guilty of pulling up the skin at my hairline to better understand the subtle work of gravity and time. In my mind’s eye I’m still 20-something years old and that’s the expectation when I see a photo or myself in the mirror. On the flip side, crow’s feet around my eyes means a life filled with laughter and smiles. The “11” lines between my eyes and forehead lines might mean stress and tension, but it also means the blessing of a job that challenges and grows me; it means friends and family that I love yet worry about too, it means life’s hardships that have shaped me, humbled me, and increased my character. Wrinkles are little marks of history our skin. 

Tip: A few products I use to help with the aging process:

Lash Boost: A true eye opener with long lashes.

Multi-Function Eye Cream: To improve the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles, sagging, and crow’s feet around the eyes.

Active Hydration Bright Eye Complex: For brightening, hydration around the eyes, and targets the signs of stress and fatigue.

3. Health

Gone are the days that I worry about numbers on a scale or the size of the jeans I fit into. Instead, the numbers I’m concerned about are my cholesterol, blood pressure, A1C, glucose numbers, and hormone levels. Health doesn’t equate into a certain look anymore (although that’s a nice byproduct). Health these days is about quality of life. Exercising to sustain muscle mass, which is so important as we age, being able to move around and be as active as I want to be chasing and picking up grandchildren. Being healthy from the inside out. Keeping my weight in check is an uphill battle; gaining weight in places I’d never gained before even though this is the healthiest I’ve eaten in my life! Little did I know how much hormones play into weight gain! If you haven’t had them checked, I’d highly recommend it. That’s for guys and girls! 

4. Career

A couple of years ago, I joined a Peer Mentoring Circle at work. I joined thinking I’d like help growing my career. I wanted to be mentored. Once I got to my first meeting, I realized I was one of 2 employees in my circle with the most years with Chevron. This year marks 14 years with my company. It was a shocking turn of the tables to be one of the older and more experienced in the room. I’ve taken that perspective forward now knowing I have a lot I’ve learned along the way and can share with others to help them navigate their career. I didn’t realize I’d entered mid-career because I still feel like I’m in my early career (I’m 20-something in my mind 😉 ). Aging means experience and that’s invaluable. 

5. Grief

I’ve now lived 18 years without my mom. I look back to 2007 and reflect on how young I was when she passed, 25 years old. My stepson is 25. To look at him as a reference point of the age I was when I lost my mom is surreal. At 25, you don’t have much life experience or life context in which to measure or compare big life events. I don’t know that I could have known or understood the loss in its entirety. Grief is funny that way. It doesn’t end, although it changes over time. I’m surprised at the ways it’s different now that I’m older; the years having created distance. I know that I’ve missed having a mother’s support in my life. I don’t know what that would have been like to have it, but I know it’s something that’s missing all the same.  You can read more about my mom in this post, Remembering Beyond Loss.

6. Confidence

As I reflect on my younger years, I’m thinking about how I wish I’d enjoyed life more, but I was too caught up with anxiety and worry. Fast forward a couple of decades later, I know myself better, I know my beliefs, I’m much more comfortable in my own skin and I wouldn’t trade it to be younger again. I understand more and more the adage, “youth is wasted on the young” because my oh my what I would do with youth now with the knowledge I have gained with aging.  

7. Wisdom

Each year grants the opportunity to be wiser and gain more perspective on this short life. I can appreciate having more experiences to draw from and I am thankful for getting older. I’m grateful for the maturity and wisdom that aging brings. The wisdom and blessings that are received can be given away to others. I’ve been blessed with time to make mistakes and learn from them. The years we’ve lived is an investment. We often think about investments in the form of financial. Time is a priceless investment. What reflections do you have as your birthday draws near? What have you learned and what will you do differently? How will you make the most of another birthday? What does aging well mean to you? 

What is Perspective Confessions?

