Life seems to be moving at such a break neck speed. I’m having trouble remembering that Thanksgiving is just around the corner.
November usually signals us to count our blessings and name the people, places, and things in which we are thankful. The busyness of life holds us back from slowing down enough to be thoughtful about our blessings.
This leads us to take many people, places, and blessings for granted.
I’m very guilty of this too!
So here is a challenge today.
What would it look like if you were to take 5 minutes today to sit still and reflect on what you are thankful for in your life?
Let’s take it a step further.
What if you put a recurring reminder in your phone to take 5 minutes to be thankful each day?
What do you think that would give to you?
How would it enhance your life?
To take time to be thankful?
It might give you an opportunity to slow down and take a deep breath.
It could be a mindfulness exercise demonstrating that you have a lot more going right in your life than what you what is going wrong.
Our human brains tend to focus on what is going wrong. Therefore, it takes conscious effort to look at what is going right and be thankful.
A very wise friend once shared with me that because we focus so much on the complaints in our lives that it’s not enough to hold complaints in one hand and the positives in the other.
Rather, we have to hold the positives with both hands to truly acknowledge them.
What would it mean if you put down the complaints you have about your life for 5 minutes?
And then held what you are thankful for in both hands? What if you did this everyday?
You just might be surprised that little by little over time your mood and outlook shift to thankfulness.
So, let’s recap. Here’s your challenge:
Put away any distractions.
Take 5 minutes.
Take a deep breath.
Put down your complaints about life for those 5 minutes.
Ask yourself, “what am I thankful for?” “What is going well right now?”
Bonus!
Set a recurring reminder on your phone to be thankful daily for 5 minutes each day.
Would starting your day being thankful work well for your schedule?
Or, would ending your day being thankful work better?
You decide.
Let’s start being thankful right now, today. Ready? Set. Go!
For other exercise prompts for greater overall personal well-being, check out this post about Feelings and Resiliency.
Why was Central Park created? Why does it make sense to have such a big park in the middle of a giant city?
Couldn’t that space be used for productivity? More buildings? More businesses? More revenue? How much revenue per square ft. do you think this space could generate?
The park is surrounded by massive skyscrapers. Relative to the space, a few more skyscrapers wouldn’t take up that much space of the park, right? How many office spaces could that be?
Central Park is 843 acres in size! It’s 2.5 miles from north to south and 0.5 miles from east to west.
It’s a National Historic Landmark and considered a masterpiece of landscape architecture.
Do you think whoever’s idea this was to have such a big, protected park in the city is crazy?
Central Park was created in 1858 to address the recreational needs of the rapidly growing city. Its purpose was to offer urban dwellers an experience of the countryside, a place to escape from the stresses of urban life and to commune with nature and other fellow New Yorkers.
In fact, Central Park has its own conservancy to preserve and celebrate Central Park as a sanctuary from the pace and pressures of city life, enhancing the enjoyment and well-being of all.
Why are we talking about Central Park?
Where is the Central Park in your life? How do you escape the pressures and stresses of life?
What do each of us have in common?
We are human beings.
As humans, we have needs and emotions that must be attended to, right?
Think of these 4 pillars as your own Central Park, or your greenspace. Let’s break down each part.
As we review each one, ask yourself, “what do you have that’s working and what do you have that’s not working?”
Mental. Being able to cope with mental stressors and challenges. Paying attention to your needs and feelings. Your thoughts control your energy.
Physical. Being able to adopt and sustain a healthy lifestyle. Exercise, nutrition, and sleep are all important. Connecting mind and body. Strong bodies help build strong minds.
Social. Being able to network. Building and valuing interpersonal relationships. Social connections widen perceptions and grow character.
Spiritual. Being able to adhere to beliefs, principles or values needed to persevere and prevail in accomplishing missions.
What else is on the picture above with the pillars of resilience?
The arrow that points in both directions. What does that indicate to you?
Each pillar overlaps. Investment in one pillar spills into other pillars.
For example, let’s pretend you are training for a marathon. First of all, that’s a mental goal, full of positive thinking.
It’s also a very physical goal, meaning you will need to progressively train over time. You’ll need to feed your body well. You’ll need rest and sleep.
Many people that train for marathons train in groups. This is a social activity. You might be training with people that are more experienced than you, so you can learn from them. They can share tips and tricks. They will encourage you to keep going when you want to quit.