Perspective Confessions

Hi! I’m Carlynn creator of Perspective Confessions. Welcome! I’m so glad you are here! The idea of Perspective Confessions was born in 2015. Writing has been a practice in my life starting in grade school and it made sense to create Perspective Confessions to be able to share articles, journal entries, musings, etc. about topics such as career, financial health, and overall wellbeing with all of you. When I write, I am able to connect with myself, unearth hidden truths much more easily than when I’m talking to a friend. Did you know that truth telling = confession? To confess is to tell the truth. Most, if not all of us, don’t stay connected to ourselves all the time. Our lives are filled with distractions and it takes work to get connected back up with yourself to understand how you might feel about something, know what decision to make, or to get connected to what’s true. Writing helps me do all those things. At some point, the writings in my journal shifted from writing just for myself to writing so that others could read it too. The truths that I’ve unearthed for myself I want to share it more broadly because my words might be the words that someone else needs, can relate to, and/or help them think about a situation from a different perspective. By the way, the quote below is from an amazing book, Living Fearless by Jamie Winship. Highly recommend!

“Truth always sets you free. Hiding truth always makes you a slave. If you will not tell the truth, you’re in bondage to the lie, the deception, and the rationalization.” – Living Fearless by Jamie Winship

Coach

As my professional life has advanced, I received my Financial Coaching certification and in my full-time Corporate America job, I am a Leadership Coach. You can learn more about financial health here, and you can read more about my experience with coaching in this post. Whether it be with writing or working one on one with others, the commonality is that I enjoy helping and connecting with people.

Career Confessions

Before I was able to climb the corporate ladder, I struggled mightily. A lot with anxiety. In my mid to late twenties, I went through some big life changes that included moving from a small town to a big city, combating severe anxiety, losing my mom, and divorce. I wrote a full series on my Career Confessions that you can read about here. I share tips about how I found new ways of working with anxiety, shifted my mindset, and slowly climbed the career ladder.

Wellbeing

Yes, writing about all those struggles makes me vulnerable. I hold the belief that we can learn from one another. Sharing helps us not feel alone or like we are the “only ones”. I listened to a podcast a long time ago that said we would not need therapists or counselors if we lived in good, healthy community because that good, healthy community would give us supportive and constructive feedback, come alongside the hard parts of life, share tools to help with life, etc. I believe that is true. The vast majority of us, though, live in isolation especially with today’s technology. And because of that, the need to be mindful and intentional with our wellbeing is paramount.

I’d love it if you’d join me as we learn about career, financial health, and overall wellbeing. Curiosity is key  in exploring differing perspectives…zooming out to see the big picture and zooming in to look at things more closely. It’s the push and pull of these vantage points that we can learn the most. Perspective Confessions is the source for inspiration for those who want to learn and grow. I am continually growing and learning; unearthing discoveries, and sharing truth or confessions I’ve learned along with the way from varying perspectives.. Perspective Confessions is about getting to the root of challenges as it relates to career, financial, and overall wellbeing and creating a toolbox of resources from what’s learned to equip you for the next step. If you want tools to manage your career and finances, value slowing down for a better quality of life, and aren’t afraid of being challenged; then you are in the right place.

If you know of someone that:

  • is struggling with their career,
  • struggles with anxiety or with big life changes,
  • wants to get their finances back on track,
  • wants to find a better balance in their life from the fast track, fast paced life they’re living, please share perspectiveconfessions.com with them!

And by all means, don’t miss any Perspective Confessions posts. Make sure you subscribe!

Financial Health, Career, and Wellbeing

Part 7: Career Confessions From a Small Town Girl in the Big City

Part 7: Career Confessions

If you are just joining this series, catch up here: Career Confessions parts 1-6.

Career Confessions Bonus

Surprise, there’s a bonus! The Career Confessions series isn’t done yet! The story is still unfolding. As I was originally writing the Career Confession series back in 2023, I received an offer for a new job within Chevron. This time the position of Leadership Coach. In this role, I would coach leaders. Brand new leaders, influential leaders, seasoned leaders leading new teams, and any individual contributor that would like to take part in coaching. Each one of us has a leader within capable of learning leadership behaviors, and exercising them for lasting, sustainable results at work.  

Imposter Syndrome

With any new job, feelings and thoughts can surface that say “I’m not qualified”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t know what I’m doing”, “why did they pick me?!”, “what if they find out I can’t do this?!”, “what if they find out I don’t have the skills?!”, and on and on the fearful thoughts spiral. I am not and was not immune. I had many of these exact thoughts when I was selected for this opportunity. This experience has a name, it’s called Imposter Syndrome. It’s not only limited to work…you might experience it if you are a new parent or in a new season of parenting. You might experience it when caring for an aging parent, or a new volunteer opportunity. Anything that gets you out of your comfort zone could have you experiencing imposter syndrome.  

My new job as a Leadership Coach had me all in imposter syndrome. Anxiety had taken center stage a few times and I was battling through it. Remember the anxiety I wrote about experiencing in Part 1 and Part 2 of this series. Well, I was experiencing it again, but in a different way. I have tools to combat anxiety, and it was time to use them. I began thinking about Moses. Yes, Moses, the guy that God chose to be the spokesperson and leader of the Israelites. I felt that God had called me to this Leadership Coaching job and had created a way for me to do this job even if I felt over my head at times. I looked up the passages in Exodus and prayed through it. This is one way I battled with anxiety and imposter syndrome. I knew that if God had appeared to Moses in a burning bush and Moses said, “no, not me” to God, he must have had some serious imposter syndrome. I found comfort in knowing Moses felt less than, felt he wasn’t worthy, felt he didn’t speak well, felt he wasn’t up to the challenge. God doesn’t make mistakes and Moses had been chosen. This is how I prayed through scripture. 

Praying Through Scripture

Scripture: Exodus 3:10-11 – So now, go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt. But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” 

Prayer: Lord, how many times have you called me to action? How many times have I not heard or chose not to hear? Fear standing between you and me and what you are calling me to do. I am thankful for your word and for Moses. He doubted his worth. He doubted you, Lord. He doubted his capabilities. 

Scripture: Exodus 3:12 – And God said, “I will be with you…” 

Prayer: And yet you were patient and reassured Moses. 

Scripture: Exodus 4:1 – Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me.” 

Scripture: Exodus 4:10-15 – Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” 

Prayer: Even with your reassurance, Lord, Moses still doubts. 

Scripture: Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite?” I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you and will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.” 

Prayer: Lord, you were resolute in your choosing of Moses for the Israelites’ spokesperson. You pursued him. You were steadfast. May I remember this when I feel your calling of me. Thank you for your word that shows the imperfection of people. There is comfort in the human disbelief…that it’s not just me. Your calling is intentional. You teach, walk beside, and equip those you call. You never forsake. Thank you, Father, for showing me in your word that imposter syndrome is not new; that doubt is common in human flesh. May I apply this wisdom to my life. Hide this teaching in my heart. Grant me courage to overcome the doubt and fear to step out in faith. Help me, Father, to humbly obey and follow you. Thank you for your grace and your patience with me as I continually work to train my ears to hear your callings amongst all the worldly noise. Give me sensitivity to your whispers and nudges. Amen 

Tools to Battle Through Imposter Syndrome

Sometimes falling on our knees in prayer is the exact right way to battle. Did this prayer make the imposter syndrome go away? No, it didn’t. However, it kept me showing up to each meeting with each leader. It led me to pray before each coaching session and invite God into that conversation. These scriptures were a reminder that God equips who He has called. He doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I knew by showing up even with the discomfort of imposter syndrome, I was going to gain more and more confidence. I was going to make mistakes. I was going to learn from them. I was going to be better because I was scared and sometimes being scared is a great motivator. It’s motivation to learn quickly so you don’t feel that way anymore. God was equipping me through the fear and through the imposter syndrome.  