Running a marathon can also touch on the spiritual pillar. It will take perseverance to complete this goal. It’s a goal that is bigger than you.
If you are your own conservatory for your pillars, how are you doing? How well are you protecting these areas?
The Central Park conservatory works year-round, rain or shine to maintain and restore every inch of the park.
How well are you protecting your greenspace?
What rhythms do you need to add into your life? Daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly?
Each one of us has 52 weeks a year; 365 days. Is a couple weeks, or 14 days, of vacation a year sufficient to maintain or build your 4 pillars?
How are you protecting your greenspace so that you can show up for your family, your work and team, for yourself? You can’t pour from an empty glass, and you can’t help others without putting on your mask first.
Maybe this feels overwhelming because you need a lot of work in 2-3 of these pillars. Or maybe you know exactly what you need to do in only 1. Whatever the case, think about what is one small change you could make today?
Start there and build. Become your own Conservatory.
It’s no surprise that we live in a world where bad things happen. Especially if you watch the news. It can be quite depressing. It can leave us feeling pessimistic and “waiting for the next shoe to drop” so to speak.
What if you could flip the pessimism on it’s head and be more optimistic? Have you ever wondered the impact that optimism could bring to your life? Optimism might not be what you think it is.
In fact, what words or phrases come to mind when you hear the word optimistic?
Sunshine and rainbows
Rose colored glasses
Always happy
What about words like:
Successful outcomes?
Confidence?
Positivity?
Hopefulness?
Or phrases like:
Make lemonade out of life’s lemons, or
The glass is half full
The reality is that optimism is not all sunshine and rainbows. It’s not looking at the world through rose colored glasses either. Optimists are actually quite realistic. And just because you are an optimist, it doesn’t mean you are always happy. Nor does it mean that if you are happy, you are an optimist.
Optimism is, however, the focus of successful outcomes. It is having confidence, positivity, and hopefulness. It’s more than just being positive; it’s having a bright outlook on your future and doing what you can to make your situation better.
Optimisim is having a state of positive beliefs. Optimism is the tendency to notice and expect the positive, focus on what you can control, and take purposeful action. It is how we interpret and perceive the world around us and it’s about the action we take.
There is scientific studies on optimism. It’s been proven that it’s a cornerstone of wellbeing.
Science has also proven that optimistic people are:
more resilient
more productive, high performing
less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and burnout
goal setters and planners
more hopeful for the future.
They:
believe they control the direction of their lives
are better able to cope and recover after set-backs
are healthier and recover faster.
How do you cultivate optimism for your wellbeing?
When a challenge arises, do you expect the negative or expect the positive? Our brains are wired to look for what we believe. I
f you believe that you won’t achieve a goal, you are correct. Your brain will look for evidence to support that belief.
The opposite is also true. If you believe in a positive outcome, you are correct. Your brain will look for evidence to support that belief.
When a challenge arises, do you see a threat or an opportunity? Are you passive when a challenge arises or do you accept and control what you can?
Do you ruminate on the negatives of a challenge or do you focus on solutions? Do you avoid or take purposeful action? Do you isolate or hide when challenges arise or do you reach out for help?
If we are truthful, I’d imagine that we could fall on the spectrum of low or high optimism depending on the day or the circumstance. We are human after all. Optimism doesn’t mean you can’t be upset if things fall apart or get offtrack. However, it is a belief that you can make your situation better. It’s the realistic viewpoint that if everything falls apart, we get to choose how we pick it back up again.
How can you learn to be more optimistic?
First, we are aware of our thought tendencies. Then, we reframe from a pessimistic viewpoint to an optimistic thought process. It’s an intentional decision to fix the negatives and more forward…positively move forward.
Here’s your call to action.
Think about 1 challenge that you’ve faced this year.
What happened?
How did you overcome it or pivot?
What did you learn that you can apply to future, unknown challenges?
We move at lightening speed in our lives. It’s so easy to overcome or accomplish a goal and swiftly move on to the next thing. Taking a moment of reflection is important to realize how far you’ve com and how you navigated challenges.
Those reflections could help you flex your optimism muscle for future challenges.
And only 5 months later, I attended again. This time on my birthday weekend!