Scripture: James 1:2-4 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

I was only going to get through it by walking through it one step at a time. He used this opportunity to hold up a mirror to show me all the things I had the capabilities to do and had not recognized in myself yet. He was showing me that I was equipped all along, but I needed a nudge (or push) out in the middle of the ring…to feel exposed to grow into who He made me to be. I can’t tell you how many of the leaders I have coached that have told me about their imposter syndrome too. No one is immune. We are all fallible human beings. We are all capable of learning. We are all capable of growing. We are better by showing up and doing it scared. Don’t let the anxiety or fear prove you right. You prove the anxiety and fear wrong. Prove the imposter syndrome wrong.  

If you know someone that has recently changed jobs and is experiencing anxiety or imposter syndrome, please share this blog post and this series with them.

Part 6: Career Confessions of a Small Town Girl in the Big City

You can read the original publication of Part 6 of the Career Confessions series in the Tishomingo County News linked here.

Part 6 of Career Confessions

If you have read parts 1 – 5 yet, make sure to catch up. Find them linked here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5.

Back in 2006 I had no idea of what life had in store for me. To be honest, I’m glad I didn’t have a crystal ball to predict what would happen. It would have scared the heck out of me and I’m sure I would have run away to hide, at least for a while. The older we become, the more perspective we have, but we still don’t know what the future holds. Only God holds the whole picture. If He revealed the whole picture of our lives all at once, I’m pretty sure we would all run and hide. In His wisdom, He gives us one day and one moment at a time. My career has had many challenges AND there have been many successes. It’s easy to focus on the negative unless you remember there are peaks AND valleys along the way. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come unless you look back to where you started. Hence a theme throughout this series has been context is everything and hindsight too. 

One could assume that I moved away to the big city and I’m living the high life. It’s easy to make assumptions about what someone’s life might be like. We live in a world where we have filters for the pictures we take and we post about the best parts of our lives. What if we pulled back the curtain to look at the parts that aren’t quite so polished? What about the not so neat and tidy parts? Life is rarely wrapped up in a neat little bow. To be honest, I am a little freaked that I’ve pulled back the curtain to write about the not so polished, neat and tidy parts of my life. Regardless, I think it’s more important to share so others might not feel alone or feel as though they have fallen short. Don’t be ashamed of the struggles because they lend themselves to building character. And my oh my what character I have built! 

The last question I asked the students at TCHS is, “how do you define success?” What does success mean to you? The shortest path between two points is a straight line. Start and finish. Success is rarely completed with a straight line. It’s much like a map with construction, detours, and can take much longer than anticipated. All those twists and turns and sometimes falling off the path completely means learning and gaining wisdom (aka context and hindsight). Don’t let the world tell you what success should be. You decide and pursue it. Success doesn’t have to mean lots money or fame. It could be getting married and having a family or paying off debt or buying a house or spending more time with friends and family. Success is measured by how you are fulfilled and progress, not perfection. My definition of success is to keep going, to learn from my mistakes and do better once I know better. I want to continuously be a better daughter, wife, sister, friend, Christian, stepmom and employee.

Every one of the “if I could go back and tell my younger self” advice included in this series…well those aren’t just for my younger self, it’s for me right now today too. Writing this series has been humbling. A few tears shed too. Sometimes writing it down causes you to think about it more thoroughly and thoughtfully. I didn’t get this far by myself. There have been people woven into this journey that have encouraged, reflected, come alongside me, cared and loved me through it. I would be completely remiss if I didn’t recognize God’s hand in all of it too. He has walked with me and guided me. Knowing that I am a shy, introverted girl, and yet I have a spirit of boldness that could only be explained as a gift from God. So I am going to keep going and I’m taking all the context, hindsight and life tidbits with me that I’ve learned along the way. My prayer is that you keep going too otherwise we may never get to our destination called success.

Part 5: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

This article was originally published in Tishomingo County News, linked here.

If you missed the previous 4 parts of this series, find them here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

At the beginning of this Career Confessions series, I wrote about visiting the Career and College Readiness classes and the football team at Tishomingo County High School (TCHS). That visit has been the inspiration for these articles. Growing up, I never thought about working for a company like Chevron. Honestly, I’m not sure I knew what Chevron was when I was in high school other than as a gas station. There isn’t much oil and gas activity in Iuka, Mississippi. Because of that, I wanted to share this wonderful company that I have worked with for 14 years. I wanted the students to know that if I could find my way to Chevron, it wasn’t out of their reach either. 

My sister and I at Tishomingo County High School

The students and I discussed economics at a high level. Oil and gas are commodities and are publicly traded on the open market. The market sets the price along with other global economies. Since many of these students drive, they understood the price of gas when filling up their cars. We talked through a recent big change in prices at the pump and how the pandemic impacted supply and demand. Demand dropped dramatically when the world shut down. Supply was in excess for the demand which drove down the price of gas. As the world opened again, demand increases but supply lags since it had been reduced to meet low demand during the pandemic. This caused prices to increase. This happened in many industries and many products because of the pandemic. 

Because Chevron is an Energy Company, I shared with the students about Chevron’s mission to provide affordable, reliable and ever-cleaner energy to the world. Chevron recently created Chevron New Energies, a section of the company that is investing in products to advance a lower carbon future, such as carbon capture and hydrogen. This part of the company is where an entrepreneurial spirit is encouraged because these projects are forging pathways in the energy transition. What a great place for outside the box thinkers and problem solvers. It was important to share with TCHS students the many opportunities within Chevron they may want to consider as they graduate, pursue higher education and/or careers. 

As described in previous articles, my career journey has been multifaceted, and I think that’s an accurate description of my career within Chevron too. I began working at Chevron in late 2011 after obtaining a job with a staffing agency. This job was a Technical Assistant with major capital projects. I became a Chevron employee in 2013, this time as a Senior Administrator to a General Manager named Dave. Dave was and still is my favorite manager. Dave had high expectations for his department including myself. It felt, at times, higher than what I was capable. He challenged and mentored me to being a better employee. But most importantly, Dave cared about his employees. Dave gave me a great start to my career at Chevron. Chevron’s tagline is Human Energy meaning Chevron is successful because of its people. Dave is one example of working alongside some of the best and brightest.  

For the first 7 years at Chevron, I was a trusted advisor and support to several General Managers. None of those jobs required me to have a college education. Not to say it didn’t help me, but it wasn’t mandatory. That’s another relevant point I wanted to make to the students at TCHS. Don’t let perceptions hold you back. Make the most of every job, even if you are only in supportive roles. I’ve had some of the most incredible experiences. For example, I’ve attended weekly meetings with executives and their leadership teams (this is the epitome of learning from the best and brightest); I’ve flown on Chevron’s corporate jet several times to Midland, TX; and I’ve also travelled on Chevron business to Calgary, Alberta Canada; Covington, Louisiana; and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I’ve had a bird’s eye view of business strategy, worked on diverse teams, problem solved and executed projects. It has been exciting, challenging, competitive, exhilarating, and has grown me to new levels. My experience at Chevron has been incredible! I am so thankful for all the opportunities and excited for the future.  

Because the Energy industry is driven by market prices and global economies, that means I have also faced market downturns in my career. At the publication of this post on my blog, I’m currently facing a restructuring of the company. This could be viewed as a negative, but I view it as an opportunity. These downturns have created movement in my career to gain exposure and experience in other parts of Chevron’s business and I wouldn’t trade any of it. Context is everything and hindsight too. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything and emphasize to the students at TCHS, it would be, “What appears to be a challenge very well could be an opportunity. Don’t discount your job title. You can make it what you want. Don’t be afraid to ask for and explore new opportunities. Own your career.” 

So, what happens next? Only 1 article left! Next week I’ll wrap up this series. Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the last story of this Career Confessions series from a small-town girl in the big city.