The Silent Retreat was in a different location this time. It was hosted at Shepherd of the Ozarks (SOTO), located in the heart of the Ozark mountains in Harriett, Arkansas.
The total drive for me was around 8 hours from Houston, Texas to Harriett, Arkansas.
I had never been to the Ozark Mountains before. It is beautiful! The last hour of the drive was breathtaking! It reminded me of the Smoky Mountains.
When I arrived, I parked and unloaded my car only to reload my things into a truck. The truck would cross the creek and take me the remaining distance to the cabin.
The creek crossing reminded me of the creek you cross going to J.P. Coleman State Park. My Iuka, Mississippi friends will know what I mean.
But the creek at SOTO was much larger and required a 4-wheel drive vehicle.
The weather forecast was looking like a lot of rain. What we didn’t know is that there would be record breaking rain that weekend.
After unloading our things, we settled into the kitchen where a meal had thoughtfully been prepared for all of us.
As you can see from the photo, there were 19 ladies in attendance.
The cabin was gigantic, about 7,600 square feet. It was 3 levels with numerous bedrooms. Plenty of room to spread out both in the cabin and on the front and back porches.
All during dinner, there was talking and conversation. After dinner, we gathered in the living area. Danielle led us in worship songs and scripture. She guided us in an exercise to use our holy imagination that prepared our minds for the weekend of silence.
Then, with our phones turned into Danielle, we shifted into silence.
When I returned to my room, I was met with interesting visitors in the bathroom. Not 1, not 2, but 3 wasps were in my bathroom! I had to summon help from Danielle to get rid of them.
The wasps would prove to be interesting violators of my silent weekend.
It rained, thundered, and lightened much of the night. As the day broke, so did the weather. Many of the ladies were going outside to explore the outdoors. It was beautiful scenery at SOTO. I had heard some of them talk about a prayer walk the night before. The hike had signs with scripture prompts along the path. This is where I wanted to go.
I packed up my journal and pen in my bag. Grabbed a coffee to go and set out to find this path. I found the prayer walk and started to doubt if I should continue. Since it had been raining the night prior, it was muddy and where the path began, it was steep. I hesitated, but decided to at least go a little ways before giving up.
My next hurdle was wooden planks that served as bridges without hand rails over shallow ravines. When stepping on the wooden planks, they bowed under my weight. I must have stepped forward and stepped backward at least 3 or 4 times.
I was out of my comfort zone. And then I laughed at myself, “says the girl that drove 8 hours alone to be at a silent retreat.”
This gave me gusto to cross the plank quickly only to be met with a second plank to cross. I didn’t hesitate as much with this one.
I came to the first scripture prompt, Psalms 96, a psalm of praise. It seemed so appropriate given the beautiful mountains and the gurgling creek below me. I sat in silence and read the scripture through again and enjoyed the sights of the beautiful landscape.
The next scripture prompt on the path was Psalms 32:1-7, a psalm of confession.
“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.”
I was struck with how the verse spoke to me. If I hide and keep sin in my life a secret, I will waste away. Sin is detrimental physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The part about “your hand was heavy upon me” says to me that your conscious is speaking about the sin. Sin preoccupies our lives and takes our strength. The relief from the bind of sin is to confess it to the Lord.
This was an humbling experience on the prayer path…to sit in silence and to sit with truth.
I continued on the path only to come to another crossing. The path continued on the other side of the creek. I was wearing tennis shoes and given the rain the night before, the creek was high.
I decided I would not cross. Instead I found a makeshift perch on a rock and decided to sit and take in God’s beauty He created.
Because I did not have my phone or camera, my journal and pen served to capture the beauty.
It’s easy to forget to use all our senses when we experience something. We carry these mini computers with us all day, i.e. phones. It’s easy to snap a photo, but what else other than the visual did you experience?
Writing down what I was seeing, hearing, and feeling helped me capture the moment and embed it in my mind. Here’s what I wrote:
“Water gurgling and bubbling. Water falling that sounds like water filling up a bathtub. Very vibrant greens from the moss on the sides of the trees and rocks to the grass and buds on awakening trees from their winter’s nap. The simplicity of beauty. The grass, the trees, the moss, and the water doing nothing other than what they were designed to do. No rush, no busy, just being what they are supposed to be. They are all enough, more than enough. Flowing water around the bend and out of sight. Not in a hurry, but a constant flow. Roots that create the perfect natural stair steps to the water. Lavender flowers. Are those weeds? Does it matter? I’ve never seen this place. It feels like a gift from God as I journeyed to spend uninterrupted time with Him. The temperature is perfect. Not hot, not cold. Mossy, velvet carpet. Soft to the touch. And purple flowers popping out here and there among the fresh greenery.”
If you’ve been reading my blog, you may find that I write often about silence and stillness. Silence and stillness are tools. They are spiritual disciplines. They are practices to have greater personal wellbeing.
Our modern world is noisy and busy.
What are you missing by getting swept away in the constant demand on your time and the distractions?
What if you carved out time for silence and stillness? What do you think would happen?
Maybe you’d notice and experience the world around you like I experienced being in the mountains and by the creek.
Maybe you’d experience all of your senses.
Maybe you’d be aware of more.
Many think that silence is taking things away, like your phone and distractions. While that’s true, what’s also true is thinking about what silence could give you/add back instead.
Stay tuned! Next week, I’ll continue writing about my experience with a Silent Retreat weekend.
Hi! I’m Carlynn creator of Perspective Confessions. Welcome! I’m so glad you are here! The idea of Perspective Confessions was born in 2015. Writing has been a practice in my life starting in grade school and it made sense to create Perspective Confessions to be able to share articles, journal entries, musings, etc. about topics such as career, financial health, and overall wellbeing with all of you. When I write, I am able to connect with myself, unearth hidden truths much more easily than when I’m talking to a friend. Did you know that truth telling = confession? To confess is to tell the truth. Most, if not all of us, don’t stay connected to ourselves all the time. Our lives are filled with distractions and it takes work to get connected back up with yourself to understand how you might feel about something, know what decision to make, or to get connected to what’s true. Writing helps me do all those things. At some point, the writings in my journal shifted from writing just for myself to writing so that others could read it too. The truths that I’ve unearthed for myself I want to share it more broadly because my words might be the words that someone else needs, can relate to, and/or help them think about a situation from a different perspective. By the way, the quote below is from an amazing book, Living Fearless by Jamie Winship. Highly recommend!
“Truth always sets you free. Hiding truth always makes you a slave. If you will not tell the truth, you’re in bondage to the lie, the deception, and the rationalization.” – Living Fearless by Jamie Winship
Coach
As my professional life has advanced, I received my Financial Coaching certification and in my full-time Corporate America job, I am a Leadership Coach. You can learn more about financial health here, and you can read more about my experience with coaching in this post. Whether it be with writing or working one on one with others, the commonality is that I enjoy helping and connecting with people.
Career Confessions
Before I was able to climb the corporate ladder, I struggled mightily. A lot with anxiety. In my mid to late twenties, I went through some big life changes that included moving from a small town to a big city, combating severe anxiety, losing my mom, and divorce. I wrote a full series on my Career Confessions that you can read about here. I share tips about how I found new ways of working with anxiety, shifted my mindset, and slowly climbed the career ladder.
Wellbeing
Yes, writing about all those struggles makes me vulnerable. I hold the belief that we can learn from one another. Sharing helps us not feel alone or like we are the “only ones”. I listened to a podcast a long time ago that said we would not need therapists or counselors if we lived in good, healthy community because that good, healthy community would give us supportive and constructive feedback, come alongside the hard parts of life, share tools to help with life, etc. I believe that is true. The vast majority of us, though, live in isolation especially with today’s technology. And because of that, the need to be mindful and intentional with our wellbeing is paramount.
I’d love it if you’d join me as we learn about career, financial health, and overall wellbeing. Curiosity is key in exploring differing perspectives…zooming out to see the big picture and zooming in to look at things more closely. It’s the push and pull of these vantage points that we can learn the most. Perspective Confessions is the source for inspiration for those who want to learn and grow. I am continually growing and learning; unearthing discoveries, and sharing truth or confessions I’ve learned along with the way from varying perspectives.. Perspective Confessions is about getting to the root of challenges as it relates to career, financial, and overall wellbeing and creating a toolbox of resources from what’s learned to equip you for the next step. If you want tools to manage your career and finances, value slowing down for a better quality of life, and aren’t afraid of being challenged; then you are in the right place.
If you know of someone that:
